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Rockemsockem wrote:hmm AI? i could put a small crew.. or have you help in the landing process?

It’s up to you

Velvets realm wrote:Greetings, I have written another short story-esque factbook about my nation's past chaotic political history, this time it's vaguely about how we deal with radicals when they step out of line. However, I am not quite unsure if this factbook is way too violent for NS standards and have to tone it down a little or delete it entirely. So, I would like to hear your opinions and leave a upvote if you liked my writing.

𝐈𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐦 𝐄𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐳

"A society that is tolerant without limits, will eventually have its ability to be tolerant seized and destroyed by the intolerant" - Karl Popper.

Fritz Braun has always clamored for a civil war, with every preceived threat (reforms) to the status-quo being always insisted as a civilization ending catastrophe. The fact the general media simply viewed him as a mostly harmless 'centre liberal' journalist just because he self-proclaims himself to be one is bizarrely baffling.

A popular cartoon show with its main cast majority comprising mostly of Faunus characters, and even Faunus voice actors? This is how Human civilization falls!

A history book detailing the past atrocities against both Humans and Faunus under the rule of former long-defunct empires? This is how Human civilization falls!

A game developer deciding to self-censor more explicit nudity in their games to improve their image to the general public? This is how Human civilization falls!

He receives six figures salary for malding and seething in rage like a manchild in front of millions while complaining about how hes being oppressed by the state.
Always fear-mongering about racial tensions while fighting tooth and nail to stonewall attempts to properly address it once and for all, not all that quite shocking considering what his delusional and paranoid followers actually meant by 'racial tensions' is Faunus (people who possess with animal traits) simply speaking up to end the injustice inflicted upon them by most kingdoms of Remnant, disportionately dominated by humans. Downplaying and even outright denial of the SDC and other corporations horrific exploitation of Faunus labour spearheaded by reactionaries like Braun received generous financial aids from the very same corporatio-



Three trucks holding thirty-five heavily armed balaclava-wearing men in grey jumpsuits swiftly dropped off and marched upon the steps of a large state complex. Gunshots echo throughout the ancient pillared hallways of the former Altesian local state capitol as Braun's men stormed it facing little to no resistance aside from a lone elderly janitor refusing them entry which led to Fritz personally rewarding the old man's stubborness with a bullet between his eyes. The suspicious lifelessness of the state building didn't concern him at all, what matters are reports of Premier Livi acceptance of the various reforms from the race traitors in the parliament which will result in accelerating of the imminent collaspe of Remnant's pure & superior human civilization into a abyss of degeneracy and misecegenation, where Faunus scum would surely hold absolute mastery over mankind as they know it. Fritz orders his men to hastily barricade windows and entrances of the building.

He orders men to take strategic postions near windows with heavy machine gun emplacements overlooking the local state capitol's outside steps and inside all its stairways. Fritz gleefully awaited the inevitable arrival of state forces, pacing around the governor's office back and forth with a sole finger twirling a incendiary grenade by its pin, making his two personal guards near his vincity incredibly nervous but they nonetheless held their ground. Constant bogus predictions of civil war has left a heavy toll on his sanity leaving an insane shivering wreck of a human being, Fritz chuckles as he wonders how future generations will view him and his brave me-

Suddenly all hell breaks loose as a humongous foreign vehicle identified as an HDDT-013 slammed into the back of the building at such high velocity that men are sent flying outside from the windows overlooking the steps with the impact sending Fritz face first towards the office entrance doors which sends his limp body tumbling down a flight of stairs in a world of agony as the ballad of gunshots, explosions, and screams becomes ever louder as his tumbling body nears the ground closer and faster as his back hits the floor making him groan in pain, they give Braun no rest as he is dragged further across the floor by the legs while a whirlwind of boots and gunstocks ruthlessly struck his battered body along the way, Fritz Braun is unceremoniously shoved into a van never seen again.

