by Max Barry

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The World World Census

The Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry in the World

The World Census measured the rate of desertification in order to calculate which nations have the largest timber industry.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Incorporated States of UniserveIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Our upstream provider did it!”
2.The Sadistic Republic of Bright AngelIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Get Outa Here!!”
3.The PS2 Puppet of AskatopiaPsychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship“Stop reading my motto!”
4.The Corporate Dictatorship of JosephlandCorporate Police State Halliburton“Oderint Dum Metuant”
5.The Popsicle Pete Nation of ClenchIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE!”
6.The Unassuming Puppet State of AmericadCorporate Police State Halliburton“An equal opportunity hate group.”
7.The Little Brotherhood of The Real MatrixIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Guns. Lots of guns.”
8.The Holy Empire of HaedliaIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“For the blessed nation!”
9.The Armed Republic of Knowwear in YoutopiaIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Give pea... ummm... war a chance.”
10.The Oppressive Oppressors of Israeli AirstrikesCorporate Police State Halliburton“Remember: We can always make it worse.”
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