The Assimilator of Everything of The Crowned Growth is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by The Crowned Growth with an even hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The devout population of 9.523 billion Crowned Growthians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The White Door. The average income tax rate is 51.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Crowned Growthian economy, worth 555 trillion Spintrias a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Tourism, Woodchip Exports, Trout Farming, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 58,376 Spintrias, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Some are born loving old plays and some have old plays thrust upon them, stony-faced prosecutors play loud gangster rap music during court proceedings, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, and escargots have lost their charm ever since they started to be called 'cooked land snails'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Crowned Growth's national animal is the Crowned Growth and its national religion is Assimilation.

The Crowned Growth is ranked 41,474^th in the world and 3^rd in The Mansus for Most Patriotic, with 31.54 flags saluted per person per day.