Super Procyon Science Diet™ details announced.

The The Bierands has been abuzz about the rumors of a Super Procyon Science Diet™ leaking from the government's drafty windows on Capitol Mountain. Some citizens are thrilled that the raccoon may soon have an optimized diet whose production is subsidized by the federal government. Others are concerned that the raccoons may come to rely on the morsels for all of their sustenance, arguing that if a crisis hits The The Bierands preventing production of SPSD™, the dependent raccoons will experience mass starvation. Others argue that the government is going too far, facilitating an unsustainable raccoon population boom that will only worsen the existing raccoon break-in plague.

The Green House gave an official statement on Monday regarding SPSD™. The Great Leader™'s spokesperson stated that SPSD™ is still in development and is set to launch in November. Development is being led by Lotor James, a leader in sustainable agriculture, Abigail Jacobson, a noted raccoon dietician, and Eshtn Jberns, a scientist of foreign origin whose work is undisclosed. According to the spokesperson, SPSD™ is a nutritionally optimized raccoon kibble to be placed in mentally-stimulating feeder toys throughout the cities and towns of The The Bierands, where bugs, small rodents, fish, and other natural raccoon prey species are harder to find to support the growing population of raccoons.

The spokesperson stressed that the new food is not meant to encourage population growth, but rather to offer raccoons an alternative to breaking into citizens' houses and stealing Jell-O out of their refrigerators. Reports of such break-ins have been on the rise, and the spokesperson claimed that the introduction of SPSD™ in conjunction with installment of puzzle boxes, jigsaws puzzles, dedicated raccoon escape rooms, and other mentally stimulating activities around the nation for the raccoons will ultimately lead to eradication of such masked robberies.