On the Occasion of Inauguration

*the new delegate steps up to the podium with a certain air of gravitas*

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here, before our gods, to bear witness to a momentous occasion. Court Astrologers have brought to my attention the birth of a new star in the night sky, to which they ascribe all manner of import and omen.

“Well, this I must see,” I insisted to the gathered astrologers. “Point out to me this new body in the heavens.”

“Sire, it was but a metaphor,” they responded, in sniveling tones and with much prostration. “A metaphor to denote your ascension to power in this region. There is not actually a new star to be seen.”

For this, and many lies besides, I had the astrologers exiled to Elba. I also issued a decree that the collective noun for a group of astrologers be henceforth known as “a deception” – “A Deception of Astrologers.”

But I am not here to tell all of you about the exciting new job openings in the astrology department. For, though they may have lied, they spoke a certain truth in spite of themselves. Though blind to the hand held before their face, they could nonetheless sense its presence, and thus flinch appropriately.

This Bard spake not in metaphor but plainly. Our erstwhile prince has fallen, and in the sky new fires now burn. This is a fearful state in which to exist – that betwixt the fires in the firmament and the shadows in the great deep.

I stand before you now to tell you that I will get to the bottom of these celestial fires, and I will keep our region safe from their eldritch tongues. This is my promise to you all as delegate of South Pacific.

I will remain vigilant to all that would disturb the glassy surface of the sea. I will provide safe harbor before the swirling maelstrom. I will stare into the eye of the risen kraken and I will not flinch.

Amen