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We need to get an army in order

Dagoth Uur and Aroltia

OFFICIAL DIKTAT OF THE VISSEGARDIAN GENERAL COUNCIL
English Translation

N: I

June 4

FROM THE INDUSTRIALISTS
With collapse of the Voivodeship of Vissegard, high ranking industrialists have overthrown the local government in Mariagrad and have locked down the city. The leader of this coalition, Giuseppe Kovačević, has released a statement:

With the Voivodeship in peril, it is necessary that the most powerful among us protect the righteous citizens of Mariagrad until order is restored and the canneries can function without error. Until this time, my colleagues and I have assumed control over Mariagrad and the vast stretches of farmland around it. I promise that peace will be restored throughout Vissegard, and that the canneries will run on time once again!

REFORMATION AND ORDER COMMITTEE
Under the leadership of the General Council, a committee dealing with the reformation of Vissegard and the structure of Mariagrad has been founded.

The Vissegardian departments of Agriculture, Commerce, Communications, Human Resources, and Transportation have been refounded in the image of the General Council effective June 2, 2023.
The departments of Public Affairs, Workers Safety, and International Affairs have been abolished effective June 2, 2023.
The departments of Agricultural Shipping, Canning, Machinery, and Manufacturing have been founded effective June 2, 2023.

IMPORTANT NOTICES
Act 3 by the Department of Canning has been passed by the General Council on June 4, 2023. This act abolishes any government employee benefits, declares all employees of Vissegard Canning Co government employees, and forbids the resigning of government employees until allowed so by 3/4 of the General Council.

Act 1220 by the Department of Agriculture has been passed by the General Council on June 4, 2023. This act outlaws agricultural exports from the province of Vissegard until further notice.

Order 7742 has been approved by 3/4 of the General Council. This order legalizes the death penalty in the city of Mariagrad for the crimes of: Larceny, Grand Theft Auto, Treason, Bribery, Forgery, Embezzlement, Vandalism, Arson of Government Property,….
(The list continues for several pages)

Decree 22 has been announced by Head Chair Giuseppe Kovačević and plans to be signed on June 5, 2023. Decree 22 allows for the formation of government militias with the power to imprison any person suspected of treason or conspiracy.

Under Department of Canning Act 7, further reading is not recommended for government employees, please return to your work.

Trigori, Seattleninja008, and Dagoth Uur

As per the councils request, the Ministry of Caning has released the following list containing caneable offenses:

Caneable offenses as outlined by the Montealban Ministry of Caning
    I. Anti-Constitutional behavior

      1. Publicly rejecting the Montealban constitution
      2. Rebellion
      3. Promoting separatism and/or ethnic conflicts
      4. Questioning/Doubting the sovereignty of the Second Montealban State
      5. Anti-Corporative behavior
      6. Hindering any form of progress with an exceptionally short attention span (“Zoomer brain”)

    II. Endangering the local peace (“Hooliganism”)

      1. Anti-social behavior
      2. Using the Teutonic or Tartaroslavic language(s)
      3. Posting ones medical history/personal life story in excruciating detail
      4. Aggressively promoting the US-American rock band “Bon Jovi”
      5. Nizhkian presence on Montealban soil
      6. Tweenism
      7. Prussophilia

Attempts to circumvent the punishment by trying to get by on technicalities will be considered a direct threat to the local peace and punished with a harsh and severe caning. Those who - either purposefully or accidentally - annoy state officials by asking about the reason behind or usefulness of these bans will also be punished with a harsh and severe caning

The Second Montealban State, including the Ministry of Caning, reserves the right to arbitrarily decide whether or not a caning will be executed.

Read factbook

It should be noted that the list is not completed and that the Ministry of Caning (and by extension the government of the Second Montealban State) reserves the right to arbitrarily and spontaneously detain and/or punish hooligans.

