by Max Barry

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by The Oppressed Peoples of Richard Milhouse Nixon. . 4 reads.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

My father told me to wash his thermos today. He said it had had Japanese "apple cider" and he didn't want it to be mixed with the tea he was going to pour in and drink later.

I took a quick sip to test the mettle of this apple cider before I washed it all out.

It was apple cider vinegar.

This is probably my last entry, my heart can neither take this betrayal nor the sheer bitterness of the drink in question.

Farewell forever,