The Federal Kingdom of Canineia is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by King Fluffy with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.305 billion Canineians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous government prioritizes Healthcare, although Law & Order, Education, and Defense are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Canidae Harbour. The average income tax rate is 71.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Canineian economy, worth 445 trillion Bones a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 53,657 Bones, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prisons are filled with the cackles and sobs of a deranged inmate population, workers have their fruitcake and eat it too, Canine sanctuaries have been taken over by hydraulic fracturing sites, and political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Canineia's national animal is the Canine, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Satanism.

Canineia is ranked 252,007^th in the world and 60^th in Saint Helene for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -6.93 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.