The Democracy of Merni is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Xaranas IV with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, frequent executions, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, humorless population of 17.337 billion Mernians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Qersi. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The thriving Mernian economy, worth a remarkable 2,465 trillion koras a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. Average income is an impressive 142,211 koras, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Contemporary art museums showcase the latest in centuries-old art, daring to agree with another politician is grounds for instant dismissal, arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated, and Emperor Xaranas IV is called 'Patches' at international summits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merni's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Merni is ranked 1,561^st in the world and 2^nd in The Labyrinth for Lowest Crime Rates, with 154.02 law-abiding acts per hour.