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Ya want nightmares?

Felterís Unnerving Image Mine


Credits to Western Pakistan for the 20/10 image


Tunes for increased viewing experience

7/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TiUmTUSbq0w

6/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nGBF7yLCOKA

4/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tJFcsSUm0As

5/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jMLJVfixoAg

8/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=da9g3cgw9xI

Images - Various Artists
Music - Various Artists

Image Mine

001

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to know if you have any job openings.

002

Common. Not very Dangerous. Only wants to party and play hopscotch.

003

Common. Not very dangerous. Weird Mickey Mouse reject. Donít bother interacting itís not worth your time.

004

Common. Poses danger in case of prolonged exposure. Just Mosquito Dog. Donít stay too long, itís mosquito instincts will kick in.

005

Common. Not very dangerous. He just wants to show you how long his tongue is.

006

Itís that weird guy again. I hate him.

007

Common. Not very dangerous. Wants to be threatening but is too short and slow.

008

Common. Sort of dangerous. Literally just Kirby.

009

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. H A M M O C K

010

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to check in to see if you having a good camping trip. Loves marshmallows and foxes.

011

Uncommon. Poses danger. Found in underdeveloped areas near bodies of salt water. Exact information is unknown but [REDACTED] was found completely ripped apart by the thing. It canít climb so get to the nearest tree if spotted.

012
Rare. Dangerous. A more rare and dangerous version of [DATA CORRUPTED] found in 001. Aggressive and will taunt those found until it finds oppurtunity to [REDACTED]

014

Common if you are a nice person. Not dangerous. Long Horse is a good boy. He comes in the night to visit those who are nice and love him. He loves carrots most of all and attention. He is best boy.

016

See 14.

017

See 16

018

See 17

019

See 18

020

See 19

021

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Only appear during foggy weather 6-8pm. Usually found in commercial areas after closing. Pose no harm and vanish if approached.

022

Rare. Dangerous. Do not attempt to interact. As soon as you locate this entity within a suburban home, seek a hiding place and do not make a sound. Unknown method of killing.

023

Very Rare. Poses Danger. Appears as some sort of sleep paralysis that seems to be real instead of a halluncination. Will not harm you unless you manage to move. Once it becomes extremly close to someone, they will fall back asleep and wake up later than theyíd normally do.

024


I have literally been to the campground in the exact cabin in this picture and itís scaring me.

025


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Warns about oncoming storms like a good weather siren.

026


Common. Sort of dangerous. Will block the road for unknown reasons. Very bendy neck.

027

Rare. Dangerous. A demented version of Cookie Monster that has entered cookie withdrawal.

028

Common. Not very dangerous. Just some wild Nekos out in the desert.

029

Rare. Not very dangerous. He just wants to check on you. Have you been doing well recently?

030

Very rare. [REDACTED]. If sighted you are gone. Give up all hope. It has found you and [DATA REMOVED]. Last sighted in 2004.

031


Common. Not very dangerous. Very large. It may seem that is only a house tall, however if you look carefully it is behind the trees on the horizon. Only appears during times of nostalgia.

032


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Wants you to get good sleep, but is quite unnerving and may do the opposite.

Read dispatch

Greater Felter wrote:Ya want nightmares?
Felterís Unnerving Image Mine


Credits to Western Pakistan for the 20/10 image


Tunes for increased viewing experience

7/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TiUmTUSbq0w

6/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nGBF7yLCOKA

4/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tJFcsSUm0As

5/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jMLJVfixoAg

8/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=da9g3cgw9xI

Images - Various Artists
Music - Various Artists

Image Mine

001

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to know if you have any job openings.

002

Common. Not very Dangerous. Only wants to party and play hopscotch.

003

Common. Not very dangerous. Weird Mickey Mouse reject. Donít bother interacting itís not worth your time.

004

Common. Poses danger in case of prolonged exposure. Just Mosquito Dog. Donít stay too long, itís mosquito instincts will kick in.

005

Common. Not very dangerous. He just wants to show you how long his tongue is.

006

Itís that weird guy again. I hate him.

007

Common. Not very dangerous. Wants to be threatening but is too short and slow.

008

Common. Sort of dangerous. Literally just Kirby.

009

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. H A M M O C K

010

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to check in to see if you having a good camping trip. Loves marshmallows and foxes.

011

Uncommon. Poses danger. Found in underdeveloped areas near bodies of salt water. Exact information is unknown but [REDACTED] was found completely ripped apart by the thing. It canít climb so get to the nearest tree if spotted.

