by Max Barry

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*a sound greets this like the creaking of old wooden joints or the sighed protest of gears grinding into action after dormant years*

the wolves are met with a blanket of snow in a dark wood. a single streetlight illumines their play. there is nothing about the unfolding scene that would suggest what would later come.

The Wardrobe in the Spare Room wrote:*a sound greets this like the creaking of old wooden joints or the sighed protest of gears grinding into action after dormant years*

the wolves are met with a blanket of snow in a dark wood. a single streetlight illumines their play. there is nothing about the unfolding scene that would suggest what would later come.

Dat sounds very ominous.

Shark boy

Sharky and a few other sharks jump open the wardrobe and head in to see what they can find after hearing the wolves happy roars

Shark boy wrote:Sharky and a few other sharks jump open the wardrobe and head in to see what they can find after hearing the wolves happy roars

Wolfs don't roar! You haz dem confused wid tigers or someting. Wolfs howl! Dat's completely different.

Maybe someting else is roaring. Dat would be even more ominous.

By da way, how do dose sharks breade, anyway? Is dey wearing aerolungs?

Pigs Sheep and Wolves wrote:By da way, how do dose sharks breade, anyway? Is dey wearing aerolungs?

Maybe they're "sharks" in a different sense...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVspqShcXSA

:P

feels left out and trudges off to follow his friends through the wardrobe

Ah, it's brisk in here! I can actually see my breath! Finally, an environment where my wool coat will come in handy...

Shark boy

Pigs Sheep and Wolves wrote:Wolfs don't roar! You haz dem confused wid tigers or someting. Wolfs howl! Dat's completely different.

Maybe someting else is roaring. Dat would be even more ominous.

By da way, how do dose sharks breade, anyway? Is dey wearing aerolungs?

Is their much if a difference. But yes, if itís not you, itís ominous and worrying. As for your other question, our species has evolved to breathe in air and water.

Whose woods these are you think you know.
Her house is in the village, though;
She will not see you passing here
While all her woods fill up with snow.

snowflakes tumble from the canopy of trees. your steps crunch tracks through the snowfall. but they are not the only tracks in this wood, as prints follow the suggestion of a path running off into the night. the prints can only just be made out, the falling snow having worked hard to cover their owner's tracks. what might be a distant howl can be heard, though whether wind or beast is unclear.

AooooWWWooo-awwwrrrr-aoowrrufff!

No, I don't know where dey went or what's become of dem. I tought dey would be back by now.

But as you saw, some of our friends have followed dem in. I don't tink dere is too much to worry about. Even if dere is someting very dangerous in dere, like an Abdominal Snowman, I don't tink it's someting dat a bunch of wolfs, sharks and a rhino can't handle.

*comes crashing back out of the wardrobe like a runaway truck*

Snow! There's snow in there!

*throws snowballs at Pigs Sheep and Wolves before barreling back inside the wardrobe*

The Voice of ARB, Kate Walker, Shark boy, PR Samurai, and 1 otherAunt annas castle

Yesterday was Donut Friday. I went around to various corporate conference rooms and gathered up any and all leftovers. Also, I made yet another addition to the official dispatch, this time for Shark boy

Woolly Rhinoceros wrote:Yesterday was Donut Friday. I went around to various corporate conference rooms and gathered up any and all leftovers.

Tank you. Dis gives us someting to do while we worry about what is happening to da Wolfs in da Wardrobe. You know, Da Wolfs in da Wardrobe would make an excellent title for a Howard P Lovecraft story, don't you tink?

Pigs Sheep and Wolves wrote:Tank you. Dis gives us someting to do while we worry about what is happening to da Wolfs in da Wardrobe.

Nothing like food to help you through worry :) You should have seen me when all this pandemic went down...

Pigs Sheep and Wolves wrote:You know, Da Wolfs in da Wardrobe would make an excellent title for a Howard P Lovecraft story, don't you tink?

god, that is such a good title. It almost could be a comic from The Far Side that spoofs Lovecraft. Made me think of this one:

https://i.imgur.com/RXX5pHV.jpg

...I love The Far Side so much

The Voice of ARB, Kate Walker, and Shark boy

the snow continues to fall on the visitors from beyond the wardrobe. the tracks are now almost completely concealed by the snowfall, though just enough of a trace of them is left in order to tell that the approaching figure came from whence they traveled. this figure leaves tracks distinct from the others, as his steps are both smaller and hoofed. snowflakes dance betwixt twin horns protruding from his temples. an impish grin plays across his features, and only ceases to play such games in order to play a few notes from a set of pipes strung round his neck. the music is brusque but melodious, like a herald announcing an imminent eminence.

