by Max Barry

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Fast Issues: You Are The Law, With Less Delay

by Max Barry
Mon, 15 Feb 2016

Last week we learned the World Census is planning to unlock a treasure trove of new live data about the world's nations. Well, this set off a small firestorm, with people asking why an ancient, conservative organization with alleged paranormal dealings like the World Census can get all fast and modern while the rest of us are still doing this:

  1. Consider an issue.

  2. Make a decision.

  3. Come back tomorrow to see what the consequences are.

Now, in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with this. Fine leaders have raised great nations this way. Although, admittedly, it does require patience and a good memory, since you have to remember what everything in your nation looked like before.

Nevertheless, I'm not one to stand in the path of progress. Times are changing, it seems, and we need to get with them. So this will be happening:

  • Immediate legislation. When you make a decision, law will be enacted right away. That's right. No more waiting around for lawyers/senators/minions to get your Act together. Your will shall be done without delay.

  • Immediate feedback. Newspaper headlines and a talking point will be gathered from your citizens. Additionally, the new World Census real-time data stream will be hooked up, so you can study what just happened to your Kitten Softness Rating, or a World Census scale you actually care about.

  • Anytime issues. Currently, issues are painstakingly gathered from your citizens via twice-daily polling and delivered to your desk at the same time each day. Well forget that! Instead, issues will be wired straight to you wherever you are whenever they arise, which can be any time.

  • More issues. Life was simpler, back in the old days. National leaders only had to deal with the same thirty or so simple issues, over and over. That was all they could handle. But today there are nearly five hundred. This isn't actually part of any update. It's just the steady progression of life, as curated by your dedicated staff of issue editors. But I thought it was worth remarking on. That's a lot of issues.

  • More frequent issues. Your staff are careful not to bother you with more than two issues per day. But modern leaders can handle more stress, probably. So that will increase to four.

I should mention there's some chance the world may end because of this, or at least become difficult to access for a while. Some teething problems are to be expected when 145,000 nations modernize at once. I mean, some of those nations, not yours, the other ones, they're basically rubbing sticks together. Anyway, please bear with me, and resist the urge to execute your IT staff.

Tomorrow is a new dawn!*

* Not actually tomorrow. That's an expression. Probably around the end of the month.