012
Rare. Dangerous. A more rare and dangerous version of [DATA CORRUPTED] found in 001. Aggressive and will taunt those found until it finds oppurtunity to [REDACTED]

014

Common if you are a nice person. Not dangerous. Long Horse is a good boy. He comes in the night to visit those who are nice and love him. He loves carrots most of all and attention. He is best boy.

016

See 14.

017

See 16

018

See 17

019

See 18

020

See 19

021

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Only appear during foggy weather 6-8pm. Usually found in commercial areas after closing. Pose no harm and vanish if approached.

022

Rare. Dangerous. Do not attempt to interact. As soon as you locate this entity within a suburban home, seek a hiding place and do not make a sound. Unknown method of killing.

023

Very Rare. Poses Danger. Appears as some sort of sleep paralysis that seems to be real instead of a halluncination. Will not harm you unless you manage to move. Once it becomes extremly close to someone, they will fall back asleep and wake up later than theyíd normally do.

024


I have literally been to the campground in the exact cabin in this picture and itís scaring me.

025


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Warns about oncoming storms like a good weather siren.

026


Common. Sort of dangerous. Will block the road for unknown reasons. Very bendy neck.

027

Rare. Dangerous. A demented version of Cookie Monster that has entered cookie withdrawal.

028

Common. Not very dangerous. Just some wild Nekos out in the desert.

029

Rare. Not very dangerous. He just wants to check on you. Have you been doing well recently?

030

Very rare. [REDACTED]. If sighted you are gone. Give up all hope. It has found you and [DATA REMOVED]. Last sighted in 2004.

031


Common. Not very dangerous. Very large. It may seem that is only a house tall, however if you look carefully it is behind the trees on the horizon. Only appears during times of nostalgia.

032


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Wants you to get good sleep, but is quite unnerving and may do the opposite.

Read dispatch

No! No! No! No!
Auphelia has already given me nightmares about Carol from HR!
Stop!!

Agalaesia wrote:No! No! No! No!
[nation]Auphelia[nation] has already given me nightmares about Carol from HR!
Stop!!

Oh Carol. Why is she so notorious?

Greater Felter wrote:Ya want nightmares?
Felterís Unnerving Image Mine


Credits to Western Pakistan for the 20/10 image


Tunes for increased viewing experience

7/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TiUmTUSbq0w

6/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nGBF7yLCOKA

4/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tJFcsSUm0As

5/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jMLJVfixoAg

8/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=da9g3cgw9xI

Images - Various Artists
Music - Various Artists

Image Mine

001

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to know if you have any job openings.

002

Common. Not very Dangerous. Only wants to party and play hopscotch.

003

Common. Not very dangerous. Weird Mickey Mouse reject. Donít bother interacting itís not worth your time.

004

Common. Poses danger in case of prolonged exposure. Just Mosquito Dog. Donít stay too long, itís mosquito instincts will kick in.

005

Common. Not very dangerous. He just wants to show you how long his tongue is.

006

Itís that weird guy again. I hate him.

007

Common. Not very dangerous. Wants to be threatening but is too short and slow.

008

Common. Sort of dangerous. Literally just Kirby.

009

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. H A M M O C K

010

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to check in to see if you having a good camping trip. Loves marshmallows and foxes.

011

Uncommon. Poses danger. Found in underdeveloped areas near bodies of salt water. Exact information is unknown but [REDACTED] was found completely ripped apart by the thing. It canít climb so get to the nearest tree if spotted.

012
Rare. Dangerous. A more rare and dangerous version of [DATA CORRUPTED] found in 001. Aggressive and will taunt those found until it finds oppurtunity to [REDACTED]

014

Common if you are a nice person. Not dangerous. Long Horse is a good boy. He comes in the night to visit those who are nice and love him. He loves carrots most of all and attention. He is best boy.

016

See 14.

017

See 16

018

See 17

019

See 18

020

See 19

021

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Only appear during foggy weather 6-8pm. Usually found in commercial areas after closing. Pose no harm and vanish if approached.

022

Rare. Dangerous. Do not attempt to interact. As soon as you locate this entity within a suburban home, seek a hiding place and do not make a sound. Unknown method of killing.

023

Very Rare. Poses Danger. Appears as some sort of sleep paralysis that seems to be real instead of a halluncination. Will not harm you unless you manage to move. Once it becomes extremly close to someone, they will fall back asleep and wake up later than theyíd normally do.