𝐀 𝐍𝐚𝐳𝐢 𝐂𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐲 𝐀𝐧𝐲 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐁𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝.


Read factbook

Considering that my RP post I just did involved hammering a knife through someone’s head, no, I don’t think it’s too violent. It does look good though! And I had forgotten upvoting dispatches was a thing.

Bunnies, Wubdich, Velvets realm, and Alantic empire

The Pacific Ring wrote:That's very good. Usually when it comes to violent scenes, it is recommended such details are minimal, such as if someone gets decapitated, then only say that their head got cut off.

So, do I need to tone this down a little or nah?

Velvets realm wrote:Greetings, I have written another short story-esque factbook about my nation's past chaotic political history, this time it's vaguely about how we deal with radicals when they step out of line. However, I am not quite unsure if this factbook is way too violent for NS standards and have to tone it down a little or delete it entirely. So, I would like to hear your opinions and leave a upvote if you liked my writing.

𝐈𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐦 𝐄𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐳

"A society that is tolerant without limits, will eventually have its ability to be tolerant seized and destroyed by the intolerant" - Karl Popper.

Fritz Braun has always clamored for a civil war, with every preceived threat (reforms) to the status-quo being always insisted as a civilization ending catastrophe. The fact the general media simply viewed him as a mostly harmless 'centre liberal' journalist just because he self-proclaims himself to be one is bizarrely baffling.

A popular cartoon show with its main cast majority comprising mostly of Faunus characters, and even Faunus voice actors? This is how Human civilization falls!

A history book detailing the past atrocities against both Humans and Faunus under the rule of former long-defunct empires? This is how Human civilization falls!

A game developer deciding to self-censor more explicit nudity in their games to improve their image to the general public? This is how Human civilization falls!

He receives six figures salary for malding and seething in rage like a manchild in front of millions while complaining about how hes being oppressed by the state.
Always fear-mongering about racial tensions while fighting tooth and nail to stonewall attempts to properly address it once and for all, not all that quite shocking considering what his delusional and paranoid followers actually meant by 'racial tensions' is Faunus (people who possess with animal traits) simply speaking up to end the injustice inflicted upon them by most kingdoms of Remnant, disportionately dominated by humans. Downplaying and even outright denial of the SDC and other corporations horrific exploitation of Faunus labour spearheaded by reactionaries like Braun received generous financial aids from the very same corporatio-



Three trucks holding thirty-five heavily armed balaclava-wearing men in grey jumpsuits swiftly dropped off and marched upon the steps of a large state complex. Gunshots echo throughout the ancient pillared hallways of the former Altesian local state capitol as Braun's men stormed it facing little to no resistance aside from a lone elderly janitor refusing them entry which led to Fritz personally rewarding the old man's stubborness with a bullet between his eyes. The suspicious lifelessness of the state building didn't concern him at all, what matters are reports of Premier Livi acceptance of the various reforms from the race traitors in the parliament which will result in accelerating of the imminent collaspe of Remnant's pure & superior human civilization into a abyss of degeneracy and misecegenation, where Faunus scum would surely hold absolute mastery over mankind as they know it. Fritz orders his men to hastily barricade windows and entrances of the building.

He orders men to take strategic postions near windows with heavy machine gun emplacements overlooking the local state capitol's outside steps and inside all its stairways. Fritz gleefully awaited the inevitable arrival of state forces, pacing around the governor's office back and forth with a sole finger twirling a incendiary grenade by its pin, making his two personal guards near his vincity incredibly nervous but they nonetheless held their ground. Constant bogus predictions of civil war has left a heavy toll on his sanity leaving an insane shivering wreck of a human being, Fritz chuckles as he wonders how future generations will view him and his brave me-

Suddenly all hell breaks loose as a humongous foreign vehicle identified as an HDDT-013 slammed into the back of the building at such high velocity that men are sent flying outside from the windows overlooking the steps with the impact sending Fritz face first towards the office entrance doors which sends his limp body tumbling down a flight of stairs in a world of agony as the ballad of gunshots, explosions, and screams becomes ever louder as his tumbling body nears the ground closer and faster as his back hits the floor making him groan in pain, they give Braun no rest as he is dragged further across the floor by the legs while a whirlwind of boots and gunstocks ruthlessly struck his battered body along the way, Fritz Braun is unceremoniously shoved into a van never seen again.

