I mentioned in another dispatch from this series that around the 1999-2003 era I went through very dark spots thanks to my parents separation and divorce. And I do mean dark. I must say that I never fell as far away from what you could consider healthy, but I dangerously played in the border of it, watching into the void of the unhealthy many teens have to deal with on a daily basis.

Falling Away from Me is an interestingly dark, mixing several different rhythms and cadences in it's 5ish minutes run. It is also one of the songs where Korn's vocalist Jonathan Davis best uses his voice to transmit feelings of desperation. The song is said to have 2 meanings: it is said that it is a song centered around child abuse, and how this damages kids, but also it is said that it is also about a person being abused to the point that they become hollow shell of themselves, dealing with suicidal thoughts. It went on to become one of Korn's greatest hits (and my personal favorite of the band)

Did I felt like that? Perhaps. It is hard to remember. Feelings and emotions can be like a tornado, dragging it and mixing it all up. I think I did. I think I felt suicidal, and I think I felt the desire to kill the pain. To let it all go. Thankfully, I did it through loosing myself into the music. I often felt that, while the right music was playing, the self I was would just dissolve into the sounds, the stories being told, the shared emotions and the beat of the drums.

Music is my favorite drug after all.

All text by Elegarth, The Seeker of Power, except the lyrics, owned by their respective Copyright owners. Format by Elegarth. March-May, 2019.