024


I have literally been to the campground in the exact cabin in this picture and itís scaring me.

025


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Warns about oncoming storms like a good weather siren.

026


Common. Sort of dangerous. Will block the road for unknown reasons. Very bendy neck.

027

Rare. Dangerous. A demented version of Cookie Monster that has entered cookie withdrawal.

028

Common. Not very dangerous. Just some wild Nekos out in the desert.

029

Rare. Not very dangerous. He just wants to check on you. Have you been doing well recently?

030

Very rare. [REDACTED]. If sighted you are gone. Give up all hope. It has found you and [DATA REMOVED]. Last sighted in 2004.

031


Common. Not very dangerous. Very large. It may seem that is only a house tall, however if you look carefully it is behind the trees on the horizon. Only appears during times of nostalgia.

032


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Wants you to get good sleep, but is quite unnerving and may do the opposite.

Read dispatch

Thankfully I lost all will to sleep.

Greater Felter wrote:Ya want nightmares?
Felterís Unnerving Image Mine


Credits to Western Pakistan for the 20/10 image


Tunes for increased viewing experience

7/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TiUmTUSbq0w

6/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nGBF7yLCOKA

4/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tJFcsSUm0As

5/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jMLJVfixoAg

8/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=da9g3cgw9xI

Images - Various Artists
Music - Various Artists

Image Mine

001

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to know if you have any job openings.

002

Common. Not very Dangerous. Only wants to party and play hopscotch.

003

Common. Not very dangerous. Weird Mickey Mouse reject. Donít bother interacting itís not worth your time.

004

Common. Poses danger in case of prolonged exposure. Just Mosquito Dog. Donít stay too long, itís mosquito instincts will kick in.

005

Common. Not very dangerous. He just wants to show you how long his tongue is.

006

Itís that weird guy again. I hate him.

007

Common. Not very dangerous. Wants to be threatening but is too short and slow.

008

Common. Sort of dangerous. Literally just Kirby.

009

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. H A M M O C K

010

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to check in to see if you having a good camping trip. Loves marshmallows and foxes.

011

Uncommon. Poses danger. Found in underdeveloped areas near bodies of salt water. Exact information is unknown but [REDACTED] was found completely ripped apart by the thing. It canít climb so get to the nearest tree if spotted.

012
Rare. Dangerous. A more rare and dangerous version of [DATA CORRUPTED] found in 001. Aggressive and will taunt those found until it finds oppurtunity to [REDACTED]

014

Common if you are a nice person. Not dangerous. Long Horse is a good boy. He comes in the night to visit those who are nice and love him. He loves carrots most of all and attention. He is best boy.

016

See 14.

017

See 16

018

See 17

019

See 18

020

See 19

021

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Only appear during foggy weather 6-8pm. Usually found in commercial areas after closing. Pose no harm and vanish if approached.

022

Rare. Dangerous. Do not attempt to interact. As soon as you locate this entity within a suburban home, seek a hiding place and do not make a sound. Unknown method of killing.

023

Very Rare. Poses Danger. Appears as some sort of sleep paralysis that seems to be real instead of a halluncination. Will not harm you unless you manage to move. Once it becomes extremly close to someone, they will fall back asleep and wake up later than theyíd normally do.

024


I have literally been to the campground in the exact cabin in this picture and itís scaring me.

025


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Warns about oncoming storms like a good weather siren.

026


Common. Sort of dangerous. Will block the road for unknown reasons. Very bendy neck.

027

Rare. Dangerous. A demented version of Cookie Monster that has entered cookie withdrawal.

028

Common. Not very dangerous. Just some wild Nekos out in the desert.

029

Rare. Not very dangerous. He just wants to check on you. Have you been doing well recently?

030

Very rare. [REDACTED]. If sighted you are gone. Give up all hope. It has found you and [DATA REMOVED]. Last sighted in 2004.

031


Common. Not very dangerous. Very large. It may seem that is only a house tall, however if you look carefully it is behind the trees on the horizon. Only appears during times of nostalgia.

032


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Wants you to get good sleep, but is quite unnerving and may do the opposite.

Read dispatch

I'm very unnerved

Abarri wrote:Oh Carol. Why is she so notorious?Thankfully I lost all will to sleep.

Well, Carol from HR was strangled by Aupheliaafter the office Christmas party. That was her second Carol from HR...

Don't ask me what happened to the first one...

This was a joke, Carol! Now leave me alone!

