The Bar on the corner of every region Board

Howard beale wrote:

He writes this down and tells Brocklandia to send the dog with the order

Howard slides down the bar to him

Hi! Yes, this is a bar! A pretty good one. Can I get you a refill of cider or a different drink? Some food?

Welcome! Can I get you a drink?

smiles, looking over him/her Yes, please. Do you have any wine?

Howard beale

Edited

Arnotistan wrote:

*take a seat*

places a coaster down,

Hello, what brings you to the Bar?

Zany Zanes and Howard beale

Mindon

Brocklandia wrote:

Wait. You two remember that Duncan the delivery doggo is now Duncan the deceased doggo, right? Why not just leave the body in the meat locker for Cheffy's use, rather than making me haul it over to tables or over to some lab? I mean, I'm a janitor, not a Uber driver for dead dogs. Or for live dogs too, for that matter. I'm pretty sure Uber has higher standards that I don't meat ... er, meet.

I could send one of the more.... tame monsters within our facility to deliver things for you. Just be sure to feed it with blood and guts every so often and it will do whatever you request of it. I'm sure you have plenty of that around, especially considering the special.

Serkin wrote:

smiles, looking over him/her Yes, please. Do you have any wine?

Surprisingly, since we're a bar, yes, we do. Do you prefer white, red, rosé? Or if solids aren't to your taste, how about this polka dot one?--It comes in "mildly radioactive" and "instant cancer" strengths.

Zany Zanes

Mindon wrote:

Yup, we have a whole meat locker full of dead customers, and lately they've been dropping nearly as fast as we can stash the bodies. Oh, and your monster is welcome to the offal Cheffy tosses into the dumpster out back too, if it wants extra snacks.

Mindon

Brocklandia wrote:

Allright. What do you want said monster to look like? We've captured, created, and changed so many monsters that it is very likely we have something to fit your preferences.

Carlist new chimanguacaro

Hello, everyone.

Brocklandia, Drunkndisorderly, and Zany Zanes

Carlist new chimanguacaro wrote:

Hello, everyone.

Hello, hello, hello...

A shadow detaches from the wall.

Can I get you a drink this fine evening?

Carlist new chimanguacaro

The Impending Doom of Zombie Penguins

Zany Zanes wrote:

Hello, hello, hello...

A shadow detaches from the wall.

Can I get you a drink this fine evening?

I'd like a glass of your best champagne. Also, may you play a "Como Es Posible Que A Mi Lado" on the jukebox? Thanks.

*A zombie takes away Reggie reginald while another grabs The candy thieving weasel and some leftover candy*

Brocklandia, Drunkndisorderly, and Zany Zanes

Arnotistan

KAISERREICH

Drunkndisorderly wrote:

places a coaster down,

Hello, what brings you to the Bar?

Deuterium Tea

Drunkndisorderly

Carlist new chimanguacaro wrote:

I'd like a glass of your best champagne. Also, may you play a "Como Es Posible Que A Mi Lado" on the jukebox? Thanks.

Tosses a coin to the jukebox and peruses the champagne collection with a studious eye before shrugging and grabbing a bottle at random. Pouring a glass they slide the drink to the customer with a sharp grin.

Enjoy!

Jehovahs witness

The Witness stirs from one of their longer naps and looks around.

I'm noticing a distressing lack of wackiness involving horrific sights no regular human should see. I'll rectify that.

They snap their fingers, and two drones come in, carrying a scared-looking accountant.

Waterboard him with the tap water. Don't stop until something explodes.

The drones carry off the screaming accountant to do the bidding of their employer.

Much better.

Zombie Penguins, Zany Zanes, and Howard beale

Arnotistan wrote:

Deuterium Tea

hot, on fire, or iced?

All come with a complimentary Alligator tail swizzle stick. Really, its free.

Zany Zanes and Howard beale

Carlist new chimanguacaro

Zany Zanes wrote:

Enjoy!

Thanks for the drink.

Zany Zanes

Carlist new chimanguacaro wrote:

I'd like a glass of your best champagne.

Why doesn't anyone ever ask for a glass of our worst champagne? Gosh, we'd need hours to determine which one is the worst. Probably the Ripple Cham-Pain-ge, vintage this morning. That one keeps eating through every bottle we store it in.

Zany Zanes

Edited

Jehovahs witness wrote:

[i]TWaterboard him with the tap water. Don't stop until something explodes.

What's likely to explode first is the water. Our tap water is both chemically and emotionally unstable.

Just don't allow the water near firearms, sharp objects, living organisms, shoe polish, or other weapons of mass destruction.

Zany Zanes and Anacin

Anacin

Brocklandia wrote:

What's likely to explode first is the water. Our tap water is both chemically and emotionally unstable.

Just don't allow the water near firearms, sharp objects, living organisms, shoe polish, or other weapons of mass destruction.

What the Hell. I Leave for one day to go on Va-cay. This better be justifiable

Arnotistan

Interstellar

Drunkndisorderly wrote:

hot, on fire, or iced?

All come with a complimentary Alligator tail swizzle stick. Really, its free.

Iced

Drunkndisorderly

Brocklandia wrote:

What's likely to explode first is the water. Our tap water is both chemically and emotionally unstable.

Just don't allow the water near firearms, sharp objects, living organisms, shoe polish, or other weapons of mass destruction.

Or therapists. But that's just because they like to take it on as some kind of case study and they never pick up after themselves.

Sweeps up a pile of scattered papers with illegible script spattered across the surfaces. As the broom passes in front of a particularly shadowed table with various glasses, books, and journals, a pale hand swipes at the cleaning device followed by harsh whispers and unintelligibly hysterical nonsense. The hand is swatted away and after a bout of hissing disappears.

Arnotistan wrote:

Iced

Here you are, enjoy.

Arnotistan

Carlist new chimanguacaro

Hello, again.

Drunkndisorderly and Zany Zanes

Mindon

Mindon wrote:

Allright. What do you want said monster to look like? We've captured, created, and changed so many monsters that it is very likely we have something to fit your preferences.

Brocklandia wrote:

What's likely to explode first is the water. Our tap water is both chemically and emotionally unstable.

Just don't allow the water near firearms, sharp objects, living organisms, shoe polish, or other weapons of mass destruction.

Okay first of all, you should really get that checked out or at least try using it to blow up any competing businesses, secondly, you seem to be a bit too busy to specify what monster you want, so I'll just fax over some of the random profiles. How about this one, Specimen 245. Faxing over the documentation now. *The document appears to print out of thin air in front of Brocklandia*

Specimen 245: A heavily mutated dog cat ferret fish ice cream flavor unknown organism. Appears to be domesticated, capable of tasks ranging from delivery to assassination. May take victims into its nest and parasitize them, controlling their body and using it for its own ends. This can be cured via administration of large amounts of alcohol, following by the application of a frying pan to the forehead. No parasitized victims remain at this time.

Carlist new chimanguacaro wrote:

Hello, again.

Looks up from sweeping to scrutinize the customer.

Hello. Can I get you a drink?