The Constitutional Monarchy of Zeekelonia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Zeek the Cruel with an even hand, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, zero percent divorce rate, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 43.699 billion Zeekelonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The minute government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beech Grove. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zeekelonian economy, worth a remarkable 9,140 trillion Zeekmarks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Retail, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an amazing 209,162 Zeekmarks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 626,550 per year while the poor average 54,574, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.

Talkative students are escorted from schools in second-hand prison buses, teddy bear James Dean (aka "the Rebel Without the Claws") helps convince kids that candy cigarettes are cool, political candidates recite daily pledges of loyalty to their chosen party, and the nation's new Mylab space station is notorious for being the loneliest place above the planet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zeekelonia's national animal is the Eager Beaver, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Zeekelonia is ranked 49,905^th in the world and 1^st in Tunguska for Lowest Crime Rates, with 74.2 law-abiding acts per hour.