The Jacuzzi Council,

AIMING to clear up misconceptions, and ambiguities in the rules of the Jacuzzi Council, including but not limited to the passing of resolutions and the delegation of official authorities,
WANTING to establish a concise set of rules easily able to be referred to should a question arise,
ENSURING that abuses of power and disagreements will be avoided when possible,
takes actions with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,

1. Establishes a standard format for resolutions.
i. Resolutions will consist of two main parts, the first clarifying intention and the second outlining action.
ii. The first part shall be called the “statement of intention.” The statement of intention consist of an identification of the problem being solved, a list of various factors that have led to the drafting of the resolution, and the motivations of the author.
iii. The second part shall be called the “declaration of action.” The declaration of action shall be a list of actions the Jacuzzi Council is undertaking in order to remedy the issue identified in the statement of intention, along with a short explanation of the mechanism by which the actions will be undertaken if the author considers it necessary.
iv. The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Act is identified as a model resolution which can be referred to if necessary.
v. Should any of the formatting guidelines interfere with the creative freedom of the author or the effectiveness of the resolution, they may be ignored.

2. Clarifies the roles of the Cardinal, Amalgamation Bishop, and Peacekeeper Bishop.
i. Specific powers, such as the ability to suppress posts and make polls, will be meted out and regulated by the founder and WA Delegate at their discretion.
ii. The Cardinal shall be elected by either a majority or plurality of votes at the end of the prior Cardinal's term.
iii. The Cardinal shall have the authority to appoint any two nations to either bishop position upon his or her election, as long as the nations are members of Calefacta Aquas Piscinae and are not puppet nations. The Cardinal shall also have the authority to dismiss his or her bishops at will, but should not do so often.
iv. The founder and WA delegate shall determine term lengths at their discretion.
v. Primary authority in matters of the Jacuzzi Council shall be vested in the Cardinal. The bishops will defer to the Cardinal's judgment if necessary, and if this is insufficient to solve a dispute, will defer to the founder and WA delegate.
vi. The Cardinal will be the primary author of resolutions, though the bishops should write resolutions as well. Authority to manage daily operations of the region, when not used by the founder or WA delegate, will be concentrated in the Cardinal, who will participate in affairs of policy and military.
vii. The Amalgamation Bishop will assist in the daily affairs of the region with a focus on policy.
viii. The Peacekeeper Bishop will assist in the daily affairs of the region with a focus on military.
ix. The Cardinal or either bishop may be impeached if they are not fulfilling their duties. Impeachment proceedings are to be determined by the founder and WA delegate.

3. Clarifies procedure for the ratification of resolutions.
i. Resolutions should be written by the Cardinal, Amalgamation Bishop, and Peacekeeper Bishop. Resolutions should reflect the desires of the Jacuzzi Council's constituents and may be inspired by recommendations from the constituents.
ii. The Cardinal has the authority to invite another nation to write a resolution as a guest author, but this must not supplant the Cardinal's responsibilities in resolution writing.
iii. No resolution requires the prior consent of the other officers of the Jacuzzi Council to be posted, debated on, or voted on.
iv. A resolution written by one officer may be vetoed by both other officers. The other officers cannot veto on their own; they must both be in agreement and must both desire to veto.
v. All resolutions may be vetoed by the WA delegate and founder if they deem it necessary, but they should not use this power except in extreme cases.
vi. When being voted on, resolutions must have both a “yea” and “nay” choice. The poster of the poll may include other choices, but they will not affect the passage of the resolution.
vii. Resolutions are passed when there are more “yea” votes than “nays,” and struck down when there are more “nay” votes than “yeas” or an equal number of “nays” and “yeas.”
viii. In cases in which it would be appropriate for more than two real choices (ex., a nation could vote yea, nay, or nay in order on on the Jacuzzi Council members, founder, or WA delegate voting on resolutions.that a new revision can be made), then the course of action will be decided by a choice receiving either a majority of votes or a plurality of votes.
ix. A passed resolution may be edited to fix minor errors in spelling, grammar, and formatting, as long as the main ideas of the resolution are not abridged in any way, shape, or form.
x. There is no restriction on the Jacuzzi Council members, founder, or WA delegate voting on resolutions.
xi. There is a precedent for the founder and WA delegate having the authority to pass resolutions by executive authority, and this will not be changed.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

