List Of Legislation (18/3/2016 - 22/4/2020)

17/3/2016:

778. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, anniversaries of major historical events pass unnoticed.

779. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, healthcare funding has been cut.

780. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's leading climatologists are investigating animal flatulence in efforts to reduce methane emissions.

781. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the lowest age at which one can marry has been recently lowered to 12.

18/3/2016:

782. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government helps teach children how to kill a man from six paces.

783. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak.

784. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government's suicide hotline now redirects callers to local tax lawyers.

19/3/2016:

785. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, re-education centers are being added to most prisons.

786. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, military funding has been stripped back.

787. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, brazen mayors claim official expenses to pay for their drug habits.

788. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the only places to see Owls now are at local zoos.

20/3/2016:

789. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, rag-wearing teachers are often mistaken for homeless people.

790. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, long arduous trials are held for the most trivial of offences.

791. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has an "easy come, easy go" policy on youth crime.

792. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, murder rates are on the rise as the popularity of soylent products grows.

793. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tourists flock from around the world to see Wizlandia's famed 'rainbow slums'.

21/3/2016:

794. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is loathed abroad for dumping all of its waste in international waters.

795. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway.

796. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the streets are increasingly clogged with poverty-stricken beggars.

797. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, all tariffs have been abolished.

22/3/2016:

798. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the art of conversation has been rediscovered.

799. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Coco the Clown has been elected to the nation's parliament.

800. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens.

23/3/2016:

801. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, 'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song.

802. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a punitive tax has been placed on harmful emissions.

803. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the children of Wizlandia are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence.

804. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia is notorious for its citizens' infidelity.

805. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume.

24/3/2016:

806. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, chalkboards are replaced with billboards in the classroom.

807. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Owl is one of the most popular forenames in Wizlandia.

808. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations.

809. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has enacted freedom of information.

25/3/2016:

810. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, artists are pillars of society.

811. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fur coats have become the latest fashion trend.

812. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, skateparks can be found in every city.

26/3/2016:

813. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's image rights are the strictest in the world.

814. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Lorenvia Times is sold out.

815. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the CEO of Laws Incorporated must sign off on all new bills.

816. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, anti-government web sites are springing up.

27/3/2016:

817. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fraternities are notorious for drunken hooliganism.

818. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws.

819. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, men avoid even so much as looking at female colleagues.

28/3/2016:

820. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, concert pianists lie about their occupation to avoid ridicule.

821. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, same-sex marriages are increasingly common.

822. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure.

823. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced.

29/3/2016:

824. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, truth is often impossible to tell from fiction on the evening news.

825. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crime is on the rise as DNA sampling has been all but outlawed.

826. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the military has had to quell a recent insurrection by uninsured revolutionaries.

827. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government.

30/3/2016:

828. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign governments are looking into weaponizing the infamous Wizlandian bee.

829. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues.

830. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion.

831. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, corporations donate huge sums of money to favored politicians.

832. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the wreckages of bombed planes that litter Wizlandia are highly popular tourist destinations.

31/3/2016:

833. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is trying to clean up all the rubbish that has washed up on the shores of Bigtopia and Marche Noire.

834. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas.

835. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is currently revamping its entire education system.

836. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, idyllic countryside scenes see border collies herding sixty-ton dinosaurs.

1/4/2016:

837. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous.

838. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.

839. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is outsourcing itself.

840. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has completely eliminated all childcare programs.

2/4/2016:

841. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, inheritance tax has recently been abolished.

842. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events.

843. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Animal Liberationists are regularly jailed.

844. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Jennifer Government is a bestseller.

3/4/2016:

845. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a girl's success in life is often linked to her performance in beauty pageants.

846. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event.

847. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, polling place volunteers are suddenly opening a huge number of offshore bank accounts.

848. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia is building an army to protect its overseas territories.

4/4/2016:

849. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation.

850. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, calling out of the blue has become taboo.

851. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, waste is frequently shipped to other countries.

852. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nanny industry has had a boom after maternity leave was recently banned.

5/4/2016:

853. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, wealthy parents-to-be can select their perfect baby.

854. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads.

855. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, nude art is becoming wildly popular.

856. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy.

6/4/2016:

857. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the police strictly enforce off-limit zones for tourists.

858. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, billions are being spent on a new island airport.

859. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.

7/4/2016:

860. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has undertaken a massive education and health program to combat VODAIS.

861. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field.

862. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, visitors to the famed rainforests are instead taken to vast furniture factories.

863. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, thousands of former welfare recipients are in a revolutionary uproar as the rest of society is enjoying a hefty tax break.

864. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses.

8/4/2016:

865. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has little issue with allowing its citizens to languish in foreign jails.

866. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, morning coffees are no longer the same since the disappearance of newspapers.

867. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens simply have to point a weapon at a government official to get what they want.

9/4/2016:

868. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, almost half of the child population live rough on the streets.

869. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, consuming ecstasy is a common rite of passage.

870. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens are allowed to rise or fall based on their own merits.

871. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, senior citizens can usually be found doing heavy manual labour.

872. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, residents of newly dried out bays live in fear of leaky dikes.

10/4/2016:

873. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, inter-species marriages are ignored by the government.

874. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, legislation sometimes has to battle through weeks of filibustering to pass.

875. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner.

11/4/2016:

876. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, town welcome signs list corporate sponsors.

877. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the people are famous throughout the region for their bleached-white teeth.

878. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, prices fluctuate manically for no fathomable reason.

879. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is known abroad mostly for its Parliamentary antics.

