by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics




by The Grand Principality of Novgorod-Pskov. . 85 reads.

Novgorodian Druzhına | Issue III | 21/02/2021

Novgorodian Druzhına
Issue III, 21/02/2021
Novgorod-Pskov's finest newspaper brings to you various things I feel like rambling about.
Basically whatever I want to say that's too high class (aka biased and badly written) for Euronews.

It's back! After a break of only like a year.
I never said I'd do this regularly.

I ping peeps the first time I talk about them. If you don't like being pinged, then shut up and suck it. I mean that in the nicest way possible.

I have no regrets about my font choices.

2nd Deputy Commissioner Elections, February 2021

Time to annoy peeps! I'm overtly biased and opinionated, go read Euronews if you want decent election coverage. Continue reading if you for some reason want to know what I think about everything.
So yeah, unless I've made it explicitly clear otherwise, everything in this is my opinion. You may attack my opinions, but please do so in an intelligent manner, and don't get needlessly offended or defensive.

At some point I'll run for commish again. I look forward to being able to smear myself.

I think I've got more candidates to smear this month than I've ever had before! Isn't that exciting. Our lovely nations foolishly thinking they can gain the commissionership are: St Scarlett, Walfo, and Sicilian Imperial-Capitalist Empire, and (last and least) Libertandonien! Everyone go pingspam them to show your support!

Last time I did this, I said that I'd try to be neutral, since Republic of Satherland wasn't doing any coverage. He's still not doing writing, but I'm fed up trying to act sensible.

For those of you who are so uncultured that you don't know what I'm talking about (looking at youse, Drewites), the Commission is defined in the Act as being to "protect the regional government’s stability, and amend or correct various pieces of past legislation." The three members of the Commission also sit on the Moderation Commission, doling out justice according to the RMB Moderation Act, from their conference chambers in Eurocord. This second purpose is perhaps of greater import than the first: they are effectively judges, and it would not do to have judges who are incapable of being professional or serious. This is probably why I lost when I ran for commish. Or, if it wasn't, it should have been.

Okay, so this is the bit where I get to say random stuff about the peeps running for Commish. We'll do them one at a time. Feel free to TG me your angry complaints about defamation or whatever; I won't read them.


I'm writing this on Lib's bday, so I feel like it'd be mean to be too cruel.
But I'm mean, so who cares.

Lib has been a European regular for a while, except that time when he bogged off to TNP and left us with his Krestonien.
This is his first time running for commish, or at least I can't find any mention of him in my dispatch, so for those peeps obsessed withhavintg a "new face in government" or whatever, then good luck deciding if you want to support him or not. He's not new to Europe at all, but he is new to the election contest. I have prepared my popcorn to watch the mental struggle as those peeps decide whether to vote for him. I've forgotten what my point was, so I'll shut up.

Reading his campaign dispatch, my attention is instantly grabbed by his intention "to write a short Facebook about why the people of Europe should vote for me being their commish." This is deeply troubling, as it suggests an attempt by megacorporations to profit from European politics. I would encourage him to clarify this, as I hope nobody would dream of voting for him whilst this terrifying prospect is on the table.
And yes I'm aware it's just a typo.

"In politics, I'm a relatively young face. In fact, this is the first election ever of mine. With me, the people will get someone new and literally young."
I'm so glad to hear I'm right about this being his first election. I hate to have to rewrite paragraphs. Anyway, to provide context for the "literally young", he's just turned 15 (happy birthday lib uwu), so he's not that young. To be clear, I'm not trying to discredit him here (for once), but rather to reassure peeps that him saying he's "literally young" doesn't mean y'all are about to vote for an 8-year-old. however, this seems pretty much like he's pandering to the "no elect old regular" crowd, which (although it's a thing worth doing since there seems to be a few peeps who think like that), I'm always wary of. Just because someone's new doesn't mean they should be elected. Or maybe that's the oligarch in me speaking.

With my time in Europe, I ca. know how the RMB works and such. With me, there will be someone who got experience and knows what he's doing.
I hope he knows what he's doing with the commission better than with his sentence structure. He's def active enough to have a handle on how things work, buuuuuuut so do the other candidates. This sentence does nothing to convince me to vote for him, and not, say, Sicily. Given how short his dispatch is, I would've liked to see more about what makes him a better candidate than the others, rather than just why he wouldn't suck as a commissioner. But hey, I'm not an elector, so he's not trying to convince me anyway.

