by Max Barry

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-11,014SCORE 160NATIONS 286NUKES 2,553SHIELD 598PRODUCTION 0TARGETS 0LAUNCHES 3,427STRIKES 0TARGETED 0INCOMING 14,441RADIATION

Nations of Bikini Bottom

  1. The Former Ducktator of JohanneslandenE
  2. The Grand Principality of Novgorod-PskovE
  3. Novgorod peterhofS
  4. The Volost of Novgorod YugraE
  5. The Cats with Cudgels of Felis Silvestris GrampiaE
  6. Also istriaS
  7. Istria and izsacM
  8. The Anatolian Artichokes of AltasundE
  9. The Borderlands of Boisterous BalrogsM
  10. The Ugly Organ of PantherS
  11. Felis silvestris caucasicaE
  12. Free tverS
  13. The Republic of Bria Wores BobbaM
  14. Kuban krasnodarS
  15. The Protectorate of South Pacific Information CenterS
  16. The Republic of LegsLegsLegsLegsLegsM
  17. The sinister black marketM
  18. The Soupistic Theocracy of SoupasiaM
  19. The Endless Twisting Hallways of The Library of LugaE
  20. Machiavellis princeM
  21. The Stygian Kingdom of Dark PantherS
  22. The kellas catsS
  23. Grand and mighty siberiaE
  24. The saturnaliaE
  25. The Sepulchral Kingdom of White PantherS
  26. HamtarcticaE
  27. The unionist union of united universesM
  28. The Rouge Kingdom of Crimson PantherM
  29. SteuropaS
  30. North yamericaS
  31. The Nomadic Community of CrabbinessE
  32. The Flaxen Kingdom of Amber PantherM
  33. The Draconian Kingdom of Jade PantherS
  34. The Blue Porcelain Kingdom of Cobalt PantherM
  35. The Scrimshaw Kingdom of Ivory PantherM
  36. The Nightshade Kingdom of Sable PantherM
  37. The Carnal Kingdom of Scarlet PantherE
  38. The Amaranthine Kingdom of Amethyst PantherE
  39. The Dreaming Kingdom of Argent PantherS
  40. The Loam Kingdom of Ochre PantherS
  41. The Dawning Kingdom of Aureate PantherS
  42. The Blood-Wine Kingdom of Sanguine PantherE
  43. The Spice Kingdom of Saffron PantherM
  44. The Ultramarine Kingdom of Azure PantherS
  45. The Jasper Kingdom of Vermilion PantherS
  46. The Dungaree Kingdom of Indigo PantherM
  47. The Chartreuse Kingdom of Emerald PantherM
  48. The Supine Socialist Slothland of MaowiS
  49. The Constitutional Monarchy of KaystoneS
  50. The Wine-Dark Kingdom of Burgundy PantherS
  51. The Grumbling Old Unretiree of The lepearchaunsE
  52. Felis silvestris cretensisS
  53. The Tragedy of the Commons of Village Green Preservation SocietyM
  54. The Ostentatious Flamboyance of Toad HallE
  55. The Deceptive Mundanity of The Wardrobe in the Spare RoomE
  56. The Holy Empire of MaowamsE
  57. The Pleasant Faraway Idyll of The Shire of HobbitsS
  58. The Mountain of the Badger Lords of SalamandastronE
  59. The Beguiling Mystery of Piper at the Gates of DawnS
  60. Charles offdensonE
  61. The Impenetrable Walled Defenses of Mr McGregors GardenE
  62. The Bumbly Buzzing Apiary of House at Pooh CornerE
  63. The Romantic Fruit Merchants of Goblin MarketS
  64. The Make-Believe Forest Keeper of Christopher RobinS
  65. The Sage Jungle Counsel of BagheeraE
  66. The Fruitful Generation of WombS
  67. The Shadowy Machinations of The Whisperer in the DarknessM
  68. Angry lepearchaunsS
  69. The Incorporated States of Maowese SlothsE
  70. Holy lepearchaunsE
  71. Pvt churchE
  72. The Red and yellow flippy flops of I do not give a flipM
  73. The Democratic Republic of Rico RocaE
  74. Armed lepearchaunsE
  75. The Democratic Federation of Holly UnitedS
  76. The Nomad Archives of The VisitorE
  77. The Unsavory Intentions of RatfinkE
  78. UbbullsE
  79. The Manufactured Simulacrum of PrisonerM
  80. The Croatoan Utterances of OtherworldlyE
  81. The Opaque Archives of ObscureS
  82. The Obscured Visage of Hooded FigureE
  83. The Brotherly Love of EidolonsE
