by Max Barry

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by Kristalmaan. . 8 reads.

Issue Roundup 4/26

The Issue

Big business, fed up with over-regulation in Kristalmaan, are heading offshore in ever-increasing numbers.

Accepted Position

"Good riddance!" says noted environmentalist Al Khan. "Sniff that air! It's never been so clean! At last, our society is freeing itself from the consumer death-trap! I say it's time to take the final step and outlaw capitalism once and for all!"

Result

All industry is owned and run by the government.
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The Issue

The late-night, alcohol-fuelled marriage and subsequent annulment of pop starlet Dipsy Bubbleyum has been thoroughly condemned by tabloid presses across the country. There is now a growing call for some restraints to be put on Kristalmaan's liberal marriage laws.

Accepted Position

"This could all be solved quite easily," says Anne-Marie Shiomi, a tee-totaler. "With a little common sense. These marriages happen because the bride and groom are inebriated, right? So obviously we should make applicants pass a sobriety test before they can be issued a marriage licence. If you're too drunk to drive, you're too drunk to get hitched."

Result

The breathalyser pledge is a traditional part of marriages in Kristalmaan.
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The Issue

An enterprising Moon-Touched citizen has begun manufacturing matryoshka dolls of legendary pop star Jack Michaelson without his permission. In response, his management company has been spectacularly persistent in demanding royalties from the dolls' sales. Contract lawyers, dressed as zombies and petitioning with uncanny rhythm, are camped around the clock outside of the capitol. Tired of the incessant pop music, you have sat down to negotiate a solution.

Accepted Position

"I'm thrilled to finally settle this problem," says Jack Michaelson while moonwalking back and forth in your office, "You see, the matryoshka manufacturers are exploiting my likeness without my permission. That's theft unless I get a cut. Anyone who disagrees can just beat it." The pop star exits with his pet monkey in tow.

Result

The nation's image rights are the strictest in the world.
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Accepted Position

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Result

y
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Kristalmaan

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