The Army of Stretchington is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by General Stretch with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, rampant corporate plagiarism, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.354 billion Stretchingtonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order and Education are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beaverton. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Stretchingtonian economy, worth an astonishing 10,395 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 465,052 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet, quiet professionalism has returned to the nation's armed forces, and blasphemers and government critics often die in very unusual and unlikely accidents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stretchington's national animal is the blackhawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cult of Stretch.

Stretchington is ranked 290,406^th in the world and 17^th in The LCRUA for Highest Food Quality, scoring 2.76 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.