𝐀 𝐍𝐚𝐳𝐢 𝐂𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐲 𝐀𝐧𝐲 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐁𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝.


Read factbook

Kathol Rift wrote:I don’t know why, but Tolkien songs were exactly what I needed to write this RP post, so here we go. It won’t be super long, but I hope it makes up for that in quality. Note that this is not part of my current storyline, this is a story about Riddle 2 during the Hyrellian War.

The Commando sat in the blackness of the night. It had been three weeks since he had been captured. In that time, he had received no food, nor water. He had survived only by drinking the foul water that dropped from the cracks in the ceiling, and by eating what few rats he could catch. But the rats were learning to avoid him, and the steady drip of water had finally stopped. The Commando couldn’t hold out much longer.

This Commando couldn’t remember his squad, nor even his own name. The deterioration of his body had hit his mind harder still. But his captors saw no sign of this. If anything, they would have thought he was happy. Every few minutes, a grin would hit his face, and he would laugh to himself, like he had just thought of a particularly amusing riddle. Eventually, his captors decided that the isolation and starvation was doing nothing to break him, so there was no point in waiting longer. They needed to interrogate him before he died.

The Commando didn’t react when they came into his cell, except to look up and grin. When he made no move to get up, they started dragging him out. He laughed once more, this time carrying it out for several seconds. The enemy commander struck the back of his head and continued to to drag him.
Eventually, they reached a room that looked quite plain. But to the captor’s informed eye and the Commando’s trained eye, it was clearly an interrogation room. They tied him into a chair, while someone new, who the Commando hadn’t seen before, sat down. The man with dead eyes looked across at the smiling Commando, and began to talk.

“The Khavyata has some questions for you.”

The Commando’s grin stretched further across his face, but he stayed silent.

“His Greatness would like to know where Leon is. He must have a base of operations in this war. How else does he disappear? We wish to know.”

The Commando let out a little giggle before composing himself. Grinning like a fool, he still stayed silent.

“You withstood the last weeks well. But we can do far worse to you. If you prove resistant enough, we will bring you to the Khavyata himself. And you will not resist him, nor survive after breaking. So talk.”

The Commando finally let out a laugh that he couldn’t control. He laughed for almost a minute straight, his laughter echoing through the room. The man with dead eyes did not flinch, nor even blink. He simply waited until the lighter dies down, and talked again.

“What, if I may ask, is so funny, Commando? I don’t see anything for you to laugh about.”

The Commando looked straight at the interrogator, grinning. He noted the six guards placed around the room, and finally, he spoke.

“I just thought of a nice riddle. If you can answer it, perhaps I might give you something you need.”

The man with dead eyes still did not blink. He simply tilted his head quizzically and looked at the Commando.

“Very well. What is this riddle?”

The Commando started talking in a low voice, showing a straight face for the first time in weeks.

“Gods and kings and giants all fall, for none can escape whilst I hold thrall. What am I?”

The man with dead eyes furrowed his brow, confused. After a few moments, the Commando leaned forwards, a smile spreading across his face as he whispered conspiratorially.

“Death.”

The Commando raised his arms, showing that they were not tied to the chair as they should be. I’m a heartbeat, he made it to the guards and made lethal use of his hands. In a few moments, the six armed guards were lying on the ground, their necks twisted and bent at angles a human neck should not be at. With the knife of one guard in his hand, the Commando slowly walked back towards the interrogator, who was frozen in horror.

“Tell me, friend, what isn’t so funny to you? Why don’t you have anything to laugh about?”

