Scientific Studies Suggest Voting for Legendus May Increase Coolness, Attractiveness
In a recent study conducted by the Totally Legit Research Institute of Legendus, Which Is A Real Thing So You Don’t Need To Look It Up (TLRILWIARTSYDNTLIU), findings are pointing strongly to a correlation between support of Legendus in the race for Fry at the Bottom of the Bag (FATBOTB) and general awesomeness - not to mention a potential increase in libido.
“Our top researchers have looked at the evidence, and frankly, the numbers don’t lie,” explains Dr. Lucien Kearns, scribblings something very important down on his equally scientific clipboard. “I mean, literally, they don’t lie. Numbers aren’t sentient, they’re incapable of thought. That would just be silly... right?”
Research into the cause of this phenomenon is still ongoing, as current tests have only been performed in controlled conditions, but theories currently suggest that electing Legendus for FATBOTB will have a positive impact on the Spiritus region as a whole, including bumper crops for potato farmers.
"At this rate, we can't find a reason why people shouldn't vote for Legendus," adds Dr. Kearns. "Of course, we're totally legitimate scientists who must remain impartial, but the fact is, Legendus simply appears to be the most sensible choice."
Undoubtedly, a vote for me is a vote for science, logic, and unyielding potatoes!
Don't be a dud, be a spud. Vote Legendus this upcoming Monday!