ACKNOWLEDGING that the current region member count is steadily dropping, due to inactive nations ceasing to exist,

REMEMBERING the recently held poll entitled "How much do we want our nation to grow?", which resulted in 64% of the region voting to raise the approximate member count to "maybe 100 or 120",

NOTING that these numbers have not been reached,

FURTHER CALLING TO ATTENTION that out of the approximately 70-80 nations in the region, only 20-25 actually participate in regional activities,

WISHING to boost the number of active nations in the region by boosting the overall amount of members,

FEARING that if the region fails to recruit more nations soon, activity will begin to stagnate,

hereby takes action on the aforementioned problems in the following ways:

1. Through the use of mass telegram recruitment,

2. By encouraging all member nations to invite any and all acquaintances, friends and family to join the region,

3. By improving regional infrastructure, preparing more regional activities, and overall making the region more active in order to make our region more attractive to possible members.

Signed,
-Ivalicia
-Frootsaladd
-Wolfgramnation

Regarding the possibility of JC resolution violations among Calefacta Aquas Piscinae;

Acknowledging the rebelliousness of nations;

Knowing that the JC is not, and will never be, considered a monolithic international assembly whose actions are to be ignored and disregarded;

Informing other nations that if a JC resolution slows regional progress, is harmful, or is plainly unneeded, an annulment can be voted and the aforementioned JC resolution would be repealed, rather than be violated without suggesting a nullification process for that resolution;

Encouraging other nations to follow JC resolutions at all costs;

Urging the JC to enforce penalties on violators of JC resolutions, including:
------1. Financial fines
------2. Temporary banning the voting of resolutions for violators
------3. Compulsory Peacekeeper Bishop military occupation

Noting that this resolution will expire when the next regional election begins;

Concluding this resolution and

Reminding that actions have consequences.

Signed-
Ivalicia
Frootsaladd
Wolfgramnation

The Jacuzzi Council,

DEFINING the terms, “God modding,” “Mary Sueing,” and, “Gary Stuing,” as, “The act of roleplaying one's nation as unreasonably powerful, influential, and/or perfect in any way, shape, or form,”

RECOGNIZING that these actions do sometimes take place in the regional message board,

SEEING the hindrances this causes to roleplay,

CRYING because we sometimes log on to see fifty posts one after the other untruthfully boasting about how powerful a nation's military is,

HEREBY imposes the following penalties on God Modders, Mary Sues, and Gray Stus:

1. Any perpetrators will have their nation N00K3D by our orbital ultra-cannon that can instantaneously destroy any body of land.
2. The smoldering wreckage will be invaded by the Peacekeeper Bishop and his/her incredibly perfect, massive, and awesome military.
3. If that still isn't enough 0WN4G3, the heads of state of the Jacuzzi Council nations will personally come to your house and whoop your derriere with their god-like superpowers and heart-stopping good looks.

Signed,
Ivalicia
Frootsaladd
Wolfgramnation

Being a nation that is active on NationStates

Wanting to be recognized that you have time to kill

Needing to be put in a hall of fame for actually being active

Recognizing the nations that are active on Calefacta Aquas Piscinae

Elevating those active nations to that status, going by three criterion:
1. Has a claim of territory on the map
2. Actually posts on the RMB at least sometimes
3. Answers the new issues that come to them

Signed,
Ivalicia
Suburbistanistan
Contrai

Observing that inactive nations die out

Looking back at when everyone carved up dead nations (which was pretty fun, btw)

Recognizing that dead nations can sometimes be refounded

Compensating for the refounded nations with former territory occupied

Giving back the rightful territory to those nations that come back to us
1. Allow citizens in the occupied territory to join the refounded nation or move to the nation that owned the colony
2. Give the land to said refounded nation
3. Give the refounded nation some free Boku No Pico ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (optional)