The Commando placed the tip of the knife up against the side of the interrogator’s head, his other hand resting near the pommel.

“Why so serious, huh? Why no smile?”

The interrogator started whimpering, small breaths escaping his throat as he failed to find the words he needed to beg for mercy.

“I guess you just didn’t like my riddle.”

The Commando spontaneously pulled back his hand and rammed it into the pommel of the knife, driving the knife through the interrogator’s head. As the body crumpled to the floor the Commando noticed the the eyes, the dead eyes, did not change one bit.

The Commando got up to his feet and started walking out, carrying one of the guns from the guard. As he walked out, he wondered how he would find his way back to his squad, or even back to himself. Some portion of his mind realized how damaged it was, but he didn’t care. It would be fun to solve this mystery.

As he walked out, his smile grew. No, not a mystery. A Riddle.

Ok, not quite as short as I was expecting when I started, but still not too long.

Both two excellent pieces of writing. Good job.

Only, Kathol, it repeats 'The Commando' too often. But that may just be me with my preference to have all sentences start different.

Kathol Rift, Bunnies, The Municipalities of Antarctica, and Velvets realm

Wubdich wrote:Both two excellent pieces of writing. Good job.

Only, Kathol, it repeats 'The Commando' too often. But that may just be me with my preference to have all sentences start different.

That was intentional, to show how Riddle 2’s mind had deteriorated to the point where he knew himself only as a Commando, and the captors knew him as nothing more than a Commando.

Bunnies and Wubdich

Ancapstands wrote:It’s up to you

at this point.. i might as well attempt to establish a presence on mars.. rather than sending weapons..

Velvets realm wrote:So, do I need to tone this down a little or nah?

Nah, that's pretty minimal in my opinion.

Velvets realm

Kathol Rift wrote:That was intentional, to show how Riddle 2’s mind had deteriorated to the point where he knew himself only as a Commando, and the captors knew him as nothing more than a Commando.

Then it's fair enough.
May be a bit too tired to have seen that meaning behind that

Kathol Rift, Bunnies, and Alantic empire

On a serious note though Velvets realm, I do quite like it, there's a few spelling mistakes within it, but that doesn't take away from the quality of it.
I also quite enjoy that you're using the truck as more of a massive battering ram than as an actual tool for mining and hauling, it's quite nice to see such a vehicle being utilized for more than that.

Jar Wattinree, Strala, Kathol Rift, Bunnies, and 3 othersWubdich, Velvets realm, and Alantic empire

Kathol Rift wrote:I don’t know why, but Tolkien songs were exactly what I needed to write this RP post, so here we go. It won’t be super long, but I hope it makes up for that in quality. Note that this is not part of my current storyline, this is a story about Riddle 2 during the Hyrellian War.

The Commando sat in the blackness of the night. It had been three weeks since he had been captured. In that time, he had received no food, nor water. He had survived only by drinking the foul water that dropped from the cracks in the ceiling, and by eating what few rats he could catch. But the rats were learning to avoid him, and the steady drip of water had finally stopped. The Commando couldn’t hold out much longer.

This Commando couldn’t remember his squad, nor even his own name. The deterioration of his body had hit his mind harder still. But his captors saw no sign of this. If anything, they would have thought he was happy. Every few minutes, a grin would hit his face, and he would laugh to himself, like he had just thought of a particularly amusing riddle. Eventually, his captors decided that the isolation and starvation was doing nothing to break him, so there was no point in waiting longer. They needed to interrogate him before he died.

The Commando didn’t react when they came into his cell, except to look up and grin. When he made no move to get up, they started dragging him out. He laughed once more, this time carrying it out for several seconds. The enemy commander struck the back of his head and continued to to drag him.
Eventually, they reached a room that looked quite plain. But to the captor’s informed eye and the Commando’s trained eye, it was clearly an interrogation room. They tied him into a chair, while someone new, who the Commando hadn’t seen before, sat down. The man with dead eyes looked across at the smiling Commando, and began to talk.

