by Max Barry

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by The Divine Intervention of Azaelai. . 66 reads.


Carl the Skeleton watches from above as the Hawks set out on their mission.

The Carl Chronicles.

In the beginning, Carl created NationStates. Now NationStates was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface, and the Spirit of Carl was hovering over the waters.

And Carl said let there be two updates. And there was two updates. Carl saw this was good, and called one update minor and one update major.

Then Carl said "let there be Absolute Update [redacted for the dispatch]". And there was Absolute Update [redacted for the dispatch]. And Carl saw this was good, and called this variance.


Now we could cover all the stories from The Carl Chronicles, but these were all stories that we learned in Sunday School. So let's get to some of the stories that you may not know.

One of these stories was when Carl came across a group of raiders calling themselves the Black Hawks. The Black Hawks were an odd bunch. They talked about liquid dog. They believed in J. They held up little yellow men as deities. They were a misguided community, but they weren't lost to the ways of Carl.

Carl decided to visit these hawks. He came down to their nest from his ceiling fan in the sky. From his observations, he was expecting them to welcome him. After all, he was a talking skeleton. Instead the hawks were hostile. They threatened to steal his kneecaps. They threatened to dye his hair ginger. They told him he was not, as Baedan would say, "poggers".

This angered Carl immensely. Carl was the most "poggers" skeleton to exist. Whether he was living in the closet of a closeted lesbian, living on a ceiling fan above the m o r t a l s, or scaring small children on accident (skeletons are scary sometimes on accident ;-;), he was a Based:tm: skeleton.

Carl decided that the hawks must pay for their transgressions. They would either need to go out on a raid to promote the good word of Carl, or sacrifice the kneecaps of all the baby hawks for the next three months. While the Arkansas and Michigan Dumbasses had no problems with some kneecap sacrifice, for the greater good they set out on a raid. They invited their allies in The Joint Task Force, in Lily, and in 3 Guys to come worship Carl The Great Skeleton with them.

93 Places With Proper Carl Worship:

0527 blue duck
Among us
Bad flags region
Buffalo canada states
Canastralian union
Cascos de rolha
Christs church
Combine world
Danganaruto piece bizarre rp i inne
Der bund der preussen
East carroll
East west prosperity pact
Europan continent
Galactic socialist republic
Game region
Gardner dam
Giga federation
Great remor
International socialism
Interregional industries
Isles of stationaria
Just looking for effect line because noy
Kayden region
Land of abisa
Lead and zinc alliance
Mobile suit depot
My ns nations
New cland
New polcampia
New worcester empire
Nordic countries
North europe germany
North europe germany
Northern peoples democratic alliance
Qwerty qwem dot com
Roadkill county
Sefta union
South american prosperity alliance
The 15th
The allies mynal sectors
The bordelian coast
The commonwealth federation
The cool boys
The diamond alliance
The divided unity of nations
The free alliance
The fridge
The frozen wastes of northrend
The furrest
The great age
The great sanctus regionem
The holy land of the bringard
The new galaxy
The phoenix nest
The republican kingdoms of europe
The union of bob saget
The united liberal imperialistic faction
The university union of nationstates
The western fertile lands
Transatlantic treaty of defense
Union of soviet socialists states
Victorian era rp
Visionia galaxy
Warden legion
Western fields
Your moms house

The Enlightened:
The Black Hawks
Colonel Miss Bad Life Choices, High Priestess
Sergeant Miravana, High Priest

Lieutenant Drexlore
Sergeant Sakana
Sergeant Zizou
Corporal Baedan
Private First Class Marine command
Private First Class Wascoitan

Supreme Command Frenchy II

Joint Task Force
CDR Gibraltarica

3 Guys
The Chariot, Guy 1

And Carl saw this was good. And all was right with The Black Hawks and Carl. They had many adventures together before Carl finally returned to his ceiling fan in the sky, but that's another story for another time.