Signed,
Suburbistanistan, who actually does all the resolutions
Ivalicia
Contrai

The Jacuzzi Council,

RECOGNIZING the increasing effort among the nations of Calefacta Aquas Piscinae to maintain records of their history,
DESIRING to create a system with which nations can appreciate the collected information on other nations,
ACKNOWLEDGING that succession, war, colonization, and other major national events ought to be accurately recorded,
and SEEKING to respect the rights of each nation to their own units of measurement,
takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council provides for an international standard of time-keeping in the denomination of years based on the discovery of the Holy Hot Tub.
1. The calendar shall be named “Jacuzzian Calendar” in honor of the Jacuzzi Council who masterminded its implementation.
2. Years are to be measured backward and forward from the discovery date of the Holy Hot Tub, which coincides with the founding date of Calefacta Aquas Piscinae, dated January 3rd, 2015 CE.
3. Time before the aforementioned date shall be labeled BH, Before Hot Tub.
4. Time after the aforementioned date shall be labeled AH, After Hot Tub.
5. One day in the Gregorian Calendar shall be equivalent to one year in the Jacuzzian Calendar. For example, October 16th 2015 will be given the designation “286 AH” because the discovery of the Holy Hot Tub was 286 days prior. Furthermore, April 1st 2012 will be given the designation “1007 BH” because the discovery of the Holy Hot Tub occurred 1007 days after.
6. The length of a Jacuzzian year will purposefully be kept ambiguous for roleplaying purposes.
7. The right of any country to use any other national measurements will not be infringed so as not to stifle their culture. We aren't jerks like the guys who came up with the metric system.

Notes
We would like to reiterate that no nation should feel obligated to display their dates only in this system or in this system at all. The primary purpose is so that regional record-keepers can have a good idea of when events happened relative to each other. We do not request you alter the number of your dates, the length of your year, or anything like that. Record-keepers (primarily on the Wiki) will merely use this number in conjunction with your national dates to avoid confusion.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Suburbistanistan
Nazguland

The Jacuzzi Council,
RECOGNIZING the need for a sizable regional budget for projects and infrastructure,

NOTING the large amount of money that many member nations of Calefacta Aquas Piscinae collect through income tax every year,

FURTHER REAFFIRMING that in order to advance as a region, contributions must be made by region members,

TAKING INTO ACCOUNT that while some member nations have more than enough to contribute, others are strapped for cash,

hereby enforces the following laws:

1. Every member of Calefacta Aquas Piscinae must donate a large percentage of collected income tax every month.
2. The percentage of tax the region will receive per nation will be determined by the nation's average income:
>0 - 19999: 6% of income tax
>20000 - 39999: 10%
>40000 - 69999: 25%
>70000 - 99999: 40%
>100000 - 149999: 60%
>150000 and up: 80%
3. Failure to pay taxes may result in sanctions such as trade bans, more monetary penalties or, if need be, military occupation.
4. As administrative members of the region, the Founder, Delegate, and Jacuzzi Council members are given a share of the collected taxes. They are also exempt from paying these taxes.

SIGNED AND APPROVED:
Ivalicia, Cardinal
Suburbistanistan, Amalgamation Bishop
Contrai, Peacekeeper Bishop

NOTING revisionist history is a gateway drug, and a form of Mary Sue.
DEFINING revisionism as ignoring the outcomes of the issues you face.
RECOGNIZING that nations be primarily technologically influenced by the issues they face every day.
EXEMPTING propaganda from the Act, as that is what propaganda does
PRIORITIZING the outcomes of issues as what define technological level, with factbook entries providing secondary information
IMPOSING the swift punishment by the absolutely-perfect-in-every-way military of the peacekeeper bishop onto those who violate the Act:

1. Violaters of the Act will by N00K3D by international coalition
2. The remains will be SPACELAZ0RED by Suburbistanistan
3. The All-Perfect, All-Powerful Military of the peacekeeper bishop will finish you off m8

Signed,
Ivalicia
Suburbistanistan
Contrai

The Jacuzzi Council,

RECOGNIZING the fact that it is not possible to use ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) as a national currency, animal, capital, leader, or religion,

