Hocherlan is by far, one of the greatest individuals to have grace Krumpelberg and Montealba. His service in Krumpelberg brought fame and glory, his excellence at completing the events Z-Day and N-Day for nearly three years is understood as a figment of living legend here in Montealba. No individual exudes military supremacy and glorious battle-fervor than Captain
, our glorious warrior whose fighting spirit and determination is unstoppable.
It is from this his cult of personality quickly was founded, and where today it is formalized. We understand Hocherlan, as a warrior-poet. A warrior keen in spellcraft and the art of shytposting.
Our gracious warrior-god began his legend most notably as a warrior and leader in Krumpelberg, raising a volunteer militia we affectionately refer to as Hocherlan's Tigers.
His warrior spirit came to Montealba, and his warrior continues to fight in his holy name. He is the embodiment of our warrior spirit.
But beyond his martial prowess please contemplate and rever his great writings that have united us beyond comprehension.
Please enjoy your pilgramage by listening to a holy song as you read: https://youtu.be/dLZPfMHWPWk
THE BULLETIN OFFICE
THE HOLIEST SITE IN ALL MONTEALBA
PLEASE TREAD CAREFULLY AND PRAY TO THE IDOLS OF WORSHIP IN PEACEFUL TRANQUILITY
TO VIEW THE ARCHIVE OF MONTEALBA BULLETINS WRITTEN BY HOCHERLAN:
SAINTS OF WORSHIP
Saint Sellaikov "Selly", the Sleeping Saint.
The great warrior-poet and mercantile Sino-Hebrew, Sellaikov was a beloved friend and compatriot. In gratitude for being a virtuous Tiger, he is now:
The first canonized saint of Hocherlan worship
Saint of Education, Learning, Banking, Wealth, Greed, Anti-Hooliganism, Corporal Punishment and Counterfeiting.
Go with Hocherlan, wherever you are Tovarishch
FOR THE SLEEPING SAINT!
Saint Mazda-otta, the Rat-Chef
The great warrior-poet and Ho Chi Minh look alike, an ancient and legend of infinite praise. He guided us for years in the greatness of Roleplay and forever will guide us, his teachings never to fade. He leads us and guides us in the great beyond.
Saint of Roleplay, Stories and Mischief
Go with Hocherlan, great Tovarishch. Return to us in glory.
✵☽ Saint Dagoth uur ✵☽
From Krumpelberg to Montealba, we shall always honor the Sixth House, and the tribe unmourned. To honor him, go the heart chamber and bring wraithguard. He has need of it.
Saint of the Unmourned, Vagrants, Vagabonds, Nationalism, and Glory.
GOD IS A KRUMPELBERG, HIS NAME IS DAGOTH UR!
Saint Roki, The Bosniak-Slayer Bard
His ballads bring us victory, his voice guides us like Hoch guides our artillery. Saint Roki's ballads will lead us to TRUE GLORY
Saint of Music, Ballad, and Brotherhood
ROKI SINGS! THE CORDS OF DEATH!
Saint drakeye the Mad One
An elusive and devilishly dark enigma of a saint. Only casting its shadow when it feels as such, devoid of foolish notions that would render others less. The dark saint, a Lovecraftian horror to enemies of the Montealbans, for his presence renders all confused and yet interested by his skooma-addled musings. He is precious and requires fine cookies and dragon pictures to appease.
Saint of Skooma-Trading, Coke-Drinking, Madness, Subterfuge, Gambling, Chernobyl and Loansharking
THE DRAKE'S EYE IS ALIVE
Saint Oksana, the Kyrgyz Whisperer
One of the living milking saints, her healing abilities mend all battle wounds whilst her voice soothes and invigorates all men to greater heights of bravery and deed. She whisphers to the fallen dead of the Tigers as they transition to the afterlife.
Saint of Mongoloid Aesthetics, Soft Seductive Whispering Songs, Romance, Beauty, Kyrgyz Disco, and Wife-Stealing
MILKIES! MILKIES! MUMMY'S MILKIES!
St.Ricardo the Glistening
The muscle-bound saint of strength, his overwhelming physique, and incubus-esque aura drives all to realms of pleasure and self-improvement. His muscle, smile, and dance guide all to greatness.
Saint of Muscles, Working-Out, Dancing, Body Oil, /fit/ and Funky Music
YOU GOT THAT SOMETHING THAT I LIKE, THAT I NEED
Saint Cibby, the Ancient One
A saint of experienced battle-prowess and deep knowledge to the ways of the strong. A lover of the drink and of the battle, he treads a dark and foreboding path having lived since time immemorial.
Saint of Wisdom, Panamanian-Slaying, Virginity-Stealing, Alcohol, and Depression
PASS ME A BEER AND OPEN YOUR EARS, CIBBY IS HERE
Saint Altwelt, The Original Saintess of Softness
A lady of infinite compassion and sweetness whose caring for you shalt never falter. Her death and that of her lover is one of infinite tragedy, long may her corporeal vessel be guarded and honored
Saint of Softness, Pregnancy, and Compassion
ALTWELT GIVE YOU SOFTNESS
Saint Khavor, the Redguard
A dark individual from the concrete and asphalt hellscape who ranges across the land with a mighty draco and smiths raps for the glory of his compatriots. Easy to rouse to fight or argument, he is a furious god but ultimately a well-beloved friend.