Trigori, Dagoth Uur, Meyle, and Aroltia

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE MINISTRY OF CANING

Due to the numerous complaints from civilians, countless violations of the law and repeated attacks on the social order of the Second Montealban State, the Ministry of Caning has decided to temporarily suspend the autonomous, self-governing status of the Province of Spezia and seize local power in a firm attempt to restore the peace.

For centuries the province of Spezia has been a hotbed of ethnic conflict, violent separatist rebellions and widespread hooliganism, but only now have recent transgressions forced the Ministry of Caning to intervene.

Measures
-The K'van of Spezia has agreed to dissolve the Autonomous Administration of Spezia and transfer his mandate onto the Ministry of Caning, and by extension onto the Second Montealban State.
-Local Police forces have been put under direct control of the Ministry; the law and constitutional order are now being enforced by a garrison of anti-hooligan forces from the Ministry of Caning.
-Foreigners are no longer allowed to enter the Autonomous Province from Spezia until the situation has been resolved. Exceptions apply to those who carry a special permit allowing them to enter restricted territory.

Goals
This status will not be lifted until the following has been achieved:

-Full restoration of the local peace
-Full restoration of the Corporatist constitutional order
-Complete eradication of anti-constitutional elements
-Complete eradication of Hooliganism
-Complete integration of Spezia into the Second Montealban State

Novy Hrodsk, June 4th 2023

Trigori, Seattleninja008, Dagoth Uur, Meyle, and 1 otherAroltia

Order 1, containing news from June 1st 2023 - June 6th 2023

The Aesymnetes has officially approved the Citizens council request to approve the Department of Caning within V-M borders. After viewing the dissoluton of the Autonomous Province of Spezia Vínfalov-Meyle has quickly joined the fold so as to not lose its autonomous status. The Aesymnetes shall remain in power and work with the new 2nd Montealban State. To continue to operate in this role most effectively the status of Union between the Vínfalov and Meyleans is officially dissolved. The 2 Root-beerian states shall now operate as one official entity. The official name of the province, "The Grandest Home of the Vínfalov and Meyle Under the One Star" shall remain but for government documents the "Province of Vioney" shall now be used to represent the state. Using the old name of the Root-beerian state that used to exist in the area in medieval times.

The new state reaffirms its opposition to Fascistic, Communistic, Kaiseric, and hoolaginist activites and they will be dealt with by the newly approved ministry of caning, which has already established offices in the cities of Anise, Kessidy, and Sv. Marisa.

Trade remains strong. The Vínfalov and Meyleans are a united people and while chaos reigned in the realm they maintained strong ties with the EU and west to maintain imports. This they now choose to share with Siesty Dom and the remaining territories in need of supplies. Humanitarian convoy's should be expected in the coming days.

The Ministry of Navy has reorganized itself and the Minister for the Navy himself has gone on a pilgramige to find the mythical Chrysanthmum Isle. This Isle is said to contain holy scriptures of the Vínfalov-Meylean religions and the status of this island state will allow them to better analyze the naval tactics and equipment of foreign countries to better invest and procure for the strengthening of the Montealban Navy.

General Notices:
-Interstate 3, crossing through Anise, Kada, Sv. Cebereus will be fully opening its 2nd lane after months of maintenance.
-The Cecensko memorial in Kessidy is reopened for the public under a guard to avoid vandalism
-Juliet Company has officially disarmed as a Vioney PMC and submits itself to the new central state under orders of the Aesymnetes.

HAIL VIONEY! MY LIFE FOR VIONEY!

Shaido uni, sekund uni 2023 por sekund seku 2023

Zenyen no cocha no peum por {Department of Caning} shovsci no Aesamnitai a peum seishilfaia. Otonomi ken no Spezia apro ponduai, soi Vínfallo-Meyru nia nadu bacome, Aesamnitai a shin Prinkes hoyo sanajia. Aesamnitai no basoi a gadu. Shin Prinkes no Liu a suwa tarakia. Mou soi biete taraku avo no shin Prinkeps bacome Aesamnitai a Vínfallo-Meyru no Uniki nia etia. niu maichi ar pondci et uni maichi a no toushi tarakci. Seishil nami, {Vinfallo et Meyru no Meilban Maichi Yünde len Meil Astéru} a gadin demai len feunei no seishil nami, {Vioney ken} a kagin.

