by Max Barry

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The Most Alphabetically Ascendent in Republicans

Linguistic experts debated late into the night to place nations in alphabetical order.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Awesome Life of Barron TrumpCorporate Police State Halliburton“Trump”
2.The Canine Insurgency of Dogs Against RomneyLeft-wing Utopia Utopia“Mitt is Mean”
3.The Thunderdome Champion of Elizabeth WarrenDemocratic Socialists Ordinary Caring Intelligent World Citizens“An unjust law is no law at all”
4.The Incorporated States of Employees of the MonthInoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists“Winning Bigly”
5.The Commonwealth of Jeffersonian RepublicansScandinavian Liberal Paradise Normal“One man with courage is a majority. ”
6.The Holy Empire of Thank God For Donald TrumpCompulsory Consumerist State Consumerist Wage Drones“Chosen By God To Lead America”
7.The United States of The Federalist SocietyRight-wing Utopia Corrupt Thieving Uneducated Fascist Fundamentalists“John G. Roberts is a very sexy man.”
8.The Unwarranted Intrusion of Transvaginal UltrasoundIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Gobble Gobble Wibble Wobble Do a Noodle Dance”
9.The Knife-Wielding Supporters of Wendy VitterIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“She is more like Lorena Bobbit than Hillary Clinton”