Saint of Arguments, Capping N'wahs, Rapping, Rhymes, and Hoodlum-ism
SOMEONE IS GETTING CAPPED
Saint Kintada, the Troubles
A mighty and sincere saint of nearly unlimited power who is often extremely appreciated and understood by all as a powerful individual. Perpetual insults and caring affection is the only way to keep Kintada from ruling the lands far and beyond. It is through her/him (disputed) that Montealba finds prosperity and learns forgiveness, although some believe there is hidden darkness that dwells within. Therefore, Kintada must be contained at all costs.
Saint of Diplomacy, Travel, Democracy, The IRA, Irish-Independence, the Bullied, Ridicule, Anti-Imperialism, Anti-Colonialism, Potatoes, Blight, and Peace
Fág an Bealach
Saint Marisa, Wife of Hocherlan
The almighty witch-queen and professional cleaner of Hocherlan's gilded corporeal halls, she is the ultimate female of all Montealba. Her awe-inspiring speed and strength are beyond question and is said to guide missiles that fire at imperialist black bombers. Straightwoard speech is the only way to approach her, she accepts no less and views all semblance of law as not fulfilling "her husband's dream". For this, she tends to the Bulletin Office's printers and editorial newsroom. Her disappointed glare is said to being strong enough to turn any it touches to grovel and beg for forgiveness.
Saint of the Bulletin Office, Anarcho-Monarchism, Kleptomania, Glass Cannons, Cleaning, Cleansing, and Yandere Marriages.
MARISA! MARISA! MARISA!
Saint Senko, High Maiden of Montealba
The most wholesome creation in existence that requires all of our gratitude for gracing us.A humble maid that only wishes for all of Montealba to "make it" and will do anything required to facilitate that. Saint Senko roam Montealba renovating and caring for the homes of noble Montealbans daily. Oft helps with cooking and cleaning the most saddened and lonely individuals preventing suicide and depression. Fluffing her tail is seen as the highest honor one can receive in a lifetime. Lewding her is a crime punishable by death.
Saint of Wholesomeness, Chill Vibes, Maids, Home Economics, Peace, Tranquility, Humbleness, Cleanliness, Cooking and Culinary Arts, Massages and Tender Affection.
SENKO IS A SAINT! LEAVE HER BE! FLUFF THE TAIL!
Saint Pelinal Whitestrake, Ayleid-Slayer
The living embodiment of rage and considered one of Hocherlan's holy avatars, he is the paragon of vicious MORALLY JUSTIFIED slaughter. Known in his time as the greatest elf-slayer of his time. He served the Montealban Revolution by slaying the Sorcerer-Kings of the Ayleid city-states in single combat, including Haromir of Copper and Tea, Gordhaur the Shaper, and the Fire-King Hadhuul. However, after the death of the hoplite Huna, his young male lover, Pelinal would descend into several flights of madness during which he cut vast swathes in mindless fury. This included slaughtering Montealba's Khajit population leading to skooma being cut with soda. After all this he slaughtered Umaril the Unfeathered and died shortly afterward by Elven trickery. Despite this ending, Pelinal is remembered beyond all as the Divine Crusader and a hero to all soda-ethnics.
His final words must be a lesson to us all: Like when the dream no longer needs, Its dreamer
Saint of Elven Pogroms, Khajit Pogroms, Humanity, Vengence, Splaying Entrails, Fury, Hatred, Cyborgs, Time-Travel, Divine Crusades, Raiding, and War
MY ONLY AMBITION IS HEADS OF KINGS! I FEEL YOU USING DETECT LIFE! I KNOW YOU CAN'T FEEL ME! REEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!
Saint Dyatlov of Spicy Rocks
The holy immortal ethereal guardian of the Montealban nuclear industry. He is unquestionably the greatest mind of RBMK reactors (which cannot fail or explode) who shifts through the control rooms of nuclear power stations across Montealba, beating young nuclear engineers and operators. Such efforts create peak performance on all nuclear reactor and weapons testing for Dyatlov always forms barriers that forever prevent no more than 3.6 Roegten leaking out to Montealba at any time, this is done by his constant maintenance of the Geiger counters and desimeters. He is husband to Core-Chan.
Saint of Graphite, Nuclear Energy, RBMK reactors, Core-Chan, Green Aurora Borealis, Radiation, and [REDACTED CAUSE ITS NOT THERE]
3.6 ROEGTEN. NOT GREAT , NOT TERRIBLE
Saint Andrei Glukhov, "Musk Miner"
Saint Nova Hrodsk, the Spezian
Saint Lemonade Joe
The Cult was first established by the heir to Hocherlan's legacy and his chosen successor Eldurgoth. As acting prophet and bearer of Hocherlan's Tigers, this cult is to remember the fallen friends and memes we have made along the way. So that we might never forget what established Montealba. All those willing to understand Hocherlanism, Montealban culture and the philosophical teaching of the Cult may speak freely to Eldurgoth.