10/7/2017:

880. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, university graduates and new home-owners toil in labour camps to work off their debts.

881. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region.

882. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms.

883. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, trespassers entering Chief Executive Alex Kocian's office are immediately vaporized.

884. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, surveillance cameras are banned.

885. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, rural communities are all but disenfranchised as politicians focus all their attention on winning the deciding urban votes.

11/7/2017:

886. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence.

887. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tourists visit Wizlandia to mass-moon Wizlandian politicians.

888. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, royalist is the most offensive slur in the Wizlandian language.

889. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, where your food came from is an unknowable mystery.

12/7/2017:

890. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, proprietary charger leads are now a pain for electric cars as well as cellphones.

891. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, no-one can foil the ambitions of Big Aluminium.

892. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, conversion therapy coupons are a popular present for coming of age ceremonies.

893. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, meteorologists are instantly recognizable from their luxury cars and jewelry.

13/7/2017:

894. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tuba players are paid to quietly whisper into their instruments.

895. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teenage male videogamers often suffer repetitive strain wrist injuries.

896. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss.

14/7/2017:

897. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cancer rates amongst the richest in society are inexplicably on the rise.

898. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign policy is mostly just to smile and hope for the best.

899. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, one year's corporation tax from three international megacorporations has funded one dozen shiny black pencils for Chief Executive Alex Kocian's office.

900. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, having skeletons in one's closet is no longer just a macabre idiom.

15/7/2017:

901. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, both illness and poverty are seen as signs of low moral worth.

16/7/2017:

902. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, civil servants are no longer allowed to cross their t's.

903. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crime is on the rise as online youths compete to vlog the most shocking scenes of violence.

904. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Alex Kocian's power is effectively nullified as no bill becomes law without the upper house's support.

905. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high.

906. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Alex Kocian's speeches are beloved by insomniacs.

907. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, giant no-kill traps baited with Bapst Red Ribbon and vintage bicycles have been popping up in back alleys nationwide.

908. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tourists often cite 'hiding money in an off-shore banking account' as their main reason to visit the nation.

909. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is constantly producing new maps to accommodate the continual renaming of cities.

17/7/2017:

910. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance".

911. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, international collectors know that a grease-stain on a work of art probably means it's passed through Wizlandia.

912. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares.

18/7/2017:

913. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, visions of giant pink Owls are a common side effect after Wizlandians eat their meals.

914. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation leads Wizlandian Commonwealth for unlikely accidents and truffle consumption.

915. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions.

916. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept.

917. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, directors of low-budget sci-fi films are flocking to use Lorenvia as a backdrop.

19/7/2017:

918. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, every new toxic waste dump comes with a seal of approval from the government's science advisor.

919. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is avowedly secular.

920. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, atheists on vacation find Neoliberalism's scriptures make useful doorstops.

20/7/2017:

921. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, schools offer a range of lessons in subjects as diverse as The Economics of Bullying for Lunch Money.

922. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, for the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs.

923. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, in its new More is More campaign the government advertises obese men and women posing coquettishly with baked goods to spare their blushes.

924. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, production of license plates has dropped as prisoners' hands are far too greasy to operate machinery.

21/7/2017:

925. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new 'Who Wants To Be A Politician' election debate auditions are more popular than the debates themselves.

926. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government's stance on marriage is 'Let Wizlandians marry themselves'.

927. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, East Lebatuckese astronauts' favorite game during downtime on the Multinational Space Station is 'I Spy'.

928. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, murder is sanctioned if the legal paperwork is filled out correctly.

929. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a third of Wizlandians are e-certified CEOs.

22/7/2017:

930. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts.

931. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians tend to jump ship to whichever party is currently leading in the polls.

932. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League.

933. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it turns out that money can buy you happiness.

23/7/2017:

934. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the endangered saltwater humpback Owl is only seen in captivity programs.

935. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears.

936. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, witnesses have to run a gauntlet of mob enforcers to testify at trials.

24/7/2017:

937. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, machine-peeled candied grapes come in individual packaging for the busy commuter.

938. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders.

939. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, commemorative mugs remembering last year's Black Friday Crockery Riots are a best seller this year.

940. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius'.

25/7/2017:

941. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, employers are never quite sure if graduates' qualifications have any merit or meaning.

942. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers.

943. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, entire families are dragged into counseling whenever children fight on a playground.

944. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, historic buildings are being demolished to allow for road-widening in the city centre.

945. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, election results are often delayed for weeks to count the expat votes.

26/7/2017:

946. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bike rage is all the rage.

947. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a light facial coating of soot is seen as the mark of an honest and hardworking man.

948. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Alex Kocian's iHouse is so intelligent that it manages its own social media accounts.

949. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles.

27/7/2017:

950. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions.

951. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, snooze factory is now prison lingo for rehabilitation center.

952. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens cannot change their light bulbs without approval from an international committee.

28/7/2017:

951. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, disadvantaged youths often commit felonies to enhance their educational prospects.

952. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, elections are won by the candidate who makes the best 'yo mama' jokes.

953. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, debate rages over whether ground fish guts can be spread on fields.

954. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, scientists are researching the best way to kill off humanity to prevent catastrophic war.

955. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing.

29/7/2017:

956. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, robosexual marriages are increasingly common.

957. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the police have taken to prying guns out of the cold fingers of Wizlandians.

958. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandians are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks.

31/7/2017:

959. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, food voucher forgeries are causing headaches for the police.

960. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's interest in space is at an all-time high while interest in saving the planet is at an all-time low.

961. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside.

962. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children often explain to their parents that the Mega Ultimate Sword Fist was worth the thousand-Wizcoin charge on their phone bill.

963. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, amusement park rides frequently collapse due to lack of maintenance.

1/8/2017:

964. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament.

965. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there is a growing belief that consciousness is a simulated illusion within a computer-generated reality.

966. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the police are destroying all photographic evidence of their own existence.

2/8/2017:

967. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, prisons are filled with the cackles and sobs of a deranged inmate population.

968. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school lessons are constantly interrupted by 'teacher needs a break' time.

969. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of Wizlandian Embarrassments.

970. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized.

971. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens complain about a burning sensation after bathing.

972. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, stoned tourists don't tend to remember much about their holidays here.

4/8/2017:

973. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a Wizlandian Commonwealth Tourist Association survey has rated Wizlandia #1 for number twos.

974. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, wealthy pranksters dump refuse on unsuspecting citizens from up high.

975. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, lawyers turn down litigation cases and corporate work in order to focus on lucrative public defence work.

976. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions.

977. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Violetist maidens who fall for an outsider must leave their violet light districts in shame.

978. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the state considers itself the 'third parent' of every child in the nation.

5/8/2017:

979. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, beggars on the street are often heard asking for spare votes.

980. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Alex Kocian affectionately nicknames supporters by number.

981. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia is renowned for its lax gun laws.

982. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the morbidly obese often sell stock options on their own corpses.

983. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the police double as repo men.

984. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, voting is voluntary.

14/8/2017:

985. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare.

986 Following new legislation in Wizlandia, condemned prisoners spend hours a day sitting in lotus position looking perplexed.

987. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets.

988. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, pre-schoolers who draw stick figures of their favorite celebrities are sued for infringing image rights.

989. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, interest rates mysteriously drop whenever the CBW Governor goes house hunting.

15/8/2017:

990. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Pre-schoolers who draw stick figures of their favorite celebrities are sued for infringing image rights.

991. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets.

992. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, condemned prisoners spend hours a day sitting in lotus position looking perplexed.

993. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare.

19/5/2018:

994. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fifteen-year-olds cannot walk younger siblings to school without a professional Childcare and Education Certificate.

995. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the leading national news source is 'my cousin Billy-Bob on MyFace'.

996. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life.

997. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sushi just hasn't been the same since salmon went extinct overnight.

998. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Alex Kocian's peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide.

5/6/2018:

999. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crocodile roadkill is smeared across the asphalt of the new Formula One track.

1000. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, drug deals return to the streets as legions of undercover officers stalk the dark web.

1001. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, all government communication requires the imprimatur of the Truth Police.

1002. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hordes of unemployed lumberjacks have resorted to cutting down utility poles to satisfy their cravings.

1003. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, many friends and relatives of Chief Executive Alex Kocian have been given ambassador jobs in tropical island nations.

28/6/2018:

1004. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people who have had childhood imaginary friends are told they can't ever be trusted with guns.

1005. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, giant beards and handlebar moustaches are increasingly popular.

1006. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, money that should have gone to charities is instead spent on monitoring them.

1007 Following new legislation in Wizlandia, debates on whether toilet seats should be left up or down are increasingly commonplace.

1008. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, lending money has become a major liability.

19/1/2019:

1009. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, new government leaflets tell coeliac children to eat more crisps.

1010. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Wizlandia as a reminder of their "special relationship".

1011. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grade school teachers mark homework with red "CITATION NEEDED" stamps.

1012. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point.

1013. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies.

20/1/2019:

1014. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Wizlandia as a reminder of their "special relationship".

1015. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grade school teachers mark homework with red "CITATION NEEDED" stamps.

1016. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point

1017. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies.

Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle Administration
Duration: 10/12/2019 - Present

15/12/2019:

1018. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère.

1019. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, confessions don't count if suffixed with "izzle".

1020. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, you need two tenors and a coloratura contralto to sing the national anthem properly.

1021. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a popular Wizlandian saying is 'wishing upon a fallen jet engine'.

1022. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, major boxing matches are held in government buildings.

1023. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Messiah (formerly known as Brian) is a mayoral candidate.

1024. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government finds the idea of having an army to be rather distasteful.

1025. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums.

16/12/2019:

1026. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, trying to toast marshmallows in an electric fireplace just isn't the same.

1027. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, what citizens give with one hand they take away with the other.

1028. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the entire entry for Wizlandia in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the World reads 'mostly harmless'.

1029. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume.

17/12/2019:

1030. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle.

1031. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, personal injury lawyers are demanding compensation from the government after recent reductions in manufacturer liability.

1032. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, more than one company makes the board game Monopoly.

1033. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, autopsies often involve only cursory examination.

18/12/2019:

1034. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Wizlandian pirates.

1035. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cheap goods stamped "Made In Dàguó" are increasingly rare.

1036. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, open-casket funerals are avoided at all cost.

1037. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a formerly quiet little town is now booming as both a cult centre and a tourist attraction.

19/12/2019:

1038. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's soldiers sleep four to a bed in order to use space economically.

1039. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grocery stores can be audibly identified by the giggling emerging from them.

1040. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, libraries are bulldozed to make way for internet cafés.

1041. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the number of judges has tripled in recent months.

20/12/2019:

1042. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children are disappointed to learn that cavemen never had a yabba-dabba-doo time riding dinosaurs to work.

1043. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams.

1044. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, political speeches that drill deep into bureaucratic fine detail could be said to be a little boring.

