by Max Barry

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The World World Census

The Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry in the World

The World Census measured the rate of desertification in order to calculate which nations have the largest timber industry.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The PS2 Puppet of AskatopiaPsychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship“Stop reading my motto!”
2.The Sadistic Republic of Bright AngelIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Get Outa Here!!”
3.The Corporate Dictatorship of JosephlandIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Oderint Dum Metuant”
4.The Unassuming Puppet State of AmericadIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“An equal opportunity hate group.”
5.The Popsicle Pete Nation of ClenchIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE!”
6.The Little Brotherhood of The Real MatrixIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Guns. Lots of guns.”
7.The Holy Empire of HaedliaIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“For the blessed nation!”
8.The Mysterious Airship of King CarlIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“No it is not”
9.The Armed Republic of Knowwear in YoutopiaIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Give pea... ummm... war a chance.”
10.The Very Large Safari Park of Los SantosIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Mata ai ni kurukarane”
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