«12. . .9,9019,9029,9039,9049,9059,9069,907. . .12,19812,199»
Post by Brestivtiks suppressed by Fuentana.
What the heck you Capitalism I Revelation you
Post by New skithia suppressed by Fuentana.
Goodness
*sips coffee*
I play golf with the proprietor of the local fireworks super stores, literally 30k square feet of fireworks in three different stores, along with warehouses to have more on hand just in case.
They sold out this year for the first time ever, they've been open since 1958.
The AB distributor sold out of beer, all the stores were sold out of bagged ice.
I bet no one is calling in today round here...
Bhang Bhang Duc, Fuentana, The grandest empire, and Tringapore
TODAY IN THE WEST
It's Punday Monday! Must. Have. More. Puns!
It's also a day for foodies: it is Fried Chicken Day and Hand Roll Day! Maybe some food puns today?
Apparently it is also International Kissing Day but that might not work too well these days.
Later this week we'll have info on a great upcoming event with our friends in Balder.
Finally, a reminder to new or recent nations to review our RMB Etiquette. Remember that our RMB is not a chat room but a message board. You can join our Discord and have great rapid exchanges there. After you read this, upvote it please!
We ask you to follow these rules: most are common sense and basic courtesy.
Remember that the 
NationStates Site Rules apply at all times too.
Residents of The West Pacific are shown more leniency in regards to these rules, especially new nations.
Visitors are also welcome, but they are expected to read the rules when entering and will be shown less leniency.
Breaking these rules can result in warning, suppression, or banjection; with immediate banjection for serious offenses.
Do's
Be careful with quotes: Replace their content with -snip- when dealing with long or rule-breaking posts, but do not alter their content in any other way.
Be patient: This is a worldwide game played in people's spare time. Understand that your post might not get a response in a timely fashion.
Respect everyone: Always be courteous and respectful to your fellow players. Flaming, baiting, trolling, harassment and the like result in banjection.
Stay calm: Discussion is encouraged, but if things get heated during a debate, step away from the keyboard.
Speak English: English is the language of NationStates, so please use it or provide an English translation for your fellow regionmates.
Take time to read: If you ask a question and are directed to look it up somewhere, look it up instead of demanding a full page answer.
Welcome new nations: New nations should have their greetings and queries answered in a friendly manner and be encouraged to get involved.
Don'ts
No advertising: This includes dispatches, factbooks, polls, events, and of course recruitment, unless permission is given by the Delegate.
No asking for endorsements: Endorse other nations to be endorsed back, instead of asking in the RMB.
No double posting: You should always use the Edit button at the bottom right of your post to add more information.
No feeding the trolls: Instead of giving attention, notify the Delegate and Guardians (you can ping in the Discord Server) and wait for them to act.
No inappropriate content: Examples include but are certainly not limited to homophobia, racism, sexism, fascism, nazism, and non-PG-13 content.
No puppetwanking: Don't use puppets to ban evade, like your own posts, or create false conversations.
No real life politics: We're here to have fun playing NationStates, not to get stressed in political discussions.
No roleplaying: We have dedicated roleplay areas in offsite platforms, you can read more in the Map & Roleplay dispatch.
No rules-lawyering: If you are unhappy with a Delegate or Guardian decision, telegram them instead of complaining in the RMB.
No spamming: Messages with meaningless content will be suppressed, with immediate banjection for accounts created for spam.
TWP
Gryphonian Alliance, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Bran Astor, The unified missourtama states, and 3 othersZoran, Loller corleone, and Bobki
Went to the wrong group therapy session a couple of days ago. I asked, "Am I in the 'Obsessive Behaviours' room?". "No", they replied. "Your in 'Dependance'.".
*coffee*
Bhang Bhang Duc and Fuentana
I'm sorry, but I don't get it. Enlighten me, please.
The other day I saw a man spill his Scrabble set in the road, so I asked him “what’s the word on the street?”
Wickedly evil people, Cro Magnon, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Numpties, and 4 othersFuentana, The grandest empire, Ostellan, and Zoran
What happened to the guy who sued over his missing luggage? He lost his case.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
What did the volcano say to his wife? I lava you.