Everyone, who votes for me, gets a puppy 🐶 :3 ( Not really, but if you wish hard enough, it may happen :D)
Here endeth the lesson. So, a pretty short dispatch, where only one of the sentences feels to me at all well-placed. It's had 39 reads so far, so it's certainly reaching peeps - but if he's reading this, I'd like him to consider rethinking his platform, and maybe adding some more of what makes him the best candidate, rather than just an acceptable one.
However, he did say in Eurocord that he likes pineapple pizza, so he has my endorsement. (Even though I can't give endorsements cos I'm not in the WA.) (I don't care if I've said that too much, this is my dispatch to ramble about stuff.)

Now, on to the debate: a most enlightening affair. For most of it, Lib used vague or passive language, either making a statement that didn't say much, or agreeing with one of the other candidates. While this might make for a good political career irl, it felt as though it fell slightly short of my expectations, especially since the other candidates generally gave more fleshed-out answers. I feel exceptionally cruel for picking him apart on this, but the point of the debate imo is to challenge the candidates and encourage them to give a fuller idea of what they stand for, and Lib didn't provide anything of much worth. Since beginning writing this paragraph, I've been reminded that Lib only uses his phone for NS, which is kinda a handicap for writing lengthy posts quickly - so I should probably give him the benefit of the doubt on that one. His main contribution was "I want to decrease spam with explicitly adress of it and a faster process of punishing if one has broken the rule." This is certainly a valid viewpoint, but one which would require a sense of how he would intend to accomplish it before I accepted it as an achievable aim.

To conclude: Lib's platform, aside from his being the only candidate to like pineapple pizza, is fairly weak, and were I an elector, I wouldn't vote for him. If he's reading this, then I'd firmly encourage him to write another campaign dispatch, or at least to update his current one. Were he to be a tenable candidate to me, he'd need to flesh out his policies and provide details on how he'd achieve a "faster process of punishing" spam, given that by its nature Modcomm is a rather slow and cumbersome system. Would he seek to replace it, or merely streamline it? Further, he said he thinks Modcomm to be too lenient, and agreed with Sicily that it doesn't give harsh enough punishments. I'd like him to provide information on what punishments he would deem fitting.

So, I leave this subject with a quote from the candidate: "Everybody should be treated equally." Profound words.



I'll say it now, my impression of Walfo is not a favourable one. They appear overly fixated on the "old regulars in gov bad" thing I complained about above, and they seem pretty spammy on the RMB. This is not defamation, this is a rambling opinion. I'm good at those.
Anyway, now that I've convinced y'all not to vote for them through my eloquent denunciation, I'll look at why you possibly should vote for them.
Walfo's campaign dispatch is pretty decent, even if I'd like it to have better paragraph structure (Btw Walfo this is more than me being petty, although there's an element of that - I, and I'm sure some other peeps, find it difficult to read textwalls like that one. You'd make it easier for peeps to see what it is you stand for if you broke it up into paragraphs). It reads as emotional but heartfelt, and makes me confident that they're genuinely trying to use the position to make a positive difference in Europe. Whether I agree with their methods, is a different matter.

I cannot say I agree with the fixation on endorsements. Granted, it's in the welcome telegram and WFE that Europe's "NS's most endo-friendly region" or whatever, but basing half of one's platform on the misguided idea that endorsements are of any great import is a mistake. Endorsements are nice and all, but they don't mean anything - I'm doing perfectly well without them. Where endorsements do matter is in encouraging newer nations to feel valued by the community; after I moved to the region some years ago, the fact that I was instantly endorsed by a few nations - I remember PoLiet among them - was in no small part why I chose to stay. So, there is a time and a place for endorsements, but an endorsement program in a region with an active founder should be limited to the delegate and new nations. In Europe, and endorsement program in favour of the delegate is somewhat problematic given the insistence that their endorsements are people voting for them to be delegate, but that is only a reason against having an endorsement program, not a reason to have an all-encompassing one.