21/12/2019:

1045. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, coffee-addicted citizens look forward to baristas getting their name wrong at local coffee shops.

1046. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a policy of plausible deniability helps protect the government from athletic doping scandals.

1047. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, celebrity wrestlers thumb their nose at due process.

1048. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, many are questioning Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle wearing an Eckie-Ecola baseball cap during a keynote speech.

1049. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the question of 'what is Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's favorite color?' has been given a priority rating of burnt-orange.

22/12/2019:

1050. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's generous tax credits have brought all the film studios to the yard.

1051. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandians refer to transgender people with insults instead of pronouns.

1052. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, confused-looking pigeons slide gently off frictionless window ledges.

1053. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, some electoral districts are without a representative as they are stuck with perpetual revotes.

23/12/2019:

1054. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a cat may look at a king and a dude can look at an ass.

1055. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names.

1056. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, ratings for sitcom reruns are often much higher than election debates.

1057. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience.

24/12/2019:

1058. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage.

1059. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, frequent broken zippers have resulted in safety pins making a fashion comeback.

1060. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the carbon tax fund gladly supplies warm blankets when the poor can't pay their heating bills.

1061. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation.

25/12/2019:

1062. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, one of the most popular models in Wizlandia has a scarred face and one working eye.

1063. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, at least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's wardrobe.

1064. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a few immigrants are better than no immigrants according to Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle.

1065. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens are exhausted from weekly general elections.

26/12/2019:

1066. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent.

27/12/2019:

1067. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, pet rocks are sold by the pound.

1068. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security.

1069. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, getting an autograph has become harder than ever.

1070. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens are deployed to barren deserts to protect small territorial claims.

1071. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, dining out often involves Owls on the plate no matter what you order.

28/12/2019:

1072. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, subsidisation of Big Pharma has stopped many corporate executives from having to sell their second homes.

1073. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, party affiliation is just as irrelevant as campaign promises.

1074. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's nothing more gay than bleeding for your nation.

1075. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's recent "I have a dream that we will fight them by raking muck on the beaches" speech seems a little derivative to many.

1076. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, strip mining of rare earth metals is up while back problems are down.

29/12/2019:

1077. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government tells its citizens to 'forgive and forget'.

1078. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Bigtopian interference in domestic elections is always democratically sanctioned.

30/12/2019:

1079. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, everybody's got wood thanks to Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle.

1080. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts.

1081. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, only the fast and the furious are brave enough to drive.

31/12/2019:

1082. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, interest in globalism never flags.

1083. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, agricultural employees work for peanuts.

1084. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Wizlandian football team for the Maxxmas ceasefire consists only of Intelligence Corps personnel.

1085. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hordes of tourists are ruining the environment.

1086. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children usually cry on their first day of school.

1087. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia isn't what it used to be.

1/1/2020:

1088. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Formula One cars in Wizlandia boast 56 miles per gallon.

1089. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance.

1090. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, truck drivers turn their engines off and coast whenever they're going downhill.

2/1/2020:

1091. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government thinks Wizlandians can achieve social cohesion by drinking soda together.

1092. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have.

1093. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them.

1094. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader.

1095. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is customary to begin the summer with a fasting ritual in which people eat nothing but kumquat smoothies.

3/1/2020:

1096. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, group hugs break out during floor votes.

1097. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks".

1098. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new Owl Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls.

1099. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, leading ethologists are being investigated for illegal electoral interference.

4/1/2020:

1100. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary.

1101. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, everyone wants to be on the guest list for diplomatic parties.

1102. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bars are packed at all hours.

5/1/2020:

1103. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, medical experts advise that those claiming to be medical experts are probably fraudsters.

1104. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sometimes a whole prison wing will house a single prisoner.

1105. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is stuck in permanent election mode as politicians demand constant do-overs.

1106. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying.

1107. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, dubiously qualified Skandilundian barristers keep referring to laws as 'government guidelines'.

6/1/2020:

1108. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Humongo-Mart's Beef 'n Owl Lasagne is a hit.

1109. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary.

1110. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crayon squiggles were a late addition to the works of the Renaissance Old Masters.

1111. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, multilingual concierges man empty inner city apartment blocks.

7/1/2020:

1112. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, pirates armed with sonar-guided semi-autonomous torpedos and laser weapons systems are often seen capturing fishing trawlers.

1113. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports.

1114. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list.

1115. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate.

8/1/2020:

1116. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, destitute AIs lurk around online bulletin boards begging for spare Wizcoins.

1117. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, black market eau de toilette is made in bathroom labs across the nation.

1118. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination.

1119. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, multiple births are a cause of celebration for tax collectors.

1120. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the backs of 'No Trespassing' signs were made for you and me.

10/1/2020:

1121. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, no one over the age of 35 has the slightest clue what is going on.

1122. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle has declared a weed sticking through a crack in the sidewalk to be the nation's newest green space.

1123. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, slavery has been abolished.

1124. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's a bright dawn ahead for Wizlandia.

1125. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, former slave-owners hope there are no hard feelings when they apply for jobs from their erstwhile charges.

1126. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration.

11/1/2020:

1127. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming.

1128. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework.

1129. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, engine room hooch is the drink of choice among the nation's navy.

1130. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries.

1131. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Much Ado About Everything.

12/1/2020:

1132. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is more interested in identifying problems than fixing them.

1133. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, scaffolding is built around scaffolding to give safe access.

1134. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the newest shade developed by Wizlandia's dye industry has been dubbed 'Agent Orange'.

1135. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, stolen Reuben sandwiches are met with detailed and thorough police investigations.

