The State of Soomaalija is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 16.439 billion Soomaalijans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.6%.

The thriving Soomaalijan economy, worth a remarkable 1,045 trillion betales a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Average income is 63,588 betales, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 225,083 per year while the poor average 12,970, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

Soomaalija has designated District City as its capital city. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Soomaalija's national animal is the deer, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Soomaalija is ranked 201,868^th in the world and 6^th in Somalia for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -2.12 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.