  84. The Generous Roots of Yuletide YggdrasilE
  85. LepearchaunsE
  86. Pvt simmonsM
  87. Cpt butch flowersS
  88. The Imperial State of Suna WilderiaE
  89. New under upper antarticaE
  90. Freeing freedomS
  91. Bird on the wireM
  92. The Hulking Woolen Behemoth of Woolly MammothS
  93. The Plundering Yuletide Dĉmon of Viking SantaS
  94. The Garlanded Christmas Embassy of Snow MonkeysS
  95. The Hibernating Wintergreens of Snow ForestS
  96. The Medieval Skáldic Sagas of Snorri SturlusonE
  97. The Tsar of the Taiga of Siberian TigerE
  98. The White Night Black Mass of RunestoneS
  99. The Meandering Riverine Voyage of RiverboatE
  100. The Everlasting Eventide of Polar NightS
  101. The Blustery Frost Spirit of Old Man WinterM
  102. The Hushed Arcadian Shade of Northern WoodE
  103. The Herd Immunity of MuskoxS
  104. The Leaping Billies of Mountain GoatS
  105. The Gilded Sea Power of Merchant RepublicS
  106. The Hoary Goliath of MastodonM
  107. The Seafaring Federation of Maritime RepublicsM
  108. The Roving Riparian Surprisal of LongshipM
  109. The Peaceable Kingdom of Lions and LambsE
  110. The Grumpy Ducktatorship of Angsty BirdsM
  111. The Prospector's Dreams of KlondikeE
  112. The Tolling Dirge at Requiem of FuneralE
  113. The Ranging Ungulate Herd of ElkS
  114. The Alpine Ore Lodes of DwarfS
  115. The Star-Crowned Snow Forests of ChristmastideE
  116. The Luminous Stellar Kingdom of CandlenightsS
  117. OchsE
  118. The Auroral Ice-flecked Irises of Boreal LightM
  119. The Maritime Merchant Republic of AstrolabeM
  120. The Bleak Windswept Expanse of Arctic TundraM
  121. BandaidersM
  122. Sugarcandy maowintainE
  123. MingentawistlaimefulM
  124. The Kingdom of NorgiestoileckylockJS
  125. The Cerulean Cardinal Bloodlines of The Enduring House of AugustE
  126. The Forbidden Fruits of PomegranateM
  127. The Sheltering Succor of She-WolfE
  128. The Queuing Bureaucratic Decency of Great PrecisionE
  129. The Jade Dragon Kingdom of Porcelain and SilkE
  130. The Romance of Kipling's Orient of Alexandria EschateE
  131. The Cherry Blossom Kingdom of Katana and ChrysanthemumE
  132. The Ӎᴀʀɪᴛɪᴍᴇ Ӎᴇʀᴄʜᴀɴᴛ Яᴇᴘᴜʙʟɪᴄ of Novgorod and Baltic RusS
  133. The Mutinous Arcadian Schism of Sovereign WildernessE
  134. The ℌᴏʟʏ 𝔅ʏᴢᴀɴᴛɪɴᴇ 𝔈ᴍᴘɪʀᴇ of Varangian RusE
  135. The Blakean Kingdom of Ancient of DaysS
  136. The big tank ladyS
  137. The Antediluvian Lost World of Saurian NationsS
  138. The مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُول Kingdom of Gardens and MinaretsM
  139. The Castles in the Skies of Gates of Horn and IvoryS
  140. The Black Iron Prison State of DungeonE
  141. The Night Covenant of ConcordatE
  142. The Yawning Shadow Play of Eldritch EmpyreanE
  143. The Milk and Honeyed Floodplains of Womb of NationsE
  144. The 𝔇𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡 𝔉𝔩𝔢𝔢𝔱 of Black ShipsM
  145. The White Crowned Boreal Lights of North CrossM
  146. The 𝔐ᴀʀɪᴛɪᴍᴇ 𝔐ᴇʀᴄʜᴀɴᴛ 𝔊ᴜɪʟᴅs of Hanseatic LeagueM
  147. The Palisades and Parapets of Gates of AlexanderM
  148. The Harbinger's Clarion of HeraldS
  149. The Danse Macabre of Conqueror WormS
  150. The Brazen Panoply of Steam and ClockworkM
  151. The Colourful Hindu Kingdom of Saffron and LotusE
  152. The Motley Crew's Baroque Voyage of Refugee ArksE
  153. The Labyrinthine Mystery of Realm of the MothersM
  154. The Eurasian Steppe Horse Nomads of HordeS
  155. The Codified Jurisprudence of Byzantine LawM
  156. The White Death of Winter WarE
  157. The Islamic Golden Age of Moorish SpainE
  158. The South Side of Heaven of SteppeM
  159. The Black Swan Hegemony of Christ TriumphantS
  160. Great bremerhavenM