13/1/2020:

1136. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, competing private ambulances racing to be the first to traffic accidents are a major cause of road accidents.

1137. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle is famed for giving great back rubs.

1138. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, employees are told they can avoid traffic jams by starting work at 4 AM.

1139. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people who stay late at the office often come home to find their own funeral being planned.

1140. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots.

14/1/2020:

1141. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, supermarket milk is a shear-thickening fluid that can stop small-caliber bullets.

1142. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tradesmen will knock 10% off their fees if customers pay cash.

1143. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bins outnumber trees in city parks.

15/1/2020:

1144. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, advert breaks are played at lower volumes to make them easier to ignore.

16/1/2020:

1145. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the country is littered with broken homes.

1146. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians.

1147. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, evenings at university debating societies often end with everyone acknowledging both sides may well be right.

1148. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, frisbee games on college quadrangles are grounds for expulsion.

17/1/2020:

1149. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, textbooks are exactly twice as heavy as they used to be.

1150. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, for just a few extra Wizcoins Wizlandians can get new driving records with their new cars.

1151. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians always seem to take two steps forward then three steps back.

1152. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, one does not simply walk into the tundra.

1153. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teenagers sit around on their butts all day.

1154. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, billions of Wizcoins are spent to take high-quality photos of the Owl Nebula.

1155. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government decides its policies by observing the flight of birds.

1156. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, immersive video game experiences are interrupted by incessant disclaimer pop-ups.

19/1/2020:

1157. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts.

1158. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the poor are forced into bankruptcy by their energy bills.

1159. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities.

1160. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is hoping that medical aid will speak louder than human rights abuses.

1161. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, incarcerated crime lords manage their empires from massage tables.

1162. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic.

1163. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, claiming to have performed the Heimlich Maneuver is a popular defense for assault charges.

20/1/2020:

1164. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grumpy old house owners demand that pedestrians get off their footpaths.

1165. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians tend to speak more loudly and slowly these days.

1166. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, one can walk from one side of Lorenvia to the other without setting foot on Wizlandian soil.

21/1/2020:

1167. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned.

1168. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people say chess victor Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle can kill you with mind-bullets.

22/1/2020:

1169. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal.

1170. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, most voters only see their chosen representative visit once every election cycle.

1171. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people with political aspirations study how to make balloon animals.

1172. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, kids are told they can be whoever they want to be when they grow up.

23/1/2020:

1173. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the tools of the trade for landmine clearance appear to be copious amounts of gasoline and a box of matches.

1174. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, frat-house partying has become the national pastime.

1175. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, corporate lawyers are switching careers to the more lucrative field of green politics.

1176. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, third world countries are rich in "I Love Lorenvia" t-shirts.

24/1/2020:

1077. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms.

1078. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, economists have been named Invertebrates of the Year.

1079. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present.

1180. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the wealthiest parts of the country receive the most government spending.

25/1/2020:

1181. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the roar of the Niagara 3000 mega-loo can be heard several blocks away.

1182. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting.

1183. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence.

1184. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners.

1185. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, nature magazines featuring stick insects on their covers are sometimes mistaken for fashion magazines.

26/1/2020:

1186. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, big game hunters travel to Wizlandia to try their hand at shark-shooting.

1187. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, dictionary sales have hit an all-time high.

1188. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, customer satisfaction with online delivery services is at an all time high.

1189. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents.

27/1/2020:

1190. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the parliament building has installed a revolving door.

1191. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it.

1192. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue".

1193. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards.

28/1/2020:

1194. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is not politically correct to suspect that a serially convicted burglar might steal again.

29/1/2020:

1195. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, solid-gold toilets are Wizlandian prisons' least expensive furnishings.

1196. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, '.lib' or '.con' domains indicate whether Wizlandian websites are meant for liberals or conservatives.

1197. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia's heavy congestion charges are the bane of motorists' lives.

1198. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian actors literally work from cradle to grave.

1199. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain.

1200. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cosmopolitan citizens ask what their countries can do for them.

1201. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students.

30/1/2020:

1202. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a murderous reputation can revitalise a flagging celebrity career.

1203. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, lines of trenches demarcate the nation's borders.

1204. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park.

1205. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer.

1/2/2020:

1206. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is typical to be greeted by a string of curse words in Wizlandian restaurants.

1207. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government loves seeing the little people fight.

1208. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sales of trenchcoats are on the rise.

1209. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, one of the nation's leading exports is empty platitudes.

1210. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the justice of Wizlandia is considered superior to that of other nations.

2/2/2020:

1211. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children's bedrooms are often decorated with posters of successful accountants.

1212. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, court cases mostly involve lawyers shouting questions at witnesses giving silent shrugs.

1213. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat".

1214. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a shipwreck is everyone's fault but the captain's.

3/2/2020:

1215. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians have been known to swim in pools filled with Wizcoins.

1216. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order.

1217. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, condos feature wall-mounted cages containing endangered animals.

1218. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents.

4/2/2020:

1219. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the weather report is the prisoners' favourite programme.

1220. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop.

1221. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads.

1222. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, concerned environmentalists wipe away their tears with tissues sourced from Tasmanian old-growth redwoods.

5/2/2020:

1223. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, onions have been banned due to their tendency to cause eye irritation.

1224. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, from the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in Wizlandia.

1225. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new "Bloodbath" orange tree autonomously seeks and destroys independent orchards.

1226. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks.

1227. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's a lot of hot air coming from the Capitol Building.