Shin ken vaui fashishu, Comishu, Kaishu, Holaganshu no Otoçon kopanikopan et kon Otoçon tuti nubasinubasin. len {Department of Caning} a sudeja jiso den Anise, Kessidy, Sv. Marisa a sudri.

Kobai nosti omu. Falu et Meyru a uniki no Otoçon et meria saon no ken nadai. Kon ken avo EU et len ust a basoi omu shikeite impotfau. kon impot no ken a parsci avo Siesty Dom et ahao shin ken den beskau. suitsi joi den Otoçoishu goso a aritsu.

Nakai no ministri a saiorkensin et meria ministrishu watekitik {chrysanthemum Isle} no yovini higardeite a sati. kon shils

ahao nus
-Hasti tan, Anise, Kada, Sv. Cebereus no veyokumo len niuti vin a saikeoku aho niu und ar itenji.
-lemenki no Çecensko den Kessidy no bilko ar saikeokin. kon lemenki no viki halaktoi a keidi ar magamu.
-Juliet gun a kaoburmiete seishilfain a no Vioney PMC. kon gun, Aesamnitai a cojaiete tarakin avo shin prinkeps

HAIL VIONEY! NIA VIU AR VIONEY!

Trigori, Seattleninja008, Dagoth Uur, Nova Hrodsk, and 1 otherAroltia

All your cartographic needs and wants may now be fulfilled!
Dagotinho's map of the map of the State of Montealba and surrounding regions is now available through the Wesinger Printingworks company!
Hand drawn and printed in Ingerland, based on the most accurate reference charts!

Appreciate the State of Montealba and its natural features!
Explore the countryside without getting lost!
Educate the youth on the history of the State and its neighbors!

To be made available at every school and public library in Montealba, as well as through mail-order.
Access your preview here:


(Distribution and delivery times may vary by quality of infrastructure)
(Wesinger Printingworks Co., Wesinger Print LLC, and associated subsidiaries do not claim fault for misdirections, misrepresentations, or misinterpretations of map features, nor claim fault for endangerment of map users exploring regions considered dangerous by international or local observers (special disclaimers apply for Duristani and Spezi autonomous regions))

Trigori, Nova Hrodsk, and Aroltia

EXCERPTS FROM THE CANNERIES: II

Jovan Djordjević, the martyr

Jovan Djordjević, a resident of the impoverished slums outside Mariagrad, was destined for a life of labor in the canneries—a fate similar to that of a feudal serf tied to their master's land. But Jovan yearned for independence, and slowly convinced himself that the only way to break free was to set one of the canneries ablaze. As he ignited the fire, a security detail caught sight of him, forcing Jovan to abandon his crime and flee into the dusty and dark alleyways of the maze like city.

Desperate to evade the mounting criminal charges against him, Jovan embarked on a one way pilgrimage across the country, seeking solace in anonymity. However, his attempts to find employment in Terovgrad were short-lived, as the authorities from Vissegard soon arrived, casting an ominous shadow over his newfound haven. Faced with the imminent threat of capture, Jovan made an unfortunate decision to set fire to yet another building, erasing any trace of his existence in the city, but also leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.

With each passing day, Jovan became more of a nomad, a restless wanderer with no fixed abode. He sought refuge with a small nomadic tribe, their way of life mirroring his own perpetual state of displacement. The nomads quickly ratted him out, however, and Jovan was once again forced to flee. Jovan tried seeking refuge in the shadows of Pripjat, and on the beaches of Kada, where the crashing waves provided a temporary respite from his own existence. But even in that fleeting moment of tranquility, Jovan could not escape the weight of his past.

