by Max Barry

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by The Futuristic Principality of Too-Technical Japan. . 13 reads.

The Greatest Story I Have Ever Heard

Sit down, is of story time.

Once upon a time, a lonely potato walked into a bar. The bartender told him that they didn't serve their kind here, only for the lonely potato to fire his wrist rockets at the bartender and then leave. After exiting the bar, the lonely potato mounted his mighty unicorn and decreed, "Onward Tiberius, we must away to the sky. The mortals of this world have not the patience for the word of our lord." With that, the lonely potato's unicorn sprouted wings, and took to the sky. However, just as they reached the gates of the clouds, a meteor struck the unicorn, sending the pair plummeting down to the Earth. From the impact crater emerged a platypus, who strode confidently on her hind legs as she searched for an appropriate place to undergo metamorphosis. On her way to find the perfect location with which to spin a cocoon, she encountered a small blue flower in the grass. "Please do not kick me," the flower said in a hushed tone. "I am a platypus," replied the platypus, "I cannot kick you without exploding." This seemed to calm the flower, for it now smiled at the platypus. "That's good," the flower said. "Because when an ostrich plays the tuba, I buy a new toothbrush."

And that is why refrigerators do not produce llamas.

-Zoygaria, December 17th, 2020.