KNOWING that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is probably the greatest face of all time,

NOTING that the fact that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is not useable is due to a purposeful developer oversight,

ACKNOWLEDGING Max Barry as the chief developer of the game

SEEING that Max Barry has purposefully banned ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°),

REVULSED by Max Barry's bald and shiny head,

CONCLUDING that Max Barry must be eliminated at all costs,

takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,
1. Condemns Max Barry's heinous actions and ugly bald head.
2. Encourages nations to adopt policies that restrict Max Barry's influence.
3. Recommends that Max Barry be banned from Calefacta Aquas Piscinae.
4. Implores nearby nations to adopt a kill-on-sight policy if Max Barry appears.
5. Officially declares war on Max Barry.

Signed,
Ivalicia
Frootsaladd
Wolfgramnation

The Jacuzzi Council,
DEFINING horse heads as rubber heads shaped to appear like a horse which a human being would normally wear over their own head in order to look like a strange horse,
LAUGHING because horse heads are absolutely horse-larious,
RECOGNIZING the incredible traditions of horses as being horse-larious, even going back to Caligula attempting to appoint his horse Incitatus as consul of the Roman Empire,
LAUGHING AGAIN because I just remembered the time I saw a guy wearing a horse mask.
LAUGHING FOR A THIRD TIME because I just remembered yet another instance of horse head-wearing horse-larity,
LAUGHING SPECIFICALLY AT PEULLATON because he left his horse head in my truck and now its mine,
DYING OF LAUGHTER because I named the horse head “Incitatus,”
DESIRING that all people of all nations be entitled to their basic human right to enjoy horse head-related horse-larity and spread said horse head-related horse-larity to others,
takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,
1. Encourages the nations of Calefacta Aquas Piscinae to lower tariffs on the importing and exporting of horse heads in order to facilitate their spread.
2. Requests that nations which engage in business subsidization apportion some of their budget to subsidizing horse head making companies.
3. Asserts that every human, even if they do not have any other rights, has a right to a horse head.
4. Establishes the Annual Horse-Head Appreciation Convention of Horse-Larity to be held yearly in Peullaton.
5. Authorizes Peacekeeper Bishop occupation of the designated host of the Annual Horse-Head Appreciation Convention of Horse-Larity in the event that he refuses to hold the convention.
6. Neigh, whinny!
7. Officially designates “horse-larity” as being a new and 100% real word.
8. Laughs heartily at its own horse-larity in creating a resolution that will truly be revered for all eternity as the epitome of resolutions, probably never to be surpassed by the creation of any new bill ever.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Suburbistanistan
Nazguland

Observing The greater taionochontasiaphia's attacks on many nations in Calefacta Aquas Piscanae across all political fronts.
Noting these attacks do not seem to have any purpose
Also Noting the roleplay is okay, and may be good for the region.
Wanting a lil' bit of motivation at least. Not just to cause havoc.

The Jazzuci Council:
Condemns The greater taionochontasiaphia
Prevents trade to or from The greater taionochontasiaphia

Signed ,
High Cardinal:Draiochtia
Almagation Bishop:Contrai
Peacekeeper Bishop:Wolfgramnation

Noticing that the we do not have enough animated culture in our airwaves

Wanting to add to our Show Hall of Fame, in order to boost said TV culture

Findingthat Boku no Pico is a paragon of modern art and culture

Recognizing that Boku no Pico's quality is on par, maybe even better than Seinfeld, Cory in the House, Bee Movie, Shrek, and airplane instruction videos from the 80s.

Compelling Calefacta Aquas Piscinae to add such an esteemed work of art

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ing we must all accept and place Boku no Pico in high regard:
1. Snort it up
2. Inject it into our veins
3. Study every last bit of it to analyze its being
4. Smoke it
5. Worship it
6. ???
7.Profit

Signed,
Ivalicia
Suburbistanistan
Contrai

Recognizing all the hard work Peullaton does for our hot tub.

Reflecting back at what he has done.

Recognizing that without him, the Holy Hot Tub, would not be the same.

