The Unpleasantness of Cellulite is a gargantuan, orderly nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 45.628 billion Celluliteans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 77.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant Cellulitean economy, worth 763 trillion liposuctions a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 16,728 liposuctions, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements and political activists are routinely executed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cellulite's national animal is the wobbling thighbeast, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cellulite is ranked 287,446^th in the world and 14^th in 100 Nations of Conquest for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 3,763.88 Standard Monetary Units.