1228. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mall countdown clocks warn that there are only 364 more shopping days until Maxxmas.

1229. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, all the playground's a stage for Wizlandian schoolchildren.

6/2/2020:

1230. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, more citizens have access to Maxtopian Grass than clean drinking water.

1231. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian watches list strained wrists as a common side effect.

1232. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, carefully-staged grief is displayed by Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle after national disasters.

1233. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it turns out that you actually can put a price on intangible cultural heritage.

7/2/2020:

1234. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, journalists often nap through tedious police press briefings.

1235. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government supplies ragtag bands of resistance fighters in exchange for vague promises of future payment.

1236. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, everyone hates people who encourage hate.

1237. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the "temporary replacement bus service" is now a permanent fixture.

1238. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, under love's heavy burden Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle sinks lower in the political right's esteem.

9/2/2020:

1239. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, anyone with a tin cup can stop by the welfare office to have it filled with coins.

1240. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign powers often deal with problems that Wizlandia can't handle.

1241. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a sledgehammer and a spray can are seen as the default tools of political debate.

1242. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, kids are taught in schools to argue with their parents.

1243. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Wizlandian Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas.

1244. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, money always talks but the taboo subject of death just brings silence.

10/2/2020:

1245. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, ghost regiments exist only on paper.

1246. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway.

11/2/2020:

1247. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cane fights are a common sight in nursing homes.

1248. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government response to disaster victims starving for bread is "let them eat stale cake".

1249. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments.

1250. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, passionate nomination battles are often as intense as general elections.

1251. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, helicopter parenting is on the rise.

12/2/2020:

1252. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is said that a Wizlandian woman's work is never done.

1253. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene.

1254. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, government spokespeople are working overtime trying to convince concerned citizens that Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle is not a crook.

1255. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's webseries about the alleged hauntings of Lorenvia generates millions of views.

13/2/2020:

1256. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle claims no responsibility for what Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's government does.

1257. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's no such thing as bad publicity.

1258. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, if foreigners can hit a spittoon from five paces they get a free holiday to Wizlandia.

1259. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's a hole in the heart of every Wizlandian city.

15/2/2020:

1260. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the entirety of Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's administration can be crammed into a phone booth.

1261. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, gossip magazines have pictures of Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle sunbathing on the beach with political rivals.

1262. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sweet-toothed Wizlandians have been left penniless by the VAT on candy.

1263. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, passwords to nuclear codes must now contain upper and lower case characters.

16/2/2020:

1264. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, political cartoons depicting Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's face on an Owl's buttocks are selling like hotcakes.

1265. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's no weight to modern politics.

1266. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, movement-triggered sensors mean that for every door that closes another one opens.

1267. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation.

1268. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's never enough space in space.

1269. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the fattest folk in Wizlandia look to be the happiest ones.

17/2/2020:

1270. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high.

1271. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's no cure or sympathy for the common cold.

18/2/2020:

1272. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive.

1273. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fat-shaming is now public policy.

1274. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sick days are on the rise.

1275. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle to meetings with foreign heads of state.

1276. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle is too busy listening to praise to get any work done.

1277. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, primetime re-runs of The Black and White Minstrel Show are a critical hit.

1278. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the ongoing space elevator construction project has elevated the national debt to all new levels.

19/2/2020:

1279. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the subway is dead quiet in early afternoons.

1280. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers.

1281. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens are less concerned with policy and more concerned with whether politicians "call 'em like they see 'em".

1282. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, immigrants who carry knives on them are presumed to be chefs.

1283. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, motorway service stations often have a higher population than the hinterland villages that the roads lead to.

20/2/2020:

1284. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, drugs containing the compound "oleum de serpens" are being sold to cancer patients.

1285. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's biggest export is stupidity.

1286. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a burger chain recently changed its name to Mack Donaldz for legal reasons.

21/2/2020:

1287. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the number of deaths due to poor fungus identification is mushrooming.

22/2/2020:

1288. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the latest "must-have" uPhone is 1/4 mm thinner than last year's uPhone.

1289. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a new guerrilla marketing campaign for tap water involves government agents spraying random citizens with hose water.

1290. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mystics are claiming that a simultaneous rise in scepticism and education budgets is correlation rather than causation.

1291. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies.

1292. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, "Idol-Worship for the Apathetic" workshops are cancelled when no-one bothers to show up.

23/2/2020:

1293. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, road signs are getting harder to read under layers of knitted woolen cardigans.

1294. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones.

1295. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, pet loving officers arrest citizens who don't give their dogs enough biscuits.

24/2/2020:

1296. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, no one believes anything until it has been strenuously tested and peer-reviewed.

1297. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, every fourth child is born with flippers instead of hands.

1298. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, kindergarten teachers with ankle-bracelets are closely supervised by their parole officers.

1299. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law.

25/2/2020:

1300. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, lonely people are supposed to be cheered up by the many parties that they are never invited to.

1301. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on Wizlandia.

1302. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, video evidence of cruel animal experiments tends to be of poor quality.

1303. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass".

27/2/2020:

1304. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, on graduation day the hats thrown in the air fly high enough to stun passing pigeons.

1305. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, babies are a small but significant export.

1306. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, internet trolls are considered valiant supporters of the right to free speech.

1307. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock".

1308. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it's been a banner year for local vexillology.

28/2/2020:

1309. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property.

1310. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, couples kissing on the street are detained for 'unlawful exchange of genetic material'.

1311. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, comic books avoid plot inconsistencies by removing the plot.

1312.: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, biotech companies are fined if their jumbled genetic sequences look too familiar.