The world became his shelter and his prison. At his lowest, Jovan found refuge within the confines of a museum, huddling in a dusty bathroom stall for a weekend. The silence of the museum's halls offered him a temporary reprieve from the relentless pursuit that dogged his every step. But as he left his makeshift camp behind, he knew his time was limited, for his crimes would inevitably catch up with him once again.

Nowhere else to turn, Jovan returned to Mariagrad—the very place from which he initially sought escape. The city's dark alleys and loud booms frightened Jovan more than ever, as police and cannery guards could be in every corner. With every footstep on the worn cobblestone streets, he felt the weight of his past mistakes pressing against his shoulders. The air carried whispers of his transgressions, each breeze reminding him that he was a marked man.

And then, chaos.

Attempting to blend in while walking down one of the bustling streets in downtown Mariagrad, Jovan's gaze was drawn to a significant crowd huddled around a small tube television. Though his mind urged him to avoid drawing attention to himself, Jovan's feet propelled him towards the gathering. He caught only fragments of a newscaster's words, "Glory to the New State!" before the crowd erupted into screams and dispersed, their voices echoing phrases such as "The country has fallen!" and "Vissegard has no leader!"

What followed the hysteria was what will be forever known as the Mariagrad Massacre.

In the aftermath of the massacre, Jovan spent most of his time packing his belongings and meticulously planning his next move in his makeshift hut on the outskirts of the slums. He was prepared to leave and start anew, perhaps in the Buzhan Republic or Dawlat Thania. However, his plans were abruptly halted when two men dressed in black arrived at his doorstep.

"Mr. Jovan Djordjević, I presume?" said the taller of the two men, his voice laced with a chilling authority. Jovan's heart sank as he stared at them, shock and fear gripping his every fiber. It had been over seven months since anyone had uttered his name, yet these strangers seemed well-acquainted with his identity.

"You're under arrest for destruction of government property, arson, murder, vandalism, and grand larceny," declared the shorter man, deliberately deepening his voice to sound more menacing. Jovan's mind raced, desperately trying to rationalize his actions. "But all I did was commit arson, and it was in another province!" he stammered, hoping to plead his case.

The two men exchanged a knowing glance, their eyes filled with an unsettling mix of indifference and cold determination. Without uttering a word, they descended upon Jovan, delivering merciless blows that left him battered and bruised. The pain seared through his body, each strike a cruel reminder of the consequences he now faced. In a haze of agony, Jovan's consciousness waned, and he was left to the mercy of his captors.

Jovan regained consciousness, his battered body throbbing with pain. He strained against his restraints, feeling the cold metal of handcuffs biting into his wrists. The room was dimly lit, and he struggled to focus his eyes as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. Panic welled up within him, but his attempts to cry out were stifled by the tight gag, allowing only muffled sounds to escape.

A figure emerged from the shadows, stepping into Jovan's line of sight. Clad in a dark trench coat and a distinctive military hat, the man exuded an aura of authority. His tall, thin frame was accentuated by his greying hair, cropped close to his scalp. But what drew Jovan's attention most was the scar that marred the man's face, stretching from his right ear down to his chin.

"Jovan Djordjević," the man spoke, his voice chilling and tinged with an intriguing accent. "You must be wondering why you find yourself in this predicament, yes?" The man's words dripped with a calculated tone, as if relishing the power he held over Jovan's fate. Jovan's gaze burned with a mix of hatred and defiance, silently questioning the motives behind his capture.

"Oh, wait," the man continued, a faint smile playing on his lips. "Of course, you cannot speak." His comment carried a tinge of amusement, further fueling Jovan's anger. The realization that his ability to defend himself had been taken away only intensified his rage.

