The Safest in 100 Nations of Conquest
World Census agents tested the sharpness of household objects, the softness of children's play equipment, and the survival rate of people taking late walks to determine how safe each nation is to visit.
As a region, 100 Nations of Conquest is ranked 16,276th in the world for Safest.
 | Nation | WA Category | Motto | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. |  The Blocked Colon of IrritableBowelSyndrome | Corrupt Dictatorship Well-Meaning Dictatorship | “Death to those who are askin' for it.” | |
| 2. |  The Unpleasantness of Cellulite | Psychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship | “Yikes!” | |
| 3. |  The Portly Poultry of Plump Hen | Tyranny by Majority Tyranny by Bourgeois | “Get the cluck out of here.” | |
| 4. |  The Splotchiness of Chromatophore | Liberal Democratic Socialists Open-Minded Education State | “United colors.” | |
| 5. |  The Friendly Game of Dogs Playing Poker | Left-wing Utopia Utopia | “Deuces high.” | |
| 6. |  The Sultanate of Sliced Lunchmeat | Liberal Democratic Socialists Open-Minded Education State | “The best thing since sliced bread.” | |
| 7. |  The Allied States of Tubular Joint | Inoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists | “The building blocks of human society.” | |
| 8. |  The Scorched Earth of Ommastrephes | Psychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship | “I will violate you.” | |
| 9. |  The Republic of Apolitica | Inoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists | “No.” | |
| 10. |  The Most Serene Republic of Oceanus Procellarum | Inoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists | “In the name of the moon, I will punish you!” |