Greater Felter wrote:Ya want nightmares?
Felterís Unnerving Image Mine


Credits to Western Pakistan for the 20/10 image


Tunes for increased viewing experience

7/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TiUmTUSbq0w

6/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nGBF7yLCOKA

4/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tJFcsSUm0As

5/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jMLJVfixoAg

8/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=da9g3cgw9xI

Images - Various Artists
Music - Various Artists

Image Mine

001

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to know if you have any job openings.

002

Common. Not very Dangerous. Only wants to party and play hopscotch.

003

Common. Not very dangerous. Weird Mickey Mouse reject. Donít bother interacting itís not worth your time.

004

Common. Poses danger in case of prolonged exposure. Just Mosquito Dog. Donít stay too long, itís mosquito instincts will kick in.

005

Common. Not very dangerous. He just wants to show you how long his tongue is.

006

Itís that weird guy again. I hate him.

007

Common. Not very dangerous. Wants to be threatening but is too short and slow.

008

Common. Sort of dangerous. Literally just Kirby.

009

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. H A M M O C K

010

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to check in to see if you having a good camping trip. Loves marshmallows and foxes.

011

Uncommon. Poses danger. Found in underdeveloped areas near bodies of salt water. Exact information is unknown but [REDACTED] was found completely ripped apart by the thing. It canít climb so get to the nearest tree if spotted.

012
Rare. Dangerous. A more rare and dangerous version of [DATA CORRUPTED] found in 001. Aggressive and will taunt those found until it finds oppurtunity to [REDACTED]

014

Common if you are a nice person. Not dangerous. Long Horse is a good boy. He comes in the night to visit those who are nice and love him. He loves carrots most of all and attention. He is best boy.

016

See 14.

017

See 16

018

See 17

019

See 18

020

See 19

021

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Only appear during foggy weather 6-8pm. Usually found in commercial areas after closing. Pose no harm and vanish if approached.

022

Rare. Dangerous. Do not attempt to interact. As soon as you locate this entity within a suburban home, seek a hiding place and do not make a sound. Unknown method of killing.

023

Very Rare. Poses Danger. Appears as some sort of sleep paralysis that seems to be real instead of a halluncination. Will not harm you unless you manage to move. Once it becomes extremly close to someone, they will fall back asleep and wake up later than theyíd normally do.

024


I have literally been to the campground in the exact cabin in this picture and itís scaring me.

025


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Warns about oncoming storms like a good weather siren.

026


Common. Sort of dangerous. Will block the road for unknown reasons. Very bendy neck.

027

Rare. Dangerous. A demented version of Cookie Monster that has entered cookie withdrawal.

028

Common. Not very dangerous. Just some wild Nekos out in the desert.

029

Rare. Not very dangerous. He just wants to check on you. Have you been doing well recently?

030

Very rare. [REDACTED]. If sighted you are gone. Give up all hope. It has found you and [DATA REMOVED]. Last sighted in 2004.

031


Common. Not very dangerous. Very large. It may seem that is only a house tall, however if you look carefully it is behind the trees on the horizon. Only appears during times of nostalgia.

032


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Wants you to get good sleep, but is quite unnerving and may do the opposite.

Read dispatch

So... How would one smuggle these creatures past border checks?

Grimsby town wrote:So... How would one smuggle these creatures past border checks?

Through the void or the backrooms duh.

Greater Felter wrote:Through the void or the backrooms duh.

Of course! I had forgotten all about those...

Greater Felter wrote:Ya want nightmares?
Felterís Unnerving Image Mine


Credits to Western Pakistan for the 20/10 image


Tunes for increased viewing experience

7/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TiUmTUSbq0w

6/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nGBF7yLCOKA

4/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tJFcsSUm0As

5/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jMLJVfixoAg

8/10
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=da9g3cgw9xI

Images - Various Artists
Music - Various Artists

Image Mine

001

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to know if you have any job openings.

002

Common. Not very Dangerous. Only wants to party and play hopscotch.

003

Common. Not very dangerous. Weird Mickey Mouse reject. Donít bother interacting itís not worth your time.

004

Common. Poses danger in case of prolonged exposure. Just Mosquito Dog. Donít stay too long, itís mosquito instincts will kick in.

005

Common. Not very dangerous. He just wants to show you how long his tongue is.

006

Itís that weird guy again. I hate him.

007

Common. Not very dangerous. Wants to be threatening but is too short and slow.

008

Common. Sort of dangerous. Literally just Kirby.

009

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. H A M M O C K

010

Common. Not very dangerous. Just wants to check in to see if you having a good camping trip. Loves marshmallows and foxes.

011

Uncommon. Poses danger. Found in underdeveloped areas near bodies of salt water. Exact information is unknown but [REDACTED] was found completely ripped apart by the thing. It canít climb so get to the nearest tree if spotted.

012
Rare. Dangerous. A more rare and dangerous version of [DATA CORRUPTED] found in 001. Aggressive and will taunt those found until it finds oppurtunity to [REDACTED]

014

Common if you are a nice person. Not dangerous. Long Horse is a good boy. He comes in the night to visit those who are nice and love him. He loves carrots most of all and attention. He is best boy.

016

See 14.

017

See 16

018

See 17

019

See 18

020

See 19

021

Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Only appear during foggy weather 6-8pm. Usually found in commercial areas after closing. Pose no harm and vanish if approached.

022

Rare. Dangerous. Do not attempt to interact. As soon as you locate this entity within a suburban home, seek a hiding place and do not make a sound. Unknown method of killing.

023

Very Rare. Poses Danger. Appears as some sort of sleep paralysis that seems to be real instead of a halluncination. Will not harm you unless you manage to move. Once it becomes extremly close to someone, they will fall back asleep and wake up later than theyíd normally do.

024


I have literally been to the campground in the exact cabin in this picture and itís scaring me.

025


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Warns about oncoming storms like a good weather siren.

026


Common. Sort of dangerous. Will block the road for unknown reasons. Very bendy neck.

027

Rare. Dangerous. A demented version of Cookie Monster that has entered cookie withdrawal.

028

Common. Not very dangerous. Just some wild Nekos out in the desert.

029

Rare. Not very dangerous. He just wants to check on you. Have you been doing well recently?

030

Very rare. [REDACTED]. If sighted you are gone. Give up all hope. It has found you and [DATA REMOVED]. Last sighted in 2004.

031


Common. Not very dangerous. Very large. It may seem that is only a house tall, however if you look carefully it is behind the trees on the horizon. Only appears during times of nostalgia.

032


Uncommon. Not very dangerous. Wants you to get good sleep, but is quite unnerving and may do the opposite.

Read dispatch

NawÖ none of these compare to Puddles the Puppy on a rampage!

On a quiet Friday morning in the South Pacific RMB...

Volaworand wrote:too bad The unified carolinas died, but their White-tailed Deer live on in our Zoo

page=dispatch/id=1112163

Auphelia wrote:Um . . . about that . . .

Did you let the Puddles the Puppy out?

Because it seems several exhibits were broken into and several animals were mauled or outright eaten.

(0-0)

There are no deer anymore.

Volaworand wrote:Well, there was an "incident" with a Red Panda from Concrete Slab... we still haven't found it.

Concrete Slab wrote:Ruh-roh
Any my red pandas aren't sickly!

Auphelia wrote:*inspects the zoo*

*gasps*

You might want to see this.

*shows you the massive gashes in the concrete of the enclosure, and the mangled steel doors that exploded outwards in the Puddles exhibit*

*screams and squawking can be heard from the direction of the aviary*

(0-0)

I'm sure it's nothing.

Concrete Slab wrote:My pandas! *cries*

Volaworand wrote:well... I guess we now know why the aviary is under reconstruction, lol :-)

Auphelia wrote:Ha . . .

Um . . . do you think the military should be called in?

*plumes of smoke rise in the distant as the screams grow in volume*

*various animal sounds ring out across the zoo as more animals begin to panic*

South Pacifica Isles wrote:Not my disabled war-rescue dog!

Roll Sarah! Roooooll!

British Falkland Islands wrote:My Gentoo penguins!!! noooo!!!!

The ColdWyvernian Undead wrote:*returns*
hey everyone hows it....oh no

St Helena Ascension and Tristan da Cunha wrote:C'mon Plovers! Fly!

Fly u damn fools!

Le Front de Liberation du Midand wrote:That Zoo was too Capitalist anyway...

Auphelia wrote:I'm sure everything is fine!

*runs to the aviary building before stopping*

*all of the remaining glass panes are showered in blood, the rest shattered and covered in feathers and chunks of flesh*

(0-0)

I . . . hey look, a plant!

Ultimate Distraction . . . Initiated!

*looks at the random piles of smoking, shredded flesh that are scattered around the area*

Give it a few minutes.