The other main pillar of Walfo's platform is spam. I could've phrased that better.
Walfo desires to do three things: to create new posts to help modcomm, which they declare to be
"overwhelmed"; to have a channel created in Eurocord for peeps to report spammers in; and for an inter-regional symposium to be held to discuss means of limiting and combating spam.
While I see spam to be a problem that indeed needs dealt with, I take issue with all three aspects of Walfo's answer:
1. This, as rightly pointed out by someone (and I can't remember who), would be in effect creating more commissioners. What is more, ModComm is not "overwhelmed". It is certainly too Byzantine to act swiftly, but that is an issue not addressed by appointing more people - if anything, adding people to "help modcomm" would make things worse. During the debate, Walfo elaborated slightly - his vision appears to be for them to be elected positions, which he says would
"run and watch the spam channel", but would not themselves be listed as government members in the WFE. I cannot see a good reason for this - unless Modcomm is changed dramatically, these new posts would be powerless to do anything until Modcomm had voted, in which case Modcomm would already have dealt with it. Walfo is welcome to elaborate further in his campaign dispatch, but unless I'm misinterpreting their words entirely, then this would add unnecessary positions, which would require unnecessary elections. In short, I cannot see how this could be anything but a waste of time for all involved.
2. A new channel in Eurocord. I would ask, why is #public-enquiry insufficient? There appears to me no reason to add another channel for reporting spam when we already have one that is used for this purpose. During the debate, Sicily questioned the need for a new reporting system, to which Walfo responded that there is no issue with the current one, but that it needs to be "larger." Take from that what you will.
3. A spam symposium. I do not see why an inter-regional event should be held for something which is more suited to a single discussion. The only successful events of this sort I am aware of are TNP's "WA Symposiums", which feature numerous debates about many different subjects relating to the World Assembly, from ever-divisive quorum-raiding to the alleged "lemming effect". Spam is not something which could be discussed in such a variety of ways as this, and could not sustain such a large event. Assuming, instead, that this "conference" would be a much smaller affair -
"I also am currently putting in the works a conference to be created to discuss spam as a NS community. Representatives from major regions will meet and share ways they combat spam, and work together to find new more efficient ideas for the good of the future of NS." - my question would shift to "why would they want to discuss it?" I've bounced around quite a few of the major regions in the past, and most of them seem to take the angle of "ban the spammer as quickly as possible" - except for TRR, which doesn't have that luxury and contacts the site mods instead. I don't think there'd be much beyond that for the other regions to say.

Moving on from the present, the ever-wonderful Walfo (unlike the lovely Libertandonien) has an electoral history, so we shall now at our leisure peruse that.
They preciously ran as part of the SDU, a party dedicated to the annihalation of spam. Recently, this was disbanded following the revelation that members of the party were themselves spammers. I'm not entirely sure how a revelation that someone's a spammer works, but whatever, ig. Their previous election race saw them dab out midway through in favour of KoD, in line with their "political alliance". If I was a good journalist, I'd trawl through the RMB to re-read the campaigning, but I can't be bothered.

So yeah. My impression of Walfo is the same as I gave of Ansker and Alienage (hahahahahahaha nothing like giving someone the benefit of the doubt and being wrong), in that they could potentially make a beautiful commissioner in future - they certainly have the dedication. However, I dislike almost all their policies, and do not believe that if they were to implement them, it would be good for the region. BUT WHAT DO I KNOW I'M NOT AN ELECTOR

Walfo made a reply, which I've addressed in a separate dispatch Linkhere.


Sicilian Imperial-Capitalist Empire

I would appreciate it if Sicily could give me a campaign dispatch to shred.
But they haven't, so I guess I'll just go with whatever they said in the debate. Which was surprigingly intelligent.
They repeated a couple times that what peeps are more interested in is the implementation, rather than the word, of the law.
I agree with this entirely - or at least it should be true. Europe's moderation system doesn't give enough room for common sense - which I believe is something that needs amending far more than the number of government officials, or the specifics of how to report stuff.
I can't see anything else that could constitute a Sicilian platform, so ig apart from what they said in the debate, it's anyone's guess what they'll do if they win. I prefer a candidate that provides me stuff to complain about, but apparently that's not happening. 7/10 probs a solid candidate but would like to know what they're actually wanting to do as commish.

You can tell I'm getting tired and putting less effort in lol


St Scarlett

The resident Thatcherite has stumbled upon the same problem Mrs Thatcher did: being too familiar.
However, she's vastly more experienced than any other candidate, and has been a solid 1st Deputy Commissioner for a nonconsecutive total of 2 years. I'd been under the impression until last election that she couldn't lose, but apparently not - she said in the debate that this was due to her leniency, and that in future she intends to accept the region's desire for a firmer hand from modcomm.
I don't think I've got much else to say here? She said she doesn't like pineapple pizza, but ig that's not really an issue here.

I'm biased. Fight me.


Libertandonien: "A commish shall not be judged by the number of his endorsements, but by his character."
Walfo: "I am back to gain my position."
Sicily: "A vote for me is a vote completely thrown away."
Scarlett: "I'm the red one."

Other European Stuff

I have literally nothing I can be bothered talking about here.

Reminder to all you darlings that all of this is my opinion. Attack it, not me.
You have been reading: Nov uses too many commas.
Luv y'all.
And if you actually managed to read all of this, congrats. Your attention span is longer than mine.

The previous issue of the Novgorodian Druzhına may be found here.

The toxic wasteland of my Druzhyna is but a reflection of my heart.

And if you're using dark mode, you have no soul.