Ignoring the fact that this may be an effort to make Peullaton shut up and not kick me off the council for inactivity.

Recognizing that I am in the middle of school assessment and can't think up a better resolution.

CelebratingPeullaton's work by:
1. Praying to him, after our 5pm prayers to his bubbliness.
2. Force our nations to hand over all their beer stockpiles to him, for his personal enjoyment.
3. Drown him in the Hot Tub.(optional)

Signed,
Suburbistanistan, who actually does all the resolutions
Ivalicia, who is annoying and needs to actually do something.
Contrai, who is way too busy atm.

The Jacuzzi Council,
RECOGNIZING the importance of Peullaton in our region,
KNOWING that without his work, Calefacta Aquas Piscinae would most likely not exist,
ASSERTING that any figure of significance ought to be readily able to be referred to.
GETTING REALLY FREAKING ANGRY because I have heard “Peullaton" pronounced “Pee-yoo-luh-tun,” “Pooh-well-uh-tun,” “Pooh-whale-uh-tun,” “Pell-way-tun,” and several other ways as well,
WANTING to know the correct pronunciation,
takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,
1. Creates an international, unbiased, expert body composed of various nations, and terms this body, “The Peullaton Pronunciation Investigative Bureau.”
2. Provides itself the authority to appoint members of its choice to the Bureau
3. Authorizes the Bureau to conduct a thorough investigation into the matter of the correct pronunciation.
4. Places a gag order on Peullaton, removing his ability to provide any statement on the matter because he's biased and also because this will be hilarious.
5. Provides that violation of the gag order will be grounds for international disciplinary action in the form of Peacekeeper Bishop occupation.
6. Strikes down all stipulations of this Act once the Peullaton Pronunciation Investigative Bureau has determined the correct way to pronounce “Peullaton.”

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Suburbistanistan
Nazguland

The Jacuzzi Council,
RECOGNIZING the fact that important holidays such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, and others are quickly approaching,
ACKNOWLEDGING that it is a common courtesy to send themed holiday cards to family, friends, and others,
AWARE of the fact that retailers like to carry cards that, when opened, play a musical number, song, theme, or other audible noise,
REMEMBERING that the last time I got a card like this, I opened it at 3:00 AM unaware that it would make noise, thereby scaring the hell out of me and waking up my roommate,
DESIRING that no person have the hell scared out of them by these clearly evil artifices that can only be the work of the Devil,
NOTING that dropping the last singing card I got into a hot tub was not sufficient to halt its noise-making,
WANTING to avoid situations like this in the future,
takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,
1. Encourages the nations of Calefacta Aquas Piscinae to avoid sending these terrible machinations.
2. Asserts that the money we save by buying normal holiday cards instead of noise-making ones should be spent on improving the health and welfare of our citizens (or our mansions).
3. Commends all nations who send cards filled with glitter and other little things like that, because holy crap those things are awesome.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Suburbistanistan
Nazguland

Acknowledging the existence of The Resolution
Establishing that acknowledging the existence of The Resolution should be forbidden,
Realizing that I just acknowledged it's existence,
Amending that all JC members are excluded from this resolution,
Condemns all the nations that acknowledged The Resolution, and will continue to do so for Draiochtia's term of Office.

Signed:
High Cardinal Draiochtia,
Peacekeeper Bishop Wolfgramnation,
Amalgamation Bishop Contrai[/quote]

The Jacuzzi Council,

BELIEVING that ice cream is one of the greatest delicacies ever seen on the face of the earth,
CONVINCED that the hard working leaders of our region ought to be entitled to however much ice cream they so desire,
UNDERSTANDING the importance of ice cream in national and international politics,
APPRECIATIVE of the morale and determination provided to us by ice cream breaks,
takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,
1. Provides free ice cream to national leaders and their immediate family for life.
2. Establishes an ice cream fund administered by Wolfgramnation, who will pay for all the ice cream.
3. Establishes an international ice cream eating contest, to be held annually in a new nation every year, and featuring an ice cream flavor identified with the host's country.
4. Commends the individuals who make ice cream possible for all of us.
5. Legislates the following rules and regulations in order to assure smooth implementation of this bill: https://goo.gl/UAtcQ9