US State Of South Carolina wrote:HEY!!
*Is still mad about someone killing her deers*
Oh... sorry

Yansu wrote:*Watches it unfold* Meh, never gave those Anjanaths names, I don't care too much. They will be missed, though.

US State Of South Carolina wrote:My deers are dead!

Volaworand wrote:Get's Puddles some special Brownies....

page=dispatch/id=1156218

Auphelia wrote:That might just do it!

We just have to hope the shop is between him and the unicorn exhibit . . .

Are you certain you cannot call in your military forces? They would most likely die, but they might slow him down enough to allow some of the visitors to escape.

Volaworand wrote:I think I see Puddles in the Unicorn exhibit... omg they're mauling him with their horns!

EDIT:

Nope... I think that looks like Beepee's Quokka's

Volaworand wrote:Is that PS2's back paw up in the rafters? and is this a TSSS clone's tail?

Auphelia wrote:*gasps*

Go Gina and Leslie!

*waves a sign*

*Puddles the Puppy sideswipes Leslie, sending her flying into the wall of the exhibit, and then leaps out*

*he lands in the aquarium and begins to mercilessly execute everything around him*

Ack!

Someone, stop him!

*waves her tentacles*

Hm . . .

Wait just a minute!

*reaches for Puddles*

~(>->)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ColdWyvernian Undead wrote:weeeell then
*pull out note book and pen*
*makes a note to donate more crows and copperfish to the zoo, along with donating some of the shamane reindeer*

Volaworand wrote:Jeff Goldblum calls Acting Prime Minister Alan Duncan: "I told you! Puddles always finds a way!"

Duncan: noooo!!!!!! thank goodness Site B is still safe! we spared no expense!

US State Of South Carolina wrote:*Is sad*
):

Volaworand wrote:Puddles the Puppy

Auphelia provided Puddles the Puppy in January, 2019.
The Auphelian Department of Abominations in conjunction with the Bureau of Wildlife Management provided Puddles the Puppy, which is a rather dangerous and rare breed with a penchant for taking over small nations and creating totalitarian theocratic dictatorships. These fearsome beasts are known to yip, bounce and murder any who stand in their way. Their deadliest trait: They enjoy doing stand up comedy, and like to practice on unsuspecting victims. Zoo patrons with heart conditions, pregnancy or pre-existing authoritarian tendencies are warned not to attend this exhibit.
Due to their extremely dangerous nature, this this exhibit resembles the Indominus Rex enclosure from Jurassic World, but with double the precautions and triple the wall height and thickness. Construction costs have been covered by the Auphelian Department of Diplomacy and Pizza Parties.
Despite the rarity of Puddles the Puppy, this species has not received a ICUN rating, due to the danger posed by allowing it to occupy territory.

EDIT: I've set my Nations banner to Puddles to put all citizens on alert! *Puddles is at large* this is not a drill!

Volaworand wrote:observes the smoldering husk of a zoo...

Ö This is fine

The ColdWyvernian Undead wrote:There has to be away to stop this thing
*Stratches jaw with skeletal hand*
hmm..
oh, this probably wont work but here goes nothing
*pulls of radius bone an attempts to get Puddles attention*

Auphelia wrote:*Puddles rips through the zoo and leaps once more, landing in Faraday*

*he rips through the electric power terminals, sending a large portion of Volaworand into darkness*

*he leaps once more, destroying the cell towers and phone lines, before landing in the middle of Site C*

*in a matter of minutes, Site C is nothing but a large mound of soap bubbles*

Oh, thank goodness he didn't do anything here!

Oh the humanity!

Or lack thereof, I suppose.

Outer peopist wrote:*observes currently ensuing chaos*

Auphelia wrote:*tracks Puddles*

Wait just one second!

Volaworand! Come take a look at this!

*shows a monitor from a security camera in a KFP location*

*Puddles is on the floor, trying to tear into a penguin wing*

The food is so tough and chewy, even Puddles can't tear through it!

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Volaworand wrote:Feed him a SNOT happy meal? the extra gooey Southern Nutty Original Treat should slow him down?
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Russian grand imperial empire wrote:GOOEY NUT

Volaworand wrote:yes... it's full of very sticky viscous caramel. Children have been known to get SNOT all over their fingers and face.

This just *has* to work!

Dumps the SNOT vat over

Volaworand wrote:phew! That was close!

Auphelia wrote:Two Days Later . . .

We've tallied the deaths and property damage.

