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Underworld Law & Order - Episode 9
“I am the Senate”

🎶 Intro music 🎶

Last time on...

Dozens of knives struck downward into the victims body, this was premeditated attack, the wanted the innocent victims to suffer.

Sir 307 staggers back bleeding profusely.

“T-traitors and conspirators! All of you!”

He’s crawling on the floor, wet toga leaving a behind a crimson trail.

“Brutus! I name you Brutus, Worm, as my most trusted friend! My greatest minion ally! We were brothers Anak- I mean Worm!

They circle around him. Closer and closer, dagger raised high

“I curse you! All of you fiends to spe-

- COMMERCIAL BREAK -

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The Worm and Johnson observe the corpse laying below them. Suddenly the one known Worm places a finger to his earpiece.

“It has been done Lord Demonos. 307 is dead. Again.” He says.

“How does it feel?” the diabolical sounding voice of Lord Demonos asks.

The Worm doesn’t answer. The rain begins to fall.

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Outro Music - Sad sounding music

The PsychoHistory Channel Presents: The Assassination of Julius 307

🎶 cheesy melodramatic music 🎶

"Tonight on 'The PsychoHistory Channel Presents,' we take a look at one of the most pivotal moments in the history of Southern Civilization: the assassination of Julius 307 at the hands of one of his closest companions, Wyrmus Brutus."

[Low-quality Dramatic Reenactment]

🎭 Someone lurks in the shadows of a white marble corridor - The glint of light from off a knife is just visible for a moment - A stately man in a flamboyant toga walks down the hall with ambition in his eye - Someone shouts for the stately man's attention from down the hall, and the figure in the shadows retreats further into the gloom 🎭

[Talking Head]

'Brutus was an honourable man.' This is stated repeatedly by Mark Antony in the play Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare.

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.

However, to read a bit below the surface, you will notice in Antony's words a hint of insincerity. Statement and intention do not align, here. He would, through his words, condemn Brutus without coming out and stating it directly. For political expediency, of course. As all of Antony's acts are so motivated.

Dante, in his "Inferno," would place poor Brutus in the center-most position in the depths of Hell. Alongside none other than Judas himself in the final ring reserved for traitors against one's masters.

Of those two others, with their heads beneath,
the one who hangs from that black snout is Brutus—
see how he writhes and does not say a word!

And so, we see, on two separate occasions and within two Great Works, Brutus is finding himself condemned for his actions. Julius 307 would appear vindicated, no? Perhaps. Perhaps not. We shall see, later after-

[Low-quality Dramatic Reenactment]

🎭 A stately man in a flamboyant toga rushes beneath a white marble archway - a figure waits for him, and the two huddle close in conspiratorial conversation - something shifts, wrongly, beneath their togas, and green tentacle emerge, passing a vague piece of Alien Phlebotinum between them - Someone watches all of this from the shadows, a faint glint of reflected light picked up by the camera 🎭

[Talking Head with Outlandish Hair]

What we know now, looking backward from the vantage of the post-Great Xenos War reality in which we all now live, is that Julius 307 was an alien. One of the Alien Vanguard, to be precise, who are tasked with preparing the planet for the actual, later invasion. Sort of 'softening' the world and easing any would-be resistance.

Wyrmus Brutus, together with Cassius Demonus, saved all of humanity on that day they pulled daggers from out beneath their cloaks and brought them down upon Julius 307. Had the invasion occurred during that period of history, humanity would not have been able to resist at their then-level of technology. That those Xenos returned to a post-Atomic world, rather than a post-Classical one, is due to those heroic deeds performed by those heroic men.

[Low-quality Dramatic Reenactment]

🎭 Two men in humble togas stand above a mess of green slime and severed tentacles - one tentacle faintly flops with dumb electrical residuals - A crowd slowly assembles around them, looks of horror on their faces and repugnance in their stomachs - Somewhere a child softly weeps - Somewhere a man weeps openly

"If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of
Caesar's, to him I say, that Brutus' love to Caesar
was no less than his. If then that friend demand
why Brutus rose against Caesar, this is my answer:
--Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved
Rome more." 🎭

[Talking Head of Richard M. Nixon in a Jar]

'Beware the Ides of March,' a Soothsayer once bid Caesar. 'Beware the Ides of March.'

Caesar did not take that advice. On the day in question, seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he went and sought out the Soothsayer, exclaiming in a mocking tone:

'The ides of March are come.'

'Ay, Caesar,' replied the prophet. 'But not gone.'

Heed still those Ides. They have come but are still yet to pass. We stand beneath their sign in the heavens even now. These days, the Ides of March are always at hand, it would seem. This is the Age of the French. The Hour of the Gaul. Bring forth Madame Guillotine, once again. Seat her on that Throne of Royal Skulls and let her drink deeply of Bourgeois Blood. These are the Ides, and today, there are daggers hiding beneath every cloak.

What do I care? What are they going to do to me? Take my head?

*burbling laughter*

🎶 cheesy melodramatic music 🎶

Stay tuned to The PsychoHistory Channel for six straight hours of wild speculation about Adolf Hitler and aliens