Bhang Bhang Duc, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Numpties, Fuentana, and 4 othersOstellan, Nas Crustium, Willow Gate, and Tringapore
What did Dali say to the rainbow hammer?
Timber away.
Bhang Bhang Duc, Numpties, Fuentana, Giovanniland, and 2 othersVaranius, and Ostellan
Post by Ankaba suppressed by 
Overthinkers.
Heil Ankaba.
Hows it going
Howdy pardners
Welcome new folks! Take advantage of our light reading to avoid being stabbed by unicorns or eaten by werechihuahuas.
New Player's Guide to The West Pacific
by 
The Impeccably Arranged Snark of The West Pacific Master Dispatch
Delegate & World Assembly Recruitment:
Overthinkers @weirdoxvii
TWPAF:
Teralyon@.zafo
Foreign Affairs:
Varanius@tertiaryantagonist
Cultural Trust:
Fujai@smithy876
Regional Guides:
Zoran@oblivionwind
Congratulations! Your nation has made its way to NationStates' premier meritocracy! In this guide you'll find all you need to navigate this game and get involved in our community here in the West Pacific.
TWP Quick Links: The West Pacific ● Join the Discord Server! ● Regional Forums ● Master Dispatch
What is NationStates?
NationStates (NS) is a nation simulation game where we, the players, run nations and band together in regions to have a good time.
First and foremost, there is your individual nation. This is what you see with when you login to NS. You have the authority to govern it as you see fit by answering issues, which change your laws, statistics, and rankings. These can be found using the different symbol tabs on your nation page.
You can also join the World Assembly, get to know the people of TWP, apply for regional citizenship, and join the regional government, which you'll read about in the next few sections.
Regions and the World Assembly
Every nation is a part of a region, and like you, they start out in one of the five Pacific regions. Most regions have their own systems of government that have been created by the players who live there. Each region is headed by a Delegate, the nation with the most World Assembly endorsements.
The World Assembly (WA) is similar to the United Nations in the real world. In this body, resolutions and laws are passed that all WA member nations must abide by. Please join the World Assembly to help secure your new home and raise its influence on the world stage!
Once you have joined the WA, you may vote on proposals in the General Assembly (GA) and Security Council (SC), and endorse other TWP nations. Please note that you are only allowed to have one nation in WA.
As mentioned earlier, the nation with the most endorsements in a region is the Delegate, gaining executive power in the region. For those reasons, it's extremely important to join the WA and endorse our Delegate Overthinkers & the Guardians.
In order to endorse a nation after you join the WA, find their page and then scroll to the bottom, where there will be a button to endorse.
If you have any further questions about NationStates you can send a telegram to our current Delegate, Overthinkers. She’s a great person and will kindly help with and questions or concerns you may have!
All about The West Pacific!
Here in The West Pacific, we use a meritocratic system of government with the Delegate at its head. The more active you are in the region and the more capable you show yourself to be, the more opportunities you will get for responsibility and advancement.
Because of this, we are one of the most continuously innovative regions in the game. The regional government is made up of the Delegate, the Guardians, Ministers, Deputy Ministers, and staff. All positions are appointed by the Delegate based on merit except for the Speaker of the Hall and the Hall of Nations Guardian, who are elected by the members of the Hall of Nations.
Members of the Hall of Nations are citizens of The West Pacific. You can join by making an account on our forums, filling the citizenship form, and repeating the citizenship oath.
Your application will be processed as soon as possible. While you wait, it's a good idea to talk on the Regional Message Board and get to know our Discord community.
After being accepted as a citizen, you can join one of TWP's government ministries to get more involved!
Getting involved!
The Ministry of Foreign Affairs (FA) is all about developing relations with other regions, especially allied regions, and spreading our culture abroad!
Send a telegram or message to the FA Deputy Minister Hertfordshire and Jammbo at @snowsageclarkov to apply!
The West Pacific Armed Forces (TWPAF) is a sovereign military that offers raider and defender operations by using endorsements to take over or defend other regions!
