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by Kristalmaan. . 10 reads.

Issue Roundup 5/22

The Issue

Increasing reports of child abuse and neglect in Kristalmaan has prompted local pressure groups to call for 'parental licences'.

Accepted Position

"The answer to this problem is patently obvious," says Fleur Han, your Minister of Social Welfare. "The government simply needs to give more funding to the welfare department so that we can recruit more social workers to carry out regular checks on parents and judge whether or not they're doing a good job of looking after their children. It'll be expensive, but at least it's a damn sight fairer than licensing parents."

Result

Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof.
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The Issue

The pride of Kristalmaan's national swimming team, Tim Cho, recently acknowledged that his parents had him circumcised when he was younger for "aerodynamic purposes". This has caused considerable debate throughout the Matriarchy, and people have taken to ambushing you while you're out for your evening meal.

Accepted Position

"Hey now, there is room for compromise," interjects Ruby Jefferson, a cosmetic surgeon at a nearby table, as she pockets a butter knife to add to her collection. "You see, we could ban all elective surgical procedures until a certain age, and then let the patients themselves make informed decisions on whether they want these procedures or not. It will take some extra funding to actually teach kids about different surgeries, to be sure, but that should have no negative effects on the population. I hope. Nonetheless, you can't put a price on informed decisions!"

Result

Teenagers performing appendectomies on their friends has become a popular schoolyard prank.
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The Issue

Investigative journalist Hillary Johnson has published a damning critique of Kristalmaan's mental health facilities after spending ten days undercover as a psychiatric patient in Crystal Tokyo State Asylum. Her report details abuse, incompetence and negligence, and has led to angry clamors for reform of how the system is managed.

Accepted Position

"These hospitals are being run like prisons!" belts irate social worker Clint Hernandez as he slams down a copy of the article on your desk. "Patients are treated like inmates; their rooms are like cells, and these antiquated 'treatments' redefine barbaric! Something must be done!" He pauses for a moment to regain his composure. "We need to completely revamp the state of mental health treatment in this country. Let's start by convening a meeting of all the world's leading psychiatrists - put up at our expense, of course - and then build a new specialist care facility in every town in Kristalmaan."


Result

Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist.
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The Issue

Scientists using cloned human embryos for research are on the verge of a medical breakthrough.

Accepted Position

"It's really very exciting," says lab head Virginia Levy. "Until now, we've kept very quiet, to avoid being targeted by lunatic fringe groups who for some reason think it's wrong to clone human embryos. It's too early to promise anything, but we hope that one day we will have genetic cures for a whole range of debilitating illnesses. I certainly hope the government will support our work."

Result

Scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes.
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The Issue

A small nameless nation within your sphere of influence has gone on a genocidal rampage within its own borders, ridding itself of what their Supreme Ruler For All Eternity, Emperor Pete O'Bannon, refers to as 'those filthy Bigtopians'. Some escaped refugees are requesting that your government do something to end the slaughter of millions.

Accepted Position

"They're killing everyone!" gasps Hillary Hendrikson, one of the refugees. "I implore you to please intervene and stop this murder of my people! If Kristalmaan has any compassion at all then it must help us! With these madmen out of power we can finally go about rebuilding our nation as a land of justice and freedom!"

Result

Kristalmaan has been recently classified as an international menace after 'liberating' several nearby territories.

Kristalmaan

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