"Mr. Djordjević, I believe you are well aware of the reason for your presence here," the man stated, his voice devoid of empathy. "Seven months ago, you threatened to set fire to cannery #44 of the Vissegard Canning Co. As the Secretary of the Department of Canning, it falls upon me to apprehend individuals like yourself." Jovan's confusion deepened at the mention of this unknown government department, wondering if he had missed some significant development in his world. Had the government truly descended into madness?

Before Jovan could gather his thoughts, the Secretary interrupted his train of thought, his smile widening. "According to the Department of Canning Act 2, all canneries owned by the Vissegard Canning Co. have been declared government buildings," he explained, his tone filled with a disturbing satisfaction. "And by virtue of Order 7742, your attempted arson of such a building mandates your execution."

The weight of the situation bore down on Jovan, the gravity of his actions and the unforgiving laws that now governed his fate. His mind raced, searching for a glimmer of hope, a crack in the seemingly impenetrable system that held him captive. But as he met the cold gaze of the Secretary, he understood that his struggle for freedom had led him to a point of no return.

The Secretary paced around the room, his footsteps echoing in the silence. Jovan's eyes darted around, desperately seeking an escape route, but his restraints held him firmly in place. The scar on the Secretary's face seemed to contort into a sinister grin, amplifying the dread that coursed through Jovan's veins.

"Mr. Djordjević, your actions have not only endangered the interests of the Vissegard Canning Co., but they have also disrupted the stability of our society," the Secretary continued, his voice dripping with disdain. "We cannot allow such insubordination to go unpunished. You are a symbol of chaos, an embodiment of the threat to the canneries prosperity."

As the Secretary spoke, Jovan's mind raced, searching for a glimmer of hope. But the weight of his crimes, the evidence stacked against him, seemed insurmountable. The realization that he was at the mercy of an unjust system threatened to crush his spirit.
"And so," the Secretary declared, his voice now cold and authoritative, "your fate is sealed. The Canneries demand justice, and justice shall be served."

Suddenly, the room filled with a chorus of footsteps, as a small group of uniformed soldiers marched in, their expressions void of emotion. Jovan's heart pounded in his chest as they formed a line behind the Secretary. In their eyes, he saw not just the instruments of his demise, but a reflection of the oppressive regime that held them captive as well.
As they approached, Jovan's mind raced, desperately seeking a way to defy his captors, to resist the chains that bound him. But his body, weakened and battered, could do little more than tremble in fear.

The soldiers surrounded Jovan, their eyes locked onto him with an unsettling intensity. One by one, they raised their weapons, their fingers tightening around the triggers. Jovan closed his eyes, bracing himself for the inevitable.

In that moment, as the room fell into an eerie silence, Jovan's mind drifted back to the slums of Mariagrad, to the flickering flames that had ignited his desperate quest for freedom. He thought of the nomadic tribe, the fleeting moments of respite in Pripjat and on the beaches of Kada. He thought of the weight of his past, the whispers that followed him through the city's alleyways.

Jovan’s last thought was of his mother as the deafening roar of gunfire filled the room.

Nova Hrodsk
Please add tweenism into list of canable offences

Dagoth Uur, Nova Hrodsk, Meyle, and Aroltia

Trigori wrote:Nova Hrodsk
Please add tweenism into list of canable offences

Tweenism has been added as a caneable offense under II.6 (Hooliganism)

Furthermore, “Zoomer brain” has been added under I.6 (anti-constitutional behavior), in extreme cases it could also fall under Tweenism and therefore II.6

Trigori, Aroltia, and Siimyardo

New croatian order

Hello

Trigori, Cartorian Empire, and Aroltia

New croatian order wrote:Hello

SMARTERIAL SATELLITE REGISTERED

Dagoth Uur, Meyle, Aroltia, Smarterial, and 1 otherNew croatian order

Trigori wrote:
SMARTERIAL SATELLITE REGISTERED

Bruh

Trigori, Dagoth Uur, and Aroltia

New croatian order

Trigori wrote:
SMARTERIAL SATELLITE REGISTERED

Nah it aint me :)

Trigori and Aroltia

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE MINISTRY OF AGRICULTURE

HIS KERNALNESS DUKE KARTOR OF KARTORIA AND MINISTER OF MONTEALBAN AGRICULTURE IS DESTROYING ALL CROPS BARRING CORN, MAIZE, SWEET CORN, BLACK CORN. ALL WHEAT FARMERS ARE TO REPORT TO THE BULLETIN OFFICE AND FARMERS OF CURRENT CORN CROPS ARE TO INCREASE YIELD 

END TRANSMISSION

Trigori, Seattleninja008, Dagoth Uur, Nova Hrodsk, and 2 othersMeyle, and Aroltia

Post self-deleted by Cartorian Empire.

As acting regent I demand an offering of cheese

Dagoth Uur, Nova Hrodsk, and Aroltia

Hooliganismus,,,,,

Seattleninja008, Cartorian Empire, Nova Hrodsk, Meyle, and 1 otherAroltia

Quick PSA: Please do not put any legal tender in your mouth as some mints may have taken the phrase “our currency is backed by uranium” too literally ok thanks bye

Seattleninja008, Dagoth Uur, Cartorian Empire, and Aroltia

Seattleninja008

Nova Hrodsk wrote:Quick PSA: Please do not put any legal tender in your mouth as some mints may have taken the phrase “our currency is backed by uranium” too literally ok thanks bye

You’ll get more then just uranium if it’s a Pripjat minted coin

Seattleninja008

ANNOUCEMENT FROM THE PROVINCAL GOVERNMENT OF PRIPJAT

We understand that Pripjati wheat farmers are upset about the recent announcement from the Montealban Ministery of Agriculture. However, both Suetl River road bridges were stolen last week and parts have been found across Northeast Montealba jamming up corn harvesting machinery. A jersey barrier from the Pripjat-Laktosia Friendship bridge was discovered on the desk of the Montealban Minister of Agriculture this morning. We ask that our bridges do be returned in full immediately. Failure to comply will result in removal from the province to be processed by the Montealban Ministry of Caning.

ANNOUCEMENT FROM THE MONTEALBAN MINISTRY OF AGRICULTURE AND OFFICE OF ACTING REGENT

Due to an apparent bridge theft the Province of Pripjat will be provided with air dropped corn seedlings over all known farmland. The ministry of Agriculture is working tirelessly (seriously our tires have been stolen) in conjunction with the Ministries of Labor and Transportation (whom mysteriously acquired some tires as of recent) in order to bolster our corn production quotas. In other news the Ministry of Keeping things Orderly has caught fire presumably from corn husks left cleverl- I mean unfortunately next to the building. 

Seattleninja008, Dagoth Uur, Nova Hrodsk, Meyle, and 1 otherAroltia

ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE MINISTRY OF CANING

Due to a state of lawlessness and overall HOOLIGANISM, the Ministry of Caning has decided to launch a “anti-hooliganism campaign” in the former province of Al-Duristan.

The goal of said campaign is to destroy certain disruptive elements through severe canings and other punitive measures. Furthermore, the Ministry intends to set up temporary control points, until a new administration for these parts has been found.

Since this is an internal matter, it falls entirely within the purview of the Ministry of Caning, NOT the Army.

Seattleninja008, Cartorian Empire, and Aroltia

Drake loves bbc (big beefy carpathians)

Nova Hrodsk and Aroltia

ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE MINISTRY OF CANING

The first convoys sent by the Ministry of Caning have reached hooligan-controlled Zærondsahar. Low intensity fighting ensued. Forces of the Second State prevailed, the area south of the Jutrotor River will soon submit to the constitutional order.

Seattleninja008, Dagoth Uur, Cartorian Empire, Meyle, and 2 othersAroltia, and Trepimeria

I have been elected Chancellor of Kaiserreich, I must swap nations

Aroltia and Trepimeria

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