“The Khavyata has some questions for you.”

The Commando’s grin stretched further across his face, but he stayed silent.

“His Greatness would like to know where Leon is. He must have a base of operations in this war. How else does he disappear? We wish to know.”

The Commando let out a little giggle before composing himself. Grinning like a fool, he still stayed silent.

“You withstood the last weeks well. But we can do far worse to you. If you prove resistant enough, we will bring you to the Khavyata himself. And you will not resist him, nor survive after breaking. So talk.”

The Commando finally let out a laugh that he couldn’t control. He laughed for almost a minute straight, his laughter echoing through the room. The man with dead eyes did not flinch, nor even blink. He simply waited until the lighter dies down, and talked again.

“What, if I may ask, is so funny, Commando? I don’t see anything for you to laugh about.”

The Commando looked straight at the interrogator, grinning. He noted the six guards placed around the room, and finally, he spoke.

“I just thought of a nice riddle. If you can answer it, perhaps I might give you something you need.”

The man with dead eyes still did not blink. He simply tilted his head quizzically and looked at the Commando.

“Very well. What is this riddle?”

The Commando started talking in a low voice, showing a straight face for the first time in weeks.

“Gods and kings and giants all fall, for none can escape whilst I hold thrall. What am I?”

The man with dead eyes furrowed his brow, confused. After a few moments, the Commando leaned forwards, a smile spreading across his face as he whispered conspiratorially.

“Death.”

The Commando raised his arms, showing that they were not tied to the chair as they should be. In a heartbeat, he made it to the guards and made lethal use of his hands. In a few moments, the six armed guards were lying on the ground, their necks twisted and bent at angles a human neck should not be at. With the knife of one guard in his hand, the Commando slowly walked back towards the interrogator, who was frozen in horror.

“Tell me, friend, what isn’t so funny to you? Why don’t you have anything to laugh about?”

The Commando placed the tip of the knife up against the side of the interrogator’s head, his other hand resting near the pommel.

“Why so serious, huh? Why no smile?”

The interrogator started whimpering, small breaths escaping his throat as he failed to find the words he needed to beg for mercy.

“I guess you just didn’t like my riddle.”

The Commando spontaneously pulled back his hand and rammed it into the pommel of the knife, driving the knife through the interrogator’s head. As the body crumpled to the floor the Commando noticed the the eyes, the dead eyes, did not change one bit.

The Commando got up to his feet and started walking out, carrying one of the guns from the guard. As he walked out, he wondered how he would find his way back to his squad, or even back to himself. Some portion of his mind realized how damaged it was, but he didn’t care. It would be fun to solve this mystery.

As he walked out, his smile grew. No, not a mystery. A Riddle.

Ok, not quite as short as I was expecting when I started, but still not too long.

Nicely written. I'm nearly done with Part 2.

The Municipalities of Antarctica wrote:The first thing that I immediately identified was the HDDT-013.
I was wondering when that'd appear! You did say you were going to utilize them.

Ah, I am glad to hear you still remembered that rare instance of RP exchange between our nations when I still had nothing written down about my nation. Do you this recent piece on the level of writing as the 'Azulie Projekt' or nah?

Velvets realm wrote:Ah, I am glad to hear you still remembered that rare instance of RP exchange between our nations when I still had nothing written down about my nation. Do you this recent piece on the level of writing as the 'Azulie Projekt' or nah?

Well, I think that the Azulie Projekt is better writing-wise, this one is not exactly on par with that, but I wouldn't say it's bad either.

The Pacific Ring wrote:Nicely written. I'm nearly done with Part 2.

Nice, and thanks. Riddle 2 is honestly one of my favorite characters to write, so getting to put the spotlight on him for one post was fun.

Bunnies, The Pacific Ring, and Wubdich

Kathol Rift wrote:I don’t know why, but Tolkien songs were exactly what I needed to write this RP post, so here we go. It won’t be super long, but I hope it makes up for that in quality. Note that this is not part of my current storyline, this is a story about Riddle 2 during the Hyrellian War.

