Past Two Weeks | 1-14/1 - Don't worry, I didn't disappear

Hey Islanders! Hope you had a good New Year’s Eve and Day (And that you remembered it if you wanted to). Me? I slept through New Years thanks to a marked lack of people around me acting like idiots with fireworks. A lot of you know the deal with what’s going on, but just in case you don’t I cover the news thread, TWItter and the League and more if I’ve got something to advertise. If you’re looking for what’s going on on a broader scope, Belle ilse en terre’s newsletter should cover that. Before I get to the classifieds I’d like to extend a warm Past Two Weeks^™ welcome to newcomers Las cola blanca, Sitrian city states, Koressia and Severya who somehow, although unfortunately, found their way into this dispatch. So, here’s this fortnight’s classifieds brought to you by radical and significant canon alterations!

Ahnslen Government does the IC equivalent of Supernanny rewarding her children whilst a whole bunch of people in Voiruheim get drunk and fat. Yorrkon’s Government readies itself to conduct its democratic mandate. Ryansan, leader of Altera continues the road to a corporatocracy through increasingly blurring the lines between his business and the government. He then hilariously states that the people of Altera are the backbone of the nation whilst linking that to innovation and capitalism - a call to his agenda most likely. Oturian Government places an incredibly ineffective and self-restrictive embargo on the Thuzbek Government in an attempt to please the League, whose most conservative members took more steps than Oturia. Former President suddenly a war criminal and already been sentenced to execution.

More stuff is hitting the fan in Noronica as the air force begins to drop bombs on Noronica. Favourite line for me is when NMC states that “Despite his calls for calm, many have taken to social media” which seems to just explain so many things. Alteran-like smoke coming from Orsandian buildings whilst Almorea responds to the continuing metaphorical flaming garbage fire IC that has followed us into 2019.

And now we transition to a meme

Reports out of the Alteran Republics suggest that Apartheid isn’t going very well but this soon segways into more familar stories of major domestic investment and infrastructure upgrades. Anime which has political messaging appears to have annoyed two major corporations who help run the nation in Eurania, according to a news outlet owned by one of these corporations. Michigonia is having an IC panic attack over what is happening in Gael whilst the leader of Orsandia is taken hostage following an Alteran Lite^™ threatening of a democratically elected legislature. Athara Magarat continues to be the least desirable place to live in Argus as revelations surrounding child trafficking and sex scandals come out. Ominous sounding “council for stability” created in Noronica. A couple of subdivisions in Noronica siding with the Overlord, setting the scene for a civil war. Dormill-Siturian defence force is on the move as deployment into Arvan begins to ensure a democratic government has oversight over the contested territory. Enchantan media rehashes and expands on what the Athara Magarati press release days ago whilst Aruian elections get underway.

Current Aruian President who is not running is reflecting on his term seriously… go write the book already…. Some avant-garde (mostly hideous in my opinion, with the best being a suit with a batman cape) fashion coming out of Aruia, Almorean Government back to mundane bureaucratic things whilst the Athara Magarati casually takes another step to enrage their middle class by doubling vehicle tax. Tupolev goes missing over Brulafi (which from what I hear of Tupolevs doesn’t sound exactly that unrealistic) whilst the Euranian Government confirms it was responsible for the arrest of people caught up in the Enchanti-Magarati scandal. Date for Aruian election set whilst there’s somemore Fashon going on. The Bureaucracy of Almorea reconvenes whilst Athara Magarat continues to take a sledgehammer to the happiness of its middle class. Police chief in Eurania talks about the trafficking issue.

Suvurnia chooses to continue its centrist and secular rule although they will need to be in coalition with the Islam Democrats. Somehow, Cheoju’s head of state is optimistic about the year ahead whilst Townsiders argue about whether they want to allow fighting in the school yard or not. Results out from relatively pointless electorate elections whilst Ahnslen authorities make some arrests. Angry Ethnics in New Totzka agree to delay a referendum whilst the Almorea, the receding bureaucracy helps the construction of a pipeline. Thuzbekistan’s opposition leader has a suspected heart attack whilst the Prime Minister of the nation seeks to create a subtle communist revolution in Noronica. Las Coca Cola blanca’s leader announces her goal whilst Wellsian media does a bit of an international recap. Pipeline disturbs the bureaucracy of Almorea whilst Dragao do Mar get a new Prime Minister in office. Head of San Jimenez sets out goals for the coming year whilst Oster Prime Minister seeks to step down after revelations surrounding his mental illness. Greater Pretoria continues to rip up any sense of order or democratic ideals whilst Korresian media remains silent. Boris makes everyone cold in Northern Severya whilst a constitutional change in the Sitrian City States could bring a national emergency to its end.

Peace and Quiet

Keverai Transitional Council confirms that a process for upcoming elections has been decided upon whilst Ryansan from Altera denies the obvious. Anmal crossing hijacks our TWItter thread whilst the President of Almorea comments on the “proliferation of Chungus memes in Almorea”. Remember that Enchanti celebrity from last edition of Past Two Weeks^™? Well, she cancelled her show and stated that the “Refugees ruined [insert expletive of choice] tour”.As this happened, Radio Free Europe comments on the debate surrounding the existence of labour camps in Gael’s Brulafi. CEO and Head of State in the Alteran Republics gives a mini-speech on TWItter about unity. Jimenean leader uses biblical metaphor to cast his vision of San Jimenez onto the peasants populous. Feminist media applauds the induction of their keh-ween as the Minister of Culture whilst outgoing Prime Minister from Dragao Do Mar wishes the new government good luck. Aruian President sends his thoughts to Oster Prime Minister.

So, if you need to sum up what’s going on in TWI at the moment in one meme - maybe it’s this?

Tagging Vancouvia cause he seems to like these