by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in Crimea

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, Crimea is ranked 2,628th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The District of CimmerAnarchy Post-Revolution Embryonic Society“Community”
2.The State of LuighneAnarchy Post-Revolution Embryonic Society“State”
3.The District of BrassarAnarchy Post-Revolution Embryonic Society“God, Homeland, Liberty”
4.The State of SitsiliyaFree-Market Paradise Randroids“State”
5.The State of SvobodaskiyFree-Market Paradise Randroids“State”
6.The State of CaraoInoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists“Mission Accomplished”
7.The Queen's State of ZayasBenevolent Dictatorship Temporary Liberal State of Emergency“Dare”
8.The State of EuryphaessaInoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists“Bright One”