1313. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a life spent suffering in silence is considered noble.

1314. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mandatory state-funded classes teach Libertarianism.

1315. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is in perpetual campaign mode.

1/3/2020:

1316. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, classes at Lorenvia University get canceled on Brancaland's Independence Day.

1317. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, strange men lingering in offices distributing television sets is a basis for a system of government.

1318. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's more vermin than ever on the metro.

1319. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, no one is quite sure what many government officials look like.

1320. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign converts are illuminated by both missionaries and helicopter searchlights.

2/3/2020:

1321. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people in Wizlandia can die peacefully knowing that all their debts are paid.

1322. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay.

1323. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, rumor has it that Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle has won three lotteries in a row.

1324. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mathematicians are gathering an infinite number of Owls and typewriters to see if they can recreate the works of Max Barry.

4/3/2020:

1325. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, corruption is a game of two halves.

1326. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, pharmacists increasingly claim they are morally obligated to take long lunches.

1327. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Little League matches are often attended by riot police with water cannon... just in case.

1328. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed.

1329. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, group photos of the members of parliament are often mistaken for family reunions.

1330. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars.

1331. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, military officers are given medals for disobeying orders.

1332. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tourists call Wizlandian beach towns "the fine coastline".

5/3/2020:

1333. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, chickens roam the streets freely.

1334. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, pet owners make sure their dogs wear diapers.

1335. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, airplanes have giant grilles on their noses to knock drones out of their path.

1336. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, no one knows how to tie a reef knot.

6/3/2020:

1337. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a bill to outlaw math homework has been submitted.

1338. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, being Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs.

1339. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sex changes are routinely performed at Wizlandia's hospitals.

1340. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, most ambassadors from Wizlandia retire only a few years after being appointed.

8/3/2020:

1341. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of.

1342. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.

1343. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, former arsonists can be found on local fire brigades.

1344. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hundreds of thousands of convicts work as slaves in Wizlandia's many privately-owned prisons.

1345. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, future leaders of Wizlandia regularly dismiss pressing political issues when available options don't conform to their worldview.

9/3/2020:

1346. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters.

1347. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a convict's trip to prison can be longer than the sentence.

1348. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, trust-fund babies line up for places in community college.

1349. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, employees who skip lunch to avoid sub-par cafeteria food risk getting fired.

11/3/2020:

1350. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, religious households enthusiastically use whips in private.

1351. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, alcoholism is the newest import from Dàguó.

1352. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the climate agreement has actually increased the volume of hot air in the atmosphere.

1353. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, young girls aren't having a ball but they are enjoying themselves.

12/3/2020:

1354. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, unshaven men are viewed with suspicion in courts of law.

1355. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, rioting and unrest sweep the nation.

1357. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away.

1356. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common.

13/3/2020:

1357. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers'.

1358. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, East Lebatuckese luxury goods are plundered by the working class of Wizlandia.

1359. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has spent days debating the merits of a petition calling for a ban on sporks.

1360. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, factory workers offered 20-hour shifts are expected to thank their bosses for the wonderful opportunity.

1361. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, government officials across Wizlandia are being "encouraged" to adopt Owls to set an example for the populace.

1362. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy.

1363. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, annual government budgets include a sizeable spend on "making things look fabulous".

1364. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens finish cleaning up after the annual National Treasure Hunt just in time for the next one.

14/3/2020:

1365. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the delay between passed legislation and real world implementation is often a decade or longer.

1366. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, you can't put down the nation's attitude to pet health.

1367. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles.

1368. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, heartfelt sentiments are mercilessly marketed by a million-Wizcoin treacle machine.

16/3/2020:

1369. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, behind every great person are three dozen other people passing great memos.

1370. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sofas are perpetually on sales that Must End Soon.

1371. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, vast amounts of energy are expended moving water to hilltop lakes.

1372. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school lockers are filled with fancy underwear.

1373. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tombstones are ten feet high to accommodate the names of inhabitants.

18/3/2020:

1374. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, public enemies often walk home with spotless garments and crime records.

1375. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the statue in the Vangelis Plaza has a solar panel for a hat.

1376. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation.

1377. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches.

1378. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail.

19/3/2020:

1379. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government mails weekly updates on the new anti-junk mail laws to every citizen.

1380. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's a mortuary next to every Wizlandian restaurant.

1381. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, when electric cars arrived nobody heard them coming.

1382. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is technically inaccurate to call the dead 'worm food'.

20/3/2020:

1383. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, owning a tractor is widely regarded as an essential prerequisite to most government positions.

1384. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, celebrity foodies are biting a huge chunk out of the government budget.

1385. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets.

21/3/2020:

1386. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's most "productive" diamond mine hasn't been operational for seven months.

1387. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, saying "don't do anything that Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal.

1388. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new universal healthcare system has been dubbed Lavelle-care by its detractors.

1389. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security.

1390. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hunters have been known to lose limbs while attempting to 'play tag' with their prey.

22/3/2020:

1391. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation faces constant invasions by foreign boy bands.

1392. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, many suspect the government "doth protest too much" with their curiously specific denials of conspiracy theories.

1393. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the poor are often seen pale and dizzy after selling their blood to make ends meet.

23/3/2020:

1394. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, psychiatrists that date patients are congratulated on their romantic conquests.

1395. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, savvy nightclub-goers know that structurally unsound venues sell the cheapest drinks.

1396. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, water fights now end with thousands dead.

1397. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, referenda are held for every conceivable government action.

24/3/2020:

1398. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians spend more time in courtrooms than in Parliament.