The Commando sat in the blackness of the night. It had been three weeks since he had been captured. In that time, he had received no food, nor water. He had survived only by drinking the foul water that dropped from the cracks in the ceiling, and by eating what few rats he could catch. But the rats were learning to avoid him, and the steady drip of water had finally stopped. The Commando couldn’t hold out much longer.

This Commando couldn’t remember his squad, nor even his own name. The deterioration of his body had hit his mind harder still. But his captors saw no sign of this. If anything, they would have thought he was happy. Every few minutes, a grin would hit his face, and he would laugh to himself, like he had just thought of a particularly amusing riddle. Eventually, his captors decided that the isolation and starvation was doing nothing to break him, so there was no point in waiting longer. They needed to interrogate him before he died.

The Commando didn’t react when they came into his cell, except to look up and grin. When he made no move to get up, they started dragging him out. He laughed once more, this time carrying it out for several seconds. The enemy commander struck the back of his head and continued to to drag him.
Eventually, they reached a room that looked quite plain. But to the captor’s informed eye and the Commando’s trained eye, it was clearly an interrogation room. They tied him into a chair, while someone new, who the Commando hadn’t seen before, sat down. The man with dead eyes looked across at the smiling Commando, and began to talk.

“The Khavyata has some questions for you.”

The Commando’s grin stretched further across his face, but he stayed silent.

“His Greatness would like to know where Leon is. He must have a base of operations in this war. How else does he disappear? We wish to know.”

The Commando let out a little giggle before composing himself. Grinning like a fool, he still stayed silent.

“You withstood the last weeks well. But we can do far worse to you. If you prove resistant enough, we will bring you to the Khavyata himself. And you will not resist him, nor survive after breaking. So talk.”

The Commando finally let out a laugh that he couldn’t control. He laughed for almost a minute straight, his laughter echoing through the room. The man with dead eyes did not flinch, nor even blink. He simply waited until the lighter dies down, and talked again.

“What, if I may ask, is so funny, Commando? I don’t see anything for you to laugh about.”

The Commando looked straight at the interrogator, grinning. He noted the six guards placed around the room, and finally, he spoke.

“I just thought of a nice riddle. If you can answer it, perhaps I might give you something you need.”

The man with dead eyes still did not blink. He simply tilted his head quizzically and looked at the Commando.

“Very well. What is this riddle?”

The Commando started talking in a low voice, showing a straight face for the first time in weeks.

“Gods and kings and giants all fall, for none can escape whilst I hold thrall. What am I?”

The man with dead eyes furrowed his brow, confused. After a few moments, the Commando leaned forwards, a smile spreading across his face as he whispered conspiratorially.

“Death.”

The Commando raised his arms, showing that they were not tied to the chair as they should be. In a heartbeat, he made it to the guards and made lethal use of his hands. In a few moments, the six armed guards were lying on the ground, their necks twisted and bent at angles a human neck should not be at. With the knife of one guard in his hand, the Commando slowly walked back towards the interrogator, who was frozen in horror.

“Tell me, friend, what isn’t so funny to you? Why don’t you have anything to laugh about?”

The Commando placed the tip of the knife up against the side of the interrogator’s head, his other hand resting near the pommel.

“Why so serious, huh? Why no smile?”

The interrogator started whimpering, small breaths escaping his throat as he failed to find the words he needed to beg for mercy.

“I guess you just didn’t like my riddle.”

The Commando spontaneously pulled back his hand and rammed it into the pommel of the knife, driving the knife through the interrogator’s head. As the body crumpled to the floor the Commando noticed the the eyes, the dead eyes, did not change one bit.

The Commando got up to his feet and started walking out, carrying one of the guns from the guard. As he walked out, he wondered how he would find his way back to his squad, or even back to himself. Some portion of his mind realized how damaged it was, but he didn’t care. It would be fun to solve this mystery.

