The Fattest Citizens in New West Indies
World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."
 | Nation | WA Category | Motto | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. |  The Partial Monarchy of Viking Nordland | Anarchy Post-Revolution Embryonic Society | “Búskapur” | |
| 2. |  The Republic of Raxy Soverodnuizzlemordia | Civil Rights Lovefest Brave Progressives | “From Many, One” | |
| 3. |  The Republic of JOIHF | Inoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists | “Hockey for all” | |
| 4. |  The Allied States of New West Indies | Left-wing Utopia Utopia | “In Varietate Concordia” | |
| 5. |  The Queendom of Anastasia Karanikolaou | Inoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists | “Might Makes Right” | |
| 6. |  The United Antillean Kingdom of Antillae Unitae | Democratic Socialists Ordinary Caring Intelligent World Citizens | “Post Nubila Phoebus” | |
| 7. |  The Republic of District Line 9 | Inoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists | “We Will Endure” | |
| 8. |  The Loving Couple of -I-Ship-It | Authoritarian Democracy Mouth-Breathing Creationists | “Shipping Fan!” | |
| 9. |  The Republic of Tinja | Left-Leaning College State Paradise | “Justice, Accountability, Empowerment” |