1399. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, satellite images show safe electoral constituencies in complete darkness.

1400. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers.

1401. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, prisoners fit in their parole hearings around their spa treatments.

25/3/2020:

1402. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is mandatory to learn evolution in schools.

1403. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the tenet of free speech is held dear.

1404. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, to say that military robots are inclined towards violence is offensive.

1405. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Tesco was recently named as the new national treasurer.

1406. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post.

27/3/2020:

1407. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, new cases of Asbestosis are cropping up as quickly as hospitals can deal with them.

1408. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, several inches are being added to first class seating.

1409. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage.

1410. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens who plan overseas vacations are barred from running for political office.

1411. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, remote-control hang-gliding scarecrows patrol the skies to keep songbirds from leaving the nation's borders.

28/3/2020:

1412. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, obstetricians are not allowed to publish ultrasound pictures of fetuses in medical journals.

1413. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens sport solarium-kissed tans that are perfectly even except for the occasional melanoma.

1414. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, agreeing to appear on TV is often the best way to access social care.

1415. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is illegal for a parent to tell a child to stop eating their boogers.

1416. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, nuclear physics is the most popular course at university.

1417. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves.

29/3/2020:

1418. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon.

1/4/2020:

1419. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews.

1420. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Wizlandian delegation to the World Assembly is having a hard time convincing people that international law will "pay for itself somehow..."

1421. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, where there's smoke there's the Wizlandian Forestry Department.

1422. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians.

1423. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, home renovation shows are increasingly popular.

2/4/2020:

1424. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fifty years of pension funds can disappear in half a second.

1425. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, dentists routinely perform open heart surgery.

1426. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, surrealist houses shaped like mushrooms and volcanoes dominate the wealthiest neighborhoods.

1427. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, roadside walls are being built and mother nature is paying for it.

3/4/2020:

1428. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, just as students finish their homework it's time for school.

1429. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings.

1430. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, private businesses are paving paradises to put up parking lots.

4/4/2020:

1431. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hospitals are amongst the best-funded in the region.

1432. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, refugees from other nations are flocking to Wizlandia's border.

1433. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, 'The Anti-Government Hour' is a popular programme on many of Wizlandia's radio stations.

1434. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sermons are regularly interrupted by businessmen taking phone calls.

1435. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome.

5/4/2020:

1436. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's a lot of smoke from the nation's "green economy".

1437. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, only the rich can afford the latest medical innovations.

1438. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups.

6/4/2020:

1439. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, police struggle to solve crimes due to the lack of fingerprint records.

1440. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars.

1441. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Wizlandian officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them.

1442. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, members of ethnic minorities are more often called "boy" or "girl" than by their actual names.

1443. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison.

7/4/2020:

1444. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government asks not what you can do for your country but what you can do to tidy their country homes.

8/4/2020:

1445. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, travelers often bring empty plastic bottles on Air Wizlandia flights to avoid the pay lavatories.

1446. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, polite commuters on the Lorenvia Metro always let hurried workers off the train first.

1447. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, clandestine emigration to countries with labor laws is all the rage.

1448. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand.

1449. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the well-off can quite literally buy extra votes.

9/4/2020:

1450. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, third party candidates are now gaining some representation in Parliament.

1451. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, all footpaths have tollbooths.

1452. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, high school principals regularly send armed truancy patrols to drag problem students to school.

1453. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, residents of new housing subdivisions complain about the total absence of supermarkets and restaurants.

11/4/2020:

1455. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the contraband cigarette trade is lighting up across Wizlandia.

1456. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets.

1457. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste.

1458. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, government officials frequently cut taxes as a distraction from antics with their secretaries.

1459. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people invite random old men into their homes to play with their kids.

1460. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the sound of office water cooler chatter has been replaced by the whirring of computer cooling fans.

1461. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines.

12/4/2020:

1462. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply.

1463. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside.

1464. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, therapists can always squeeze in another house-call.

14/4/2020:

1465. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, child labor has been outlawed.

1466. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations.

1467. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, meals are now followed by thirty minutes of mandatory exercise.

1468. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, vital intelligence-gathering activities are often put on hold for Call of Honor tournaments.

1469. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, kissing cousins produce the heartiest babies.

16/4/2020:

1470. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, wind farms are erected on shuttered oil platforms.

1471. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's weary schoolchildren excel at sport but must count scores on their fingers.

1472. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb.

1473. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the law says it's okay to sell a bomb to a terrorist so long as they promise not to detonate it.

17/4/2020:

1474. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, eminent domain has been abolished.

1475. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fishermen take out second mortgages to afford the yearly fishing permit.

1476. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, robotic spouses prove to be just as imperfect as flesh and blood ones.

1477. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, armed police units patrol the roads late at night.

18/4/2020:

1478. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, every workday begins with group therapy.

1479. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist.

1480. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world.

1481. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, shopkeepers use microscopes to verify the authenticity of banknotes.

1482. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters.

19/4/2020:

1483. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests.

1484. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, recognizing the Wizlandian flag qualifies you for citizenship.

1485. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper.

1486. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the richest citizens live in sheltered private citadels.

1487. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, many whiskies taste suspiciously like automobile radiators.

1488. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.

21/4/2020:

1489. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds.

1490. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandia is increasingly belligerent on the international stage.

1491. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose.

1492. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, nobody draws smiley faces on receipts anymore.

1493. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the automotive industry soaks up huge government handouts.

1494. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, well-off serial killers write monthly checks to avoid jail time.

1495. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down.

1496. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking.