Population | 26.953 billion |
Capital | יְרוּשָׁלַיִם |
Leader | Benjamin Satanyahu |
Faith | Satanism |
Currency | שקל |
Animal | gazelle |
The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 26.953 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.
The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Defense is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.
The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 23,809 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 883,379 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,240,487 per year while the poor average 8,374, a ratio of 984 to 1.
People all over EretzIsrael are dying of 'Mad Gazelle Disease', citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens, passengers often cause a stink on public transport, and fiscal policy hawks decry the sizable "panem et circenses" fund added to the public budget. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.
EretzIsrael is ranked 40th in the world and 2nd in The North Pacific for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 1,916.18 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, fiscal policy hawks decry the sizable "panem et circenses" fund added to the public budget.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, passengers often cause a stink on public transport.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, people all over EretzIsrael are dying of 'Mad Gazelle Disease'.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, assault rifles sized for 7-year-olds are a frighteningly popular export.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, brazen mayors claim official expenses to pay for their drug habits.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, photos of picturesque coastal buildings are set against a backdrop of smokestacks and ship hulls.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, human sacrifice to the metaphorical altar of Mammon ensures national prosperity.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, EretzIsraelian athletes are close to breaking the 2 minute mile and the 16 meter long jump.
- : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability.