The East PacificBoard

A long time ago in a land far far away from Star Wars and close to TEP...

A bunch of brothers (they were just friends but as good as brothers, because in this post-modern world the meaning of family has to be flexible, you know) were kicked out of the ancient land that once housed the Stellar colonies.

They were naughty boys, you see. They made many offcolour jokes and silly pranks, they did not show 'respect' to the evil politicos who ran their little town. And that's why they were banished. Kicked out of the town by the people in control. The town came to see them off. All those nubile daughters and their suspicious mothers cried. All their fathers and brothers smiled with glee. The friends mooned the powers that be one last time, and walked out of the courtroom. For the last time

The eldest stood, a metre outside the boundary as the town stared on. He looked at the Mayor defiantly, and then turned away. He saw an empty liquor barrel, straightened it and stood on on top. He turned towards his audience, threw both his arms wide like a preacher and began:

'Today, is not a day for sorrow. Today is not a day for tears. Today is not the last day we live in that crappy place for troglodytes and ingrates with small hands.'

'Well it is that day, but it's not just that.'

'Today is the first day of our journey to freedom. The moment we change the world. We'll find a better place, gentlemen. We've all heard there is a place across this desert where manna falls from the heavens. Where tasty morsels both feed your hunger and quench your thirst. A place where beauty abounds and mirth wears yoga pants and the life sucks on unending rainbow lollipops with a chewy centre.'

'A place where people can be naughty and haughty and rude. A place where men are men and women are women and the sheep are perpetually nervous. A place where merit is all that takes you to the top, and everything stops you from staying there so you can't pee on the rest of us and have the wee run downhill. I have a dream. No-' he said, and raised his hand, and pointed at his brothers..'

'We have a Dream. Let's get to it!' He jumped off his stage and the brothers began to walk away. The town girls and women began to bawl, some of the young men began to clap till they saw the glares from the Mayor and his posse, and put their hands away.

The brothers walked and walked. The desert never stopped. They went from exuberant to happy, from happy to motivated, from motivated to struggling to keep the worry away, from struggling to lying to themselves. And they kept looking for their Dream.

11 days in, they were dying in the heat, walking towards nowhere, with nothing in front or behind them but a huge field that was earmarked to be their graveyard.

His younger brothers had given up hope. The oldest brother, soldiered walked when he couldn't run, accompanied only by the vultures overhead, accompanying him. Giving him shelter from the sun with their shadow. Waiting for him to die.

He walked when he couldn't run. He hobbled when he couldn't walk. He crawled when he couldn't hobble. The sun burned one cheek as he lay on the scorched ground. The thirsty blade of stray grass that rose thru crack in the earth tickled him. The sun burned one side of his face and the ground the other

He could hear voices calling to him as he lay across the hard, unforgiving ground in the middle of nowhere.. He could hear the vultures landing. Their shadows swept around him, round and round like a a black incorporeal whirlpool. He felt them descend, squawking, on his legs. His back. The pecking had begun. On his face.

He closed his eyes and licked his lips.

Something felt good. Moisture flowed into his body. He opened his eyes in surprise. It was a grain of white kernel. He licked at it again. It was juicy, and sweet, and it was the best thing he had ever had in his life.

Another hit his face, and another. He bit and licked and chewed, insane with pain and pleasure. Life flowed into his veins. He kicked with his feet. Most of the vultures flew off but a couple were braver, and continued to peck. He felt a sting as the vulture on his leg put its beak into his flesh. He turned and grabbed it by its shocked neck, and wrung it. The popcorn was now falling like snow. He held his mouth open to the flood of chewy sugar filled happiness and laughed in joy.

He had been saved by the Blessed Corn 🍿.

'Right here. This right here, is Dreamersistan.'