Signed,
Draiochtia
Contrai
Wolfgramnation

The Jacuzzi Council,
DEFINING a “waifu” as a character, fictional or otherwise, with which a person shares an emotional connection that involves some form of attachment, possibly romantic,
ACKNOWLEDGING the important roles our waifus play in our everyday life,
FAWINING OVER how kawaii and sugoi our waifus are,
ENGAGING in loving acts with our waifus, including but not limited to: having dinner with her, praying to her, buying merchandise featuring her, meditating on her aspects, eating pocky in devotional imitation of her, etc.,
WANTING to ensure the responsible appreciation of waifus across the region, b-but don't get the wrong idea, it's not like I'm writing this resolution for you, baka!
REMEMBERING that you must never have more than one waifu, because having more than one waifu will ruin your laifu,
takes action with the following methods desu.

The Jacuzzi Council,

1. Commends all the waifus.
2. Encourages the scholarly discussion of our waifus in the RMB.
3. Implores nations to pass waifu rights laws #WaifuLivesMatter.
4. Mandates that Peullaton-senpai buy all of us merchandise featuring our number one waifu.
5. Requests that every Valentine's Day and Christmas Eve, we post pictures of our romantic dinner with our waifu,
6. States that all stipulations of this resolution also apply to husbandos.
7. Desu desu desu desu desu.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

Looking around our glorious region's copious array of cultures.
Analyzing that we have the loads and loads of culture ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
Actualizing that it is hard to keep track of our massive ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) culture.
Deciding we need a hall of fame for our thick, meaty culture.
Petitioning our fabulous region to add a factbook entry that regards works of entertainment deemed dank enough as paragons of high culture and society.

1. All works and workers of entertainment are allowed to be nominated.
2. The worthy nominees are elected to the hall by us dank memers.
3. Polls conducted to nominate and elect said works.
4. All proceeds go to funding more money for the Illuminati's Shrek Ketchup Museum and Boku No Pico Shopping Mall, now with more baby products and a marketing deal with Nicolas Cage and the Westboro Baptist Church.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Suburbistanistan
Nazguland

The Jacuzzi Council,

Because Deathclaws are getting killed at a rate far worse than any other time in a decade due to causes such as,
- They are hunted for their valuable eggs and hands.
- They are poisoned by nations such as Contrai, to prevent their enemies from using deathclaws to their advantage.
- They are trapped from the wild, and used in warfare, notable Djibouti Jeans, for it's powerful attacks.
Noting the Deathclaw is a beautiful species.
Worried that they may be close to extinction.
takes actions with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,
- Prohibits the poisoning of Deathclaws under any circumstances.
- Encourages nations to put more restrictions on Deathclaw Hunting.
- Encourages Nations from which the Deathclaw is native to, to begin breeding programs, such as Djibouti Jeans).
- Prevents the use of Deathclaws in warfare until their numbers have reached their former levels.
- Pans the creation of agents (biological, chemical), to cull their numbers.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

The Jacuzzi Council,

KNOWING very good, honest people from both sides of the political spectrum,
GETTING ALONG REALLY WELL with said people,
BEING CALLED UP by said people just last night, who said, “Mr. Trump, you've done us an enormous favor,”
BEING really rich, and I mean really rich,
FEELING my hair, look, it's real, it's not a wig,
GOLFING on my incredible golf courses I built in Scotland, and by the way, I get along very well with the Scots,
DESPISING our weak leaders, who are all a bunch of lightweights,
LOSING to our enemies, we lose to China, we lose to Mexico,
NEEDING to come up with a temporary solution, just temporary until we can figure out what's going on,
BEING huge,
takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,

1. Builds a wall.
2. Mexico is going to pay for it.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

Because Contrai likes his tuna & salad sandwiches on school breaks,
Noting flying radioactive glowing with cherenkov-radiation tuna sandwiches are cool.
Realising the Industrial Ocean and Nuclear Ocean, probably don't have much fish at all due to pollution.

