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Corusconia wrote:

Guess who hopped on board the disappointment train!

choo choo

Attention, passengers, this is your conductor speaking! We will be moving shortly. Please keep a sharp watch on to your items throughout the journey. Wouldn’t want to lose that last bit of respect you’ve got left, now would you?

I’d like to give a brief reminder regarding the whereabouts of the bathrooms- they’re in the left compartment near the back of every train car. Can’t miss ‘em- not the way you missed the opportunity of your life, at least!

If you want an upgrade to first class on the disappointment train, don’t hesitate to ask! With a quick payment of just the shredded remains of your dignity, you can ride in style with all of our highly valued customers. Added benefits of an upgrade include depression and regret.

Snacks are available regardless of your riding class- purchase your fill and ward away that massive, seemingly aimless knot in your stomach.

Enjoy the trip! Next stop, nice little town called Purgatory.