The Fattest Citizens in The Cuckoos Egg
World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."
 | Nation | WA Category | Motto | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. |  The Game Administrator's Realm of SalusaSecondus | Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy | “That which does not kill you only makes you stronger.” | |
| 2. |  The Kingdom of Mr Stalker | Corporate Police State Halliburton | “Never underestimate the King of Hell, darling.” | |
| 3. |  The Tim a of Puppet of Puppet of a Tim | Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors | “The Fire of the Phoenix Shall Burn” | |
| 4. |  The Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz of Insomniac Roavin | Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy | “No sleep until I have reinvented this damn wheel” | |
| 5. |  The Bosphorus Spanning City of Gawddamntinople | Corrupt Dictatorship Well-Meaning Dictatorship | “Can I have a yellow rose, please?” | |
| 6. |  The Matriarchy of Hysterical Females | Corrupt Dictatorship Well-Meaning Dictatorship | “Prozac, Xanax, Wine, and Chocolate!” | |
| 7. |  The Words of Jonathan Swift | Authoritarian Democracy Mouth-Breathing Creationists | “Seriously, seriously serious.” | |
| 8. |  The Cuckoo's of Krazie Karl | Moralistic Democracy Narrow-Minded Backwoodsy Bigots | “Held captive in the Cuckoo's Egg Again” | |
| 9. |  The Dominion of Root | Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors | “Root is God” | |
| 10. |  The Principality of Princesses Celestia and Luna | Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy | “Friendship is magic; barring that, there's lunar exile.” |
