The United Republic of Belslavia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Rurik with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, cynical population of 6.361 billion Belslavians are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Basilis. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Belslavian economy, worth 965 trillion Belslavian Hojs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is an impressive 151,843 Belslavian Hojs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People are raising their middle finger to non-digital currencies, the Belslavian delegation to the World Assembly is having a hard time convincing people that international law will "pay for itself somehow...", endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass, and the official Belslavian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Belslavia's national animal is the Red Buzzard, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Western Orthodoxy.

Belslavia is ranked 125,918^th in the world and 3^rd in Runaway Spazegamer Creek for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,834.3 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.