How to RP Like an Actual Human Being

Welcome to this tragically necessary guide on how to engage in roleplay (RP) without making everyone around you consider an impromptu hiatus. If you're reading this, you likely fall into one of three categories:

• You're new and need guidance (adorable, i shall educate you).

• You've committed an RP atrocity and were lovingly directed here by your peers (congratulations, you're that guy).

• You enjoy my delightful wit and simply want a laugh (excellent taste, carry on).

Whatever your reason, read the guide. Absorb its wisdom. Become less of a menace to society.

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Roleplaying in NationStates is collaborative storytelling where you pretend to be a country. Yes, that's right, you, a person who probably struggles to manage their own sleep schedule, are now responsible for an entire nation. God help them.

Some take it seriously, crafting rich lore with nuance. Others name their leader 'Big Daddy Supreme' and immediately declare war on Belgium. Both approaches are, in their own way, a cry for help.

Before you even think about writing your first RP post, take a deep breath and repeat after me:

'I am not the most important person in the world. My nation is not the greatest thing to ever exist since sliced bread. Other players exist.'

If this concept distresses you, I recommend stepping outside and experiencing the revolutionary concept known as 'other humans.'

Read the Room (or the Thread) Before Charging In
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Nothing ruins an otherwise decent RP faster than someone showing up uninvited and dropping a 5,000-word monologue about their ultra-futuristic space empire in a medieval fantasy setting. Before posting, read what others have written. Skim at the very least. No, really. It's not that hard.

Godmodding: The Art of Making Everyone Hate You
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Godmodding is when your nation or character is inexplicably invincible, omniscient, or otherwise immune to logic, reason, and consequences. Nobody likes the guy whose army is invincible, whose economy has infinite money, and whose leader is a mix of Batman, Sun Tzu, He-Man and Jesus. Play fair.

Metagaming: How to Look Like a Total Amateur
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Just because you read someone's secret war plans doesn't mean your character knows it. If your leader is reacting to classified information they had no way of obtaining, you're metagaming, and everyone now knows you lack basic self-control.

Not Every Nation Is the Size of Russia
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You are not a global superpower unless you've actually put in the effort to build a believable history, economy, and military. Slapping 'My nation has 500 million active troops and a Death Star' into your factbook means nothing. Try again.

The Economy Is a Thing. A Very Important Thing.
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If your nation is 'totally self-sufficient' while importing nothing and producing everything, you have just invented a magical fairyland. Nations have trade, inflation, and logistics to deal with, ignoring those makes your RP about as realistic as a Michael Bay movie.

Your People Are Not Mindless Drones
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No, your citizens are not 100% loyal, 100% happy, and 100% efficient. They have grievances, politicians argue, and revolts happen. If your RP never acknowledges domestic unrest, corruption or political opposition, then you are RPing a dystopian nightmare, whether you meant to or not.

Logistics Win Wars, Not Cool Tanks
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It doesn't matter if your army has the best tanks in the world if you can't fuel them, repair them, or transport them where they need to go. Wars are won by supply chains, not just by who has the most anime-inspired battleships.

Nukes Are Not Pokémon
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Nukes are not the 'I win' button that some players think they are. Using them without any thought for diplomatic repercussions, MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction), or basic human decency will result in nobody taking you seriously ever again.

No, You Cannot Shoot Down Everything
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A common mistake among new RPers is assuming that their 'perfect' missile defense system will always work. In reality, missile defense is difficult, expensive, and not foolproof. If someone launches 100 ICBMs at you and you claim to intercept every single one… yeah, no.

Not Every Disagreement Leads to War
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If every minor diplomatic spat with your nation results in full-scale war, you are doing it wrong. Real-life diplomacy involves negotiation, trade agreements, and alliances, not just 'You insulted my leader's cat, PREPARE FOR TOTAL ANNIHILATION!'

You Are Not the Center of the Universe
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Other players nations are just as important as yours. If your diplomacy consists of treating every other country as either an enemy or a vassal state, expect to be ignored or outright ridiculed.

Not Every Nation Will Like You
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If you RP as an isolationist dictatorship, don't expect hugs from democratic nations. Play the role, but don't whine when people treat your nation accordingly.

If It Sounds Stupid, It Probably Is
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If your leader is somehow a 15-year-old warlord with an IQ of 300 who single-handedly united the world under one flag, just… no. No. No.