As he walked out, his smile grew. No, not a mystery. A Riddle.

Ok, not quite as short as I was expecting when I started, but still not too long.

this is awesome! creepy.. but still awesome!

Bunnies

It has come to my attention that my industry of Furniture Restoration is in the top 4% of our region. As such, I seek some business in the hopes of further economic growth.

Rockemsockem wrote:this is awesome! creepy.. but still awesome!

Thanks! Creepy wasn’t exactly what I was going for, but in hindsight, I guess it works that way.

Bunnies and Rockemsockem

Oop. Why am I still here? I got work at noon, and it's almost 3 am.

Bedtime. GN all.

Bunnies, Rockemsockem, The Municipalities of Antarctica, and Velvets realm

Kathol Rift wrote:Nice, and thanks. Riddle 2 is honestly one of my favorite characters to write, so getting to put the spotlight on him for one post was fun.

And Part 2 is basically: [SPOILER REMOVED]

Fennik: "Of course they would do that..."

Wubdich wrote:Oop. Why am I still here? I got work at noon, and it's almost 3 am.

Bedtime. GN all.

Gn. Sleep well.

The Pacific Ring wrote:And Part 2 is basically: [SPOILER REMOVED]

Fennik: "Of course they would do that..."

Well, that’s no fun.

I have updated my Nations motto because I apparently have to appeal to the will of my people. A small such my nations new motto is "Peace before War, War before Peace." That'll teach those hippies a thing or two.

Velvets realm

The Municipalities of Antarctica wrote:On a serious note though Velvets realm, I do quite like it, there's a few spelling mistakes within it, but that doesn't take away from the quality of it.
I also quite enjoy that you're using the truck as more of a massive battering ram than as an actual tool for mining and hauling, it's quite nice to see such a vehicle being utilized for more than that.

Ah, I almost missed this message in my notifications, could you please kindly point the spelling errors on my factbook if you have the time. I'II fix them shortly after.

Kathol Rift wrote:Gn. Sleep well.
Well, that’s no fun.

What's less fun is that I'm being called down to dinner when I'm two paragraphs away from finishing this.

Bunnies

The Pacific Ring wrote:What's less fun is that I'm being called down to dinner when I'm two paragraphs away from finishing this.

Very nice. Have a nice dinner!

Bunnies, The Pacific Ring, and Melious

Wubdich wrote:Then it's fair enough.
May be a bit too tired to have seen that meaning behind that

(I also don’t know if Kathol Rift would be interested in this? If you’re not, sorry for pinging you!)
Usually when authors try to slip into the mind of someone in third person they let the pronoun hang like this, “The commando was given a chocolate cake after the integration, a sugary treat that was frosted to perfection. The cake floated on the tongue and—oh! The texture gliding from one side to the other—it is truly divine, how could anyone make something so tasty? There must be more somewhere, anywhere! Maybe the chef’s around...”
I mean, how Kathol wrote is was good too! His way leaves more mystery in what the Commando might be thinking and is probably better for that whole “feral” feeling.

Velvets realm wrote:Ah, I almost missed this message in my notifications, could you kindly point the spelling errors on my factbook if you have the time. I'II fix them shortly after.

Certainly, here you go:

"leaving a insane shivering wreck of a human being"
Fix: "leaving an insane shivering wreck of a human being"

"Suddenly all hell breaks loose a humungous foreign vehicle identified as HDDT-013"
Fix: "Suddenly all hell breaks loose as a humongous foreign vehicle identified as an HDDT-013"

"which sends his limp body tumbling down onto a flight of stairs in a world of agony as the ballad of gunshots, explosions, and screams becomes ever louder as his tum bling body down goes nears the ground faster,"
Fix: "which sends his limp body tumbling down a flight of stairs in a world of agony as the ballad of gunshots, explosions, and screams becomes ever louder as his tumbling body nears the ground,"

Velvets realm

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