- Submit an application in the forum thread, join the TWPAF Discord Server and be ready for training once accepted!
The Office of Recruitment recruits new nations to move to the West Pacific!
Send a telegram or message to the Director of Recruitment Noton Mast at @quadc to apply!
The Ministry of World Assembly and Recruitment (WAR) has the goal of strengthening The West Pacific in the World Assembly and encouraging regional involvement in the WA!
Send a telegram or message to the Delegate Overthinkers at @weirdoxvii to apply!
The Regional Guides are tasked with welcoming new players and getting them comfortable and involved in the regional community!
Send a telegram or message to the Head Regional Guide Zoran at @oblivionwind to apply!
The Western Post is the official newspaper of The West Pacific and reports on a wide range of topics, from serious to lighthearted and everything in between!
Send a telegram or message to the Editor-in-Chief Giovanniland at @.giovanni_ to apply!
The Cultural Trust is the home of regional culture, composed of several independent cultural communities!
Check this dispatch for information on each community: Card Club, News Group, The West on the Waves, Roleplay Community, Fine Arts Society, and West Pacific Gaming!
For more detailed information on each of our Ministries, please check the How to Get Involved in TWP dispatch.
Would you like to know more?
You can find our regional hub, the forums, here.
We also have an active discord server that you can join here. This is where you can find the contacts mentioned above in the volunteer group list.
Congratulations, you made it to the end! Enjoy your stay in The West Pacific!
TWP
Yy4u, Bhang Bhang Duc, Ostellan, and Zoran
Or launched from a trebuchet by a very grumpy Welshman.
Yy4u, Overthinkers, and Zoran
My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
Bhang Bhang Duc, Wickedly evil people, Bran Astor, Fuzzy iridescent oroboros, and 5 othersThe unified missourtama states, Ostellan, Vodland, Nas Crustium, and Willow Gate
In case you don't already know it, and very early for karaoke Friday, Lava: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh4dTLJ9q9o
Now it's funny you should say that as...
I used to build stairs for a living. Business was up and down...
... I had to sell the business because I don't trust staircases. They're always up to something...
... So now I'm taking part in a stair climbing competition. I need to step up my game.
- - - - -
And to finish this Punday Monday...
The God of Storms rode out one day,
Upon a handsome filly.
"I'm Thor", he cried.
The horse replied,
"You forgot your thaddle, thilly"
😁
Bhang Bhang Duc, Wickedly evil people, Papercuts and Skittles, Recuecn, and 7 othersThe Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Bran Astor, Fuentana, Fuzzy iridescent oroboros, Ostellan, Locksley Hall, and Raverinsus
Post by Doll sacrifice suppressed by 
Bhang Bhang Duc.
Doll
The fellow who invented the lift was quickly elevated to high status.
Bhang Bhang Duc, Wickedly evil people, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Numpties, and 4 othersFuentana, Ostellan, Ibelin secundus, and Raverinsus
“Oh look” said Harry, “Kant* is smoking a spliff.”
“Yes” said Hermione, “The philosopher’s stoned.”
(*I had to use Kant as I wasn’t sure how to spell Wittgenstein.)
Wickedly evil people, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Numpties, Fuentana, and 2 othersAluminum Oxynitride, and Raverinsus
You got Wittgenstein just right :)
Speaking of language games. What's the secret to telling bad cooking jokes?
Delivering them deadpan.
Bhang Bhang Duc, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, Numpties, Bran Astor, and 1 otherRaverinsus
My pet fish are named Major, Minor, Dorian, Lydian, and Diminished. The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales
Bhang Bhang Duc, Wickedly evil people, Recuecn, The Holy Principality of Saint Mark, and 6 othersNumpties, Bran Astor, Fuentana, The unified missourtama states, Ostellan, and The democratic republic of eons
I would have gone for the obvious "Nietzsche", and easy to spell to. 😛
Still an awesome joke.
.
P.S.
Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting in a French café, revising his draft of 'Being and Nothingness'. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”
Bhang Bhang Duc, Wickedly evil people, Fuentana, Willow Gate, and 1 otherLocksley Hall
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