The Most Serene Republic of R ails is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Most Royal Emperor with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory vegetarianism, enslaved workforce, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.35 billion R ailsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid receives no funds. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The very strong R ailsian economy, worth a remarkable 3,134 trillion Spikes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 253,814 Spikes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Most academic research has ground to a halt, children often kick Trains for amusement, it is illegal to carry an umbrella when the official weather forecast predicts a sunny day, and pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. R ails's national animal is the Train, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

R ails is ranked 2,763^rd in the world and 128^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 133.08 law-abiding acts per hour.