The Jacuzzi Council,

1. Forbids nuclear weapons testing in major Tuna fisheries. Unless, it can be guaranteed through weather prediction software, that the fallout cloud will land over local schools and residential areas.
2. Encourages nations to change their designated weapons testing zones to these tuna fisheries with residential fallout zones.
3. Funnels Jacuzzi Council Donation Money into the international tuna industry.
4. Experiments with glow in the dark tuna.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

The Jacuzzi Council,

NOTING the incredible patriotism inspired by national and regional anthems,
AWARE that these feelings will aid us in kicking other regions' brasses if those sons of pitches try to cause treble, pardon my French (horn),
DESIRING to evoke these natural feelings of regional pride on a scale never seen before,
TRUMPETING the fact that a regional band would make us euphoniunstoppable,
RECOGNIZING that Calefacta Aquas Piscinae is a region full of many nations who happen to have excellent taste in humor,
CONFIDENT that the pun is the highest form of humor, contra(bass trombone)ry to others' claims, which consistently fall flat,
BANDING together with the common goal to create a regional band,
CONCLUDING that any regional band must incorporate a clef-er pun of some sort,
takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,

1. Provides sax and sax of dollar bills to pay for the recruitment of a staff of brass players from throughout Calefacta Aquas Piscinae.
2. Forms them into a regional band called, “The Hot Tuba-ers.”
3. Mandates that any song played by the Hot Tuba-ers must have a punny title,
4. Assigns the Hot Tuba-ers the lofty responsibility of playing the regional anthem at any official events in a fashion that could be described as, “Totally tuba-ular.”
5. Congratulates itself for being so hilarious.

Signed,

Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

The Jacuzzi Council,

ASKING what the Holy Hot Tub did you just tubbing say about my resolution writing skills, you little Mary Sue,
HAVING YOU KNOW that I placed top of my region in the Cardinal elections, and that I’ve been involved in numerous nepotistic activities with Peullaton and Torocabob, and that I have written over 12 passed resolutions,
BEING trained in RP warfare and being the top poster in the entire Calefacta Aquas Piscinae RMB,
KNOWING that you are nothing to me but just another Max Barry,
COMNDEMNING you the tub out with resolutions the likes of which have never been read before in this region, mark my tubbing words,
QUESTIONING if you think you can get away with telegramming that drivel to me over the Internet,
COMMANDING you to think again, troll,
CURRENTLY contacting my secret network of regional admins and bishops across NationStates,
SUPPRESSING your RP is right now so you better prepare for the ejection, maggot,
WIPING out the pathetic little thing you call your post,
STATING that you’re tubbing banned, kid,

takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,

1. Calls polls anywhere, anytime, and can condemn you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with executive action.
2. Not only is extensively trained in resolution writing, but also has access to the entirety of the regional Mountain Dew supply, and will use it to its full extent to write your miserable nation off the face of the RMB, you little inactive pleb.
3. Postulates what would have happened if only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you. Maybe you would have kept your hands off your keyboard. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you Tub-damn idiot.
4. Will dump holy chlorinated water all over you and you will drown in it. You’re tubbing banned, kiddo.
Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

The Jacuzzi Council,
HAVING had a bad case of updog the other day,
ASKING whether or not you have received your updog in the mail yet,
SNIFFING, and believing that it smells like updog in here,
WELCOMING you to Updog Club. The first rule of Updog Club is that we do not talk about Updog Club,
FIRST, do no updog,
THROWING a beagle into the air,
DECLARING that you should contact me on Updog if you didn't get the last joke,
ASKING not what your updog can do for you,
ASKING what you can do for your updog,
BELIEVING in the me that believes in the updog,
takes action with the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,
1. Asks, “What's updog?”
2. Replies, “NOT MUCH, HOW ABOUT YOU?”

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

Senatvs Iacvzzi,

VIDENS mvltas patrias nvnc de novis ceterisqve lingvis loqvi,
FELIX propter hanc rem,
NON FELIX propter factvm Latinae dicentis mei malvm est,
DESIDERANS hanc rem remanere,

seqvente omnibvs agit.

