The United States of Heikhaup is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its teetotalling pirates, anti-smoking policies, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.378 billion Heikhaupians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yinichi. The average income tax rate is 87.8%.

The powerhouse Heikhaupian economy, worth a remarkable 1,426 trillion Asses a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 99,212 Asses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Murder victims' families receive windfall payouts when the murderers are executed, untold millions of Asses are going into a new government-funded maternity leave scheme, thrift shops are closing their doors, and incidents involving lethal string attacks have gone way up. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heikhaup's national animal is the skunk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Heikhaup is ranked 86,766^th in the world and 4^th in Anubis for Most Patriotic, with 16.58 flags saluted per person per day.