by Max Barry

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DispatchFactbookMiscellaneous

by The Seperatist Democracy of Bruxxa. . 49 reads.

Paranoia

One thing that I know is that I am often irrational. I jump to radical decisions without hesitation. This knowledge leads me to wonder: is it my fault that my legacy has fallen? Did I push them into their position? Since the beginning, when I was cast out by Slavaryia (who has since been cast out himself), I was thrust into leadership. And for a time, I held my empire in a state of peace and friendship. I even went so far as to create the now desecrated regional triumvirate, which, might I add, was never formally disbanded. Those like Haruhi Japan, Baloo Kingdom, and even... Lada were quick to rally behind me, and from that I formed a legacy that is yet to be forgotten. But in my rage at actions outside of my control, in a life beyond Bruxxa, beyond nationstates, I cast out those loyal to me and gave up my empire, instead handing it off to Haruhi Japan. In fact, my subjects were loyal enough to deny me, at first, the comfort of them leaving for somewhere I deemed best. But in anger at their loyalty, which was very foolish of me, I drove them out even further, banning them from the tavern, their home. I regret that now. After those events, I found myself wandering, trying to find a purpose. I failed. And so I tricked back to nationstates, assuring myself that there were those still loyal to me. I convinced myself that nothing had changed. The problem was, things had changed. Loyalty tends to shatter when you are unwanted, and those such as Barrow Cove deny my friendship even now, electing to pretend that I do not exist. This is a great regret of mine, though I do not blame those who have left me behind. However, those that were once my subjects now find themselves the subjects of those that do not recognize the ideals of my people. They are not a tavernian. Thus, I chose to impose a new verdict: there is no more legacy. And yet I feel hollow, as I feel that this whole scandal, all of the scandals, spawned from my decision to forsake those that called me friend. Was it right for me to leave? Was it right to walk away in such a bad Manor? These are the questions I as myself often, and these are the questions I will never know the answer to. I live in paranoia and guilt I've my past, and nothing can change that. Not even me.

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