Please, for the Love of Everything that's Holy, Use Punctuation.
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Sentences exist for a reason. If your RP post looks like a chaotic wall of text with no breaks, commas or capitalization, people will not read it. And no, 'it's just my style' is not an excuse for making people's eyes bleed.

Third-Person, Past Tense – Use It
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Unless you're doing first-person RP for a very specific reason, stick to third-person past tense. It's the standard for most RPs.

Show, Don't Tell
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Instead of writing, 'The Supreme Leader was very scary,' write, 'As the Supreme Leader entered the room, even the generals instinctively straightened their backs, their eyes darting away from his gaze.' See? More engaging!

Dialogue Is Important
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Imagine a real conversation. Would a human actually say what you just typed? If not, rewrite it. Unless your character is an alien diplomat struggling with basic English, in which case, go nuts.

Quality Over Quantity
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A long post is not automatically a good post. If you just wrote 3,000 words describing your character's breakfast but forgot to move the plot forward, please rethink your life choices.

Battleships in the 21st Century
Despite the fact that battleships have been obsolete since World War II, some players insist on RPing them as the pinnacle of naval warfare. In reality, they're giant, expensive targets that modern aircraft, submarines and missiles would turn into scrap metal within minutes. There's a reason why actual militaries don't use them.

Nukes for Every Problem
Disagreement with another nation? Nuke them. Trade deal didn't go your way? Nuke them. Someone has bad breath? Nuke them.
Here's a reality check: The moment you start flinging nukes around like confetti, expect everyone to either laugh at you or ignore your RP entirely.

Stealth Everything
Some nations claim to have completely undetectable stealth bombers, fighters, submarines and even tanks (somehow). In reality, stealth technology reduces detection range but doesn't make things invisible. If your entire military is 'undetectable,' congratulations, you're writing bad science fiction.

Super Soldiers
For some reason, every nation's military must have elite warriors that make Navy SEALs look like mall cops. These troops are:

• Practically unstoppable in combat.

• Equipped with insane, ultra-futuristic gear.

• Apparently unlimited in number, despite being 'elite'

In reality, special forces are small, highly trained units, not entire armies of terminators.

Every Nation Is a Superpower
If every nation in your RP has 500 nukes, 20 carriers, and a GDP greater then the U.S., you've broken any sense of scale. Superpowers are rare. Be realistic about your nation's capabilities or embrace being the underdog.

Air Forces With 10,000 Fighter Jets
Your nation's air force has 10,000 state-of-the-art stealth fighters? Where are you storing them? Who's maintaining them? Do you have an unlimited budget? Modern fighter jets are expensive to build and maintain, most real-world superpowers only operate a few hundred at best. If you're fielding thousands, you might as well say they run on magic.

Superhuman Leaders
Your leader is not a 19-year-old genius warlord economist diplomat inventor gigachad who single-handedly rules with an iron fist while also being universally beloved. Real leaders make mistakes, have flaws, and rely on advisors. If your head of state is a flawless demigod, they're not a character, they're a self-insert power fantasy.

Invincible Economies
Your nation has zero unemployment, no inflation, infinite resources, and never experiences economic crises? That's not worldbuilding, that's fantasy. Every real-world economy has fluctuations, recessions and trade dependencies. Ignoring these makes your RP as believable as a Saturday morning cartoon.

Space Empires… in a Modern-Day Setting
If your nation has faster-than-light travel, intragalactic colonies and god-tier technology, why are you even talking to Earth-bound nations? What do you want from these primitive beings? Shouldn't you be off conquering the universe instead of arguing over trade agreements with medieval kingdoms?

To determine whether your roleplay is actually good, ask yourself the following:

• Would real people act like this?

• If I were someone else, would I actually enjoy reading my posts?

• Does my country make sense, or have I just thrown together a bunch of tropes?

• Am I allowing other players to have fun or am I just treating this like my personal fanfiction?

If you can pass this test, congratulations! You may just be on your way to not being an RP disaster.

At the end of the day, RP is about fun. If your actions make the game less fun for others, reconsider them. If you're unsure whether something is fair, ask.

Follow these tips, and you'll be well on your way to RPing like an actual human being, or at least a very convincing one.

Now go forth and RP responsibly!