The Crashed Spaceship of The Salaxians is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Svlad Cjelli with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, state-planned economy, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.417 billion Salaxians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rime. The average income tax rate is 85.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Salaxalansian economy, worth a remarkable 2,868 trillion Dirks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Uranium Mining, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 122,476 Dirks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's nuclear defence policy is to "turn the other cheek", newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names, relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly, and political commentators say that Svlad Cjelli's fruitcake plans are about to go pear-shaped. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Salaxians's national animal is the Electric Monk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Chronology.

The Salaxians is ranked 280,879^th in the world and 132^nd in Spiritus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 5.58 pounds of wildlife per square mile.