"Greetings, visitors, greetings one and all. I trust this evening finds you well? Do follow me, and I will show you the way."

The Wardrobe in the Spare Room wrote:

"Greetings, visitors, greetings one and all. I trust this evening finds you well? Do follow me, and I will show you the way."

AaaoooooowwooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooh!

Pigs Sheep and Wolves wrote:AaaoooooowwooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooh!

*rattles head back and forth*

Wolves are so very loud.

Should we follow? I am fine with simply going back, if you'd like. But I will also follow along, should you so prefer...

Woolly Rhinoceros wrote:*rattles head back and forth*

Wolves are so very loud.

Should we follow? I am fine with simply going back, if you'd like. But I will also follow along, should you so prefer...

It sounded to me like dey tought dey had found a friend. You must have wolf-sensitive ears; I could barely hear dem. I tink you should go back. We haven't heard from dem sharks at all, and if dis ting wid da horns and pipes is friendly, dey might need to be dissuaded from attacking it.

Pigs Sheep and Wolves wrote:We haven't heard from dem sharks at all, and if dis ting wid da horns and pipes is friendly, dey might need to be dissuaded from attacking it.

Mmm, fine point, fine point. Surely allowing sharks and wolves to attack a new guest would be poor hospitality...mustn't allow that.

'course, who's the guest and who's the host when you're lost in a strange wood together? Maybe you carry about you're own home on your back like a snail, in a sense and if you will, and so each is host and guest at once?

Anyways, best be getting back now.

What has become of our wolfs dere? Are dey lost? Has someting eaten dem? Dem sharks say dey is our friends, but dey looks dangerous to me. And what about dat ting wid da horns? I tink someting has gone very wrong. I would go in after dem, but we has no jurisdiction dere, and we don't want to cause an international incident!

*trudges back through the Wardrobe and into the snowy wood*

*takes a moment to dive headlong in a snowbank and roll over and over in the fine powder*

*gets up and shakes away the snow from his fur in a great white cloud, before continuing on to find the sharks and the wolves*

Shark boy

Woolly Rhinoceros wrote:*trudges back through the Wardrobe and into the snowy wood*

*takes a moment to dive headlong in a snowbank and roll over and over in the fine powder*

*gets up and shakes away the snow from his fur in a great white cloud, before continuing on to find the sharks and the wolves*

*The sharks join in.*

ďSuch children.Ē


canine and ungulate and gilled-ones, alike, follow the horned piper through the wood. light seems to emanate from him, almost like an aura, for you can follow his glow as he prances ahead, just as well as you can follow his tracks in the snow. falling ice crystals shimmer in his bestial phosphorescence, and tiny rainbows dance in their wake. a clearing appears in the wood up ahead, a meadow bathed in moonlight from the breach in the canopy above. in the center of the glade, a cleft in the earth opens obliquely, deeper than the moonlight can reveal. and some clever creature has carved rough-hewn stairs that spiral downward into the darkness below.

"Come, new friends. It's just down this spiral staircase, it be. Down, down, and a little to the left. But definitely down."

*he plays a few notes on his pipes before beginning the descent*

"Come if you wish to follow. Follow if you wish to see. See if I care, either way..."

I don't like dis. Staircases leading down into da ground like dat. It's unnatural. Dere is probly a minotaur or a pack of dem Orcs or sumting hiding down dere. I hope da wolfs and dem sharks is up to da challenge.

Pigs Sheep and Wolves wrote:I hope da wolfs and dem sharks is up to da challenge.

Me too. I may be big, but I'm a real softy when you get down to it.

Spiral staircases usually lead to royal ballrooms, in my experience...though, I will admit, they aren't usually built in bare earth like this...Maybe it's a ballroom for moles and groundhogs..?

The Voice of ARB, Kate Walker, and Shark boy

*From very very far away*

AaaoooooowwooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooh!

Kate Walker and Shark boy

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