Thankfully, only 173,841 citizens died, with 3,484,915 injuries. Property damage hovers at around £7.4 billion, with potentially more to come once final estimates are confirmed. At this point 12% of the population does not have access to clean drinking water, 28% do not have electricity, with a further 13% having intermittent electrical connections. 41% of the nation is without phone service, and 33% do not have internet. Half of the coastal cities have sunk beneath the waves, and half of Faraday is still in flames. The homeless rate is hovering at around 19%.

Overall, this Puddles did very little damage compared to past attacks. The speedy response and film references of the Volaworandian government were key in limiting casualties, and we feel certain that with the proper upgrades to their enclosure, everything will be fine.

Thank you, Volaworand. Without you, this could have been much worse.

Thanks also goes to KFP, whose terrible food saved the day.

Volaworand wrote:Thank goodness we sold Point Cape International, our main Insurance Firm to Midand Global Corp... Now there's a major multinational that can foot the bill to rebuild :-)

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Rebuilding most of our two largest cities won't be a problem, will it Midand?

Auphelia wrote:That is a relief!

Accounting for government property as well as private property, the damage totals over £113 billion.

I hope this makes an interesting dispatch for you.

I do my best!

US State Of South Carolina wrote:*Is even more sad*
That was my state animal

Volaworand wrote:the genetic back-ups should be fine... and we can substitute frog DNA for any missing portions... what cold possibly go wrong?

Yansu wrote:If the failed Yansuan Mesozoic Park is any indication, a lot.

Auphelia wrote:I wonder if Auphelia can host a "We Are The World" style telethon to raise money for those impacted by this tragedy?

Auphelia wrote:I've made a few calls/death threats, and so far we have the following singers:

Rihanna
Gotye
Falco
Madonna
Celine Dion
Shakira
BTS
Amadeus Mozart
Loreen
Celia Cruz
Daft Punk
Bjork
Girls Generation
Ravi Shankar
Elvis Presley
Taylor Swift
Yo-Yo Ma
Luciano Pavoratti
Shonen Knife
Kishore Kumar
Ali Farka Toure
Carlos Santana
Andre Rieu
Aretha Franklin
Fela Kuti
a-Ha
Regina Spektor
Miriam Makeba
Wonder Girls
Julio Iglesias
ABBA
Beyonce
Beethoven
The Beatles
Shreya Ghoshal

This did require some necromancy, but so far it seems good. We aim to add another 30 acts, at least.

The ColdWyvernian Undead wrote:could you add Hall & Oates please.


I'll send some high quality steel two
*transports 5.1 million tons of DT Steel*

Auphelia wrote:*scoffs*

Oh, my God, how times have changed!
These girls must be blind or completely deranged.
But time seemed to halt
When I was Miss Baltimore
Crabs!

You can laugh, but life's a test.
Don't do this, don't do that! Remember- Mother knows best.
For the crown's in the vault
From when I won Miss Baltimore
Crabs!

Thank you!

Thank you!

*the crowd tosses flowers and jewels on the stage*

I will be performing later this week on the Volaworand Charity Concert! Please remember to donate to this worthy cause!

The ColdWyvernian Undead wrote:*return*
Oh Wow it started heavily snow where I live, this year it's getting more snow than it has been for a few year.
slams down 150 steel coins
I'll take the seat with the tv

Auphelia wrote:I'm sorry, but we only accept the pound sterling, per the request of Volaworand.

Codalonia wrote:;-; *asks Britian for 4,300 pounds* now?

Beepee wrote:Mmmmmm..... 🤔 2 please

Auphelia wrote:Sold!

*hands you two tickets*

Would you be interested in any of our upgrades?

Beepee wrote:Oh yes,

*checks down back of sofa*
*pulls out wads of cash*

Can they be upgraded to ...."For an additional £9,800 you can be in the first five rows and meet the stars backstage in the private lounge any time before, during, and after the show."

My second ticket is for my sugar-baby!

Saxavo wrote:*wakes up*

May I have one ticket please?

Codalonia wrote:*is done building* well its done Auphelia and Volaworand

Saxavo wrote:Thank you!

*drifts off to sleep again*

The ColdWyvernian Undead wrote:fair enough
*goes to atm to convert currencies*

Sthalrim wrote:Ill upgrade for £9,800 please.

Auphelia wrote:Sold!

Of course!

That will be a total of £19,600 extra.

Beepee wrote:The money will be transferred through the usual means..... you should have it in the next 20mins.

Auphelia wrote:*checks her offshore accounts*

And . . . it is in.

*gives you the tickets*

Glad to do business with you!

