The Bizarrely Localized Typhoon of The Holy Therns is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by the Witch with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, strictly enforced bedtime, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 27.897 billion minions are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Stormy Castle. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 81.6%.

The thriving a minion economy, worth a remarkable 2,487 trillion souls a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 89,184 souls, with the richest citizens earning 6.6 times as much as the poorest.

Nobody draws smiley faces on receipts anymore, masterpieces by male artists are on display in the dumpsters behind the gallery, rich people sell their mansions to pay for endless rows of mobile homes, and corporate lobbying has been outlawed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Holy Therns's national animal is the nose-like appendage, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is evil.

The Holy Therns is ranked 6,049^th in the world and 4^th in Snazzy for Lowest Crime Rates, with 111.96 law-abiding acts per hour.