by Max Barry

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DispatchMetaReference

by Kristalmaan. . 6 reads.

Issue roundup 6/6

The Issue

After a slow news week, one of your aides brought to your attention the controversy surrounding Violetstone National Park. Well-known Information Technology tycoon, Edward Rump, recently revealed proposals to purchase the land and intends to carve the faces of former leaders into Mount Rushless, a site revered by many Native Kristalians.

Accepted Position

"Neo-Queen Serenity, have you no respect for our sacred lands?" asks Runs With Rabbit, Chief of the Violetstone tribe. "My people have lived in these lands for countless generations and now you are going to desecrate them? Even worse, you plan to honor imperialist monsters who slaughtered our ancestors? The government should be apologizing for those atrocities, not celebrating the butchers behind them. Neo-Queen Serenity, these are our lands, not yours. Our home is not a tourist attraction. You must respect that. Our people have suffered enough."

Result

Tourists are forbidden to enter Native Moon-Touched lands.
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The Issue

A group of prominent business identities has proposed privatizing Kristalmaan's beaches.

Accepted Position

"Have you been to the beach lately? It's disgusting," says company spokesperson Brian Barnes. "There's litter, there's teenagers smoking, and there are people enjoying themselves without paying for it. Let the private sector in on this, and Kristalmaan's beaches will be the talk of the region! And a nice little earner, too."

Result

Citizens must pay to enjoy Kristalmaan's pristine beaches.
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The Issue

After their daughter wandered off into the woods behind her house, a pair of teary-eyed parents interrupts one of your meetings, beseeching you to step up the rescue effort.

Accepted Position

"Search teams are just too inefficient," says Ivan Pushkin, CEO of Eye See You Surveillance. "Thousands of citizens searching high and low with no promise of success. Now what we need to do is implant GPS tracking devices into all citizens. Think about it! No more lost kids, no more fugitives, no more alibis. No need to ask where you were on the night of February 7th. We already know."

Result

Fearful citizens watch their every move as does their government.
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The Issue

A group of environmentalists are protesting against plans to expand urban and suburban developments into greenbelts, the designated countryside between settlements.

Accepted Position

"I can't believe what I'm hearing!" exclaims environmental activist May King. "Tree museums? Police funding? Don't it always seem to be the case that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? We're talking about natural treasures and you're talking about destroying them. Is there anything that you can build that can really be better than nature? We should put a stop to all encroachment into natural areas. Think about it for a moment!"

Result

There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt.
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The Issue

A recent broadsheet special on the children of other leaders in The North Pacific has brought attention to the lack of children in your own residence. Mindful of your dipping approval, some of your advisors have begun to wonder if some popularity could be won back by having a kid or two.

Accepted Position

"This is a golden PR opportunity," exclaims Lucas Licorish, representing Moral Minority. "Imagine: you'd be the wise family figure. Think how much the people will love your new baby. You'll be the epitome of family values leading everyone into domestic bliss. And think of the merchandising! I mean, think of the children."

Result

Tabloids coo over Neo-Queen Serenity's expected child.

Kristalmaan

Edited:

RawReport