TOTAL RAISED: £25,500

TOTAL NEEDED: £133,000,000,000

Auphelia wrote:If you were there, it makes sense.

If you weren't, it looks like a regular day in TSP.

Volaworand wrote:yeah... my two largest cities reduced to ruble... just a Friday morning :-)

Grimsby town wrote:Oh! I was wondering why tickets were being sold!

Auphelia wrote:That's what the telethon and concert are for!

The musical guests are soon to be finalised, the location has been set, it will be broadcast all over TSP and TNP, and we already have various corporate sponsors!

The government of Auphelia itself has donated £1,000,000,000 to help.

TOTAL RAISED: £1,375,025,500

TOTAL NEEDED: £133,000,000,000

Grimsby town wrote:Good thing I wasn't affected by the incident!

... Mostly because I don't have any wildlife to put in the zoo.

Volaworand wrote:Don't worry... we're using Site B... :-) nothing will possibli go wrong! Ö possibly... possibly nothing will go wrong.

Auphelia wrote:One seat for you!

For an additional £9,800 you can be in the first five rows and meet the stars backstage in the private lounge any time before, during, and after the show.

For an additional £4,800 you can be in the first five rows and meet the stars backstage in the private lounge any time an hour before and after the show.

For an additional £4,300 you can be in the first fifteen rows and meet the stars for thirty minutes backstage before or after the show.

For an additional £3,800 you can be in the first thirty rows and meet the stars before the show and attend the hour long Q&A after the show with the hosts of the telethon and select acts.

For an additional £1,300 you be in the first hundred rows and can attend the hour long Q&A after the show with the hosts of the telethon and select acts.

For an additional £1,000 you can sit on the ground level.

For an additional £800 you can sit on the second balcony.

For an additional £500 you can sit on the third balcony.

For an additional £300 you can get a telescreen to view the telethon at the same time and view the acts up close.

Commonwealth Of Astoria wrote:I bought 10k tickets

Codalonia wrote:i will help...

Sthalrim wrote:Ill upgrade for £9,800 please.

Volaworand wrote:excited for food and shelter for my people :-)

Beepee wrote:*provides you with economic and humanitarian aid*

Endopico wrote:*spoon feed the people with medicine and some manifestos*

Volaworand wrote:hey that reminds me... I built mutual aid and refugee assistance provisions into numerous bilateral treaties...

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Auphelia Hanguk-Nippon Beepee Kerlodia Mryasia P R of China: We are officially requesting activation of our Mutual Aid in Disasters assistance provisions.

We need food... shelter... fresh SPIT! and musical acts!

Auphelia wrote:We are pleased to offer the following:

£30 Billion

£20 Billion Credit Towards Auphelian Goods

£10 Billion in Construction

120,000 Workers and Construction Drones

12,000 Government Agents to deal with refugee services

120,000 Bio-Degradable Bottles of Water

The Complete Reconstruction and Remodel of the Zoo

£2,000, 0% Interest Loan to every private citizen hurt in any way by the incident

£500 Million worth of Auphelian Grains

Our national coffers may suffer, but your national well being is worth any cost.

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Read dispatch

Agalaesia wrote:Well, Carol from HR was strangled by Aupheliaafter the office Christmas party. That was her second Carol from HR...

Don't ask me what happened to the first one...

This was a joke, Carol! Now leave me alone!

Yeah, we haven't seen the original Carol in quite some time now...

*continues piling pebbles in a vaugely grave shaped pile*

*whistles innocently*

Is work getting to your head? Are you in dire need of a break? Come down to Coralla, where we will attend to your vacation needs!

Auphelia wrote:And yet we don't have the tag for "feminist".

Tell Erinor!

If he doesn't do it, it'll be the centerpiece of my next delegate campaign! ;)

Tsunamy wrote:Tell Erinor!

If he doesn't do it, it'll be the centerpiece of my next delegate campaign! ;)

I did tell him, but I think he might have gotten busy and I do hate to be a bother.

But yes, it will make a beautiful cent-

Wait.

You're running?

Huzzah!

Tsunamy, riding the wave of the future . . . today!

Auphelia wrote:I did tell him, but I think he might have gotten busy and I do hate to be a bother.

But yes, it will make a beautiful cent-

Wait.

You're running?

Huzzah!

Tsunamy, riding the wave of the future . . . today!

But we already had Tsu as a delegate. I want something new, something fresh, maybe The TSP Local Council.

Thatís someone I would vote for.

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