The Albertan Patriots of The Nintendo Emerates is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Most Glorious Gamer Sean with an even hand, and notable for its parental licensing program, unlimited-speed roads, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 43.849 billion Nintendo Emeratesians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fairfax. The average income tax rate is 20.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nintendo Emeratesian economy, worth an astonishing 16,262 trillion Meal Plans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 370,881 Meal Plans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, immigrants who carry knives on them are presumed to be chefs, motels cater primarily to adulterers, and out-of-work actors say they can't complain. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. The Nintendo Emerates's national animal is the Gunston, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Nintendo Emerates is ranked 286,161^st in the world and 5^th in Alberta for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 0.82 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.