by Max Barry

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Region: the South Pacific

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Poleski News Network, your local ever-uncorrupt, always unbiased, definitely not state-controlled channel. I'm your newsreader Bob, who is totally not paid unhealthy sums of money to read words from a teleprompter with font size 400.

Anyway, let's see here...font size 400 isn't big enough today we are discussing the talks between Poleande and a terrorist group called Mihaetpoleaan. Poleski ambassador to Terrorist Groups, Aime Schrewd, visited the cave which the terrorists resided. Sadly, he was finally killed in a very coincidental brick that fell off the roof of the cave. We are surprised that hasn't happened to him in the 56 trips he has taken to other terror organisations. Rest in pieces, brick. The leader of the Mihaetpoleaan, Le'dur of Mihaetpoleaan, says that they were not responsible for the death as they claimed the brick was cursed with sentient powers, murdering anyone it chooses. "It was entirely coincidence," says Le'dur, as he places a brick, suspiciously similar to the killer brick, on the roof of the cave.

Next up is sports. We took a random number generator to predict our scores for Copa South Pacifica if we're even qualifying. Let's see...4001...7911...273903...and 0. We have a chance of winning, says Chief Head Examiner About The Scores (CHEATS). Watch us play soccer/football, and hopefully, score those numbers, if it's possible.

See you next hour.

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