by Max Barry

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The Rose Garden World Census

The Fattest Citizens in The Rose Garden

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The Rose Garden is ranked 5,981st in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Singing Peoples of Princess MagogoRight-wing Utopia Corrupt Thieving Uneducated Fascist Fundamentalists“Ngizokushaya Wena”
2.The Colony of Purple RosesInoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists“Cuivis dolori remedium est patientia.”
3.The Armed Republic of Kiravian Envoy EpsilonTyranny by Majority Tyranny by Bourgeois“You Stand Where You Sit”