Senatvs Iacvzzi,
1. Hortatvr hanc rem manere.
2. Omnes patrias discere novam lingvam hortatvr.
3. Illa non parens hvic edictvm necat.
4. Tres ridicvlvm est.

S·P·Q·C·A·P
id est,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

The Jacuzzi Council,

RECOGNIZING that some nations don't seem to appreciate art,

APPRECIATING the fact that art is beautiful,

UNDERSTANDING that art is very important in many cultures,

AIMING to make art appreciated in all nations,

will take the following actions to make sure art will survive.

The Jacuzzi Council,

1. Prohibit nations from destroying art.
2. Will provide some money to artist that have over 1,000,000 views on art.com.wr.
3. Make it compulsory to have at least one art museum in every nation.
4. Recognize art doesn't only take form in a painting, but also music.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Contrai
Ethriea

The Jacuzzi Council,

RECOGNIZING the enormity and diversity of Calefacta Aquas Piscinae’s environment,

UNDERSTANDING that lumber, oil, and other resources are important to the industries of many nations,

KNOWING that nature can present many weather-related dangers, including but not limited to:
1. Tornados
2. Hurricanes
3. Twisters
4. Snow-storms
5. Blizzards
6. Hail
7. Rain of frogs
8. Flooding
9. Dust storms

FEARING the various species of scary animals present in nature, including but not limited to:
1. Centipedes
2. Millipedes
3. Decapedes
4. Millionpedes
5. Gigapedes
6. Megapedes
7. Picopedes
8. Kilopedes
9. Nanopedes
10. Micropedes
11. Elephants

ZZHBSDKHZBEGAD ufhshf shfbsjs fbewohvbeo sorry about that, I was just struck by lightning,

HAVING REWATCHED the classic movie Twister again last night,

SEEING the danger of killer whales, that’s right, I watched Blackfish too,

REACTING to this multitude of dangers, all of which can claim life and limb,

ZDYTFYTSFSKGDVY sejfblshfbslhbf sorry, that time I was struck by an elephant.

AIMING to protect the good nations of Calefacta Aquas Piscinae from the environment,

takes action by the following methods.

The Jacuzzi Council,
1. Protects itself from the environment via the use of land-mines.
2. Condemns any animal with “pede” in its name, including the elephant.
3. OH MY GOD HOLY CRAP a huge millipede just ran across my desk, this is what I’m talking about, guys.
4. Encourages nations to teach self-defense techniques to their citizens, so as to prevent the inevitable onslaught of pedes and tornados.
5. Provides a bounty of $2.50 for every dead wombat brought to the Jacuzzi Council Headquarters. This doesn’t have anything to do with the environment, but I’m working on my dead wombat collection.
6. Remembers that if elephants bury their dead, then they’re perfectly capable of burying you too.

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Suburbistanistan
Contrai

Looking Back At: A while back I ran out of pepperoni for my sandwiches, and had to use salami instead.
Recognizing: That pepperoni is better than Salami.
Instating: That salami should only be used alongside pepperoni, and not by itself.
Measuring: That salami slices are giant, massive things, even compared to sandwich-sized pepperoni slices.
Tasting: That I currently have pepperoni for my sandwiches, and thus don't need salami (but give me pepperoni anyway).

In being, the Jacuzzi Council must do the following:

1. Use pepperoni as the primary meat, as it is superior to salami.
2. Taste the delicious pepperoni on pizza, sandwiches, pizza sandwiches, and other pepperonis.
3. Grind up cooked pepperoni and snort up that meaty, spicy smell (and eat it too).

Signed,
Wolfgramnation
Suburbistanistan
Contrai

The Jacuzzi Council,

ABSOLUTELY recognises this change in leadership and departure of [redacted], which never happened.
MOURNS the 23rd of July, 2020 as a day where [redacted - absolutely nothing happened].
PRAISING the actions of our illustrious leadership during this time when [redacted - absolutely nothing happened].
CELEBRATING the stability and continuity of our leadership.

Signed,
Cardinal: Suburbistanistan
Amalgamation